THE MULE
Chapter 11
I was at the office at eight o’clock. The receptionist, Karen, stopped me as I walked past with a cheery morning greeting and a message that Miss Angela Simms had called two minutes prior to my arrival requesting a nine thirty appointment. I told Karen to call her back and confirm it. Then I walked down to my office, took the script out of my briefcase and began reading it one more time, looking for any word that wasn’t weighty enough with value in relation to the desired effect, on both Angela and myself. When I’d finished I had to admit that I’d done a very good job. I smiled. I should write more scripts when I’m tired. I do a better job than when I’m fresh.
A few cups of coffee and two more times of rehearsing the script for maximum effect and there remained fifteen minutes before Angela would arrive. I’d half-expected Tina to drop in or buzz me to say good morning, but she hadn’t as yet. Probably slept in, I figured, working late at the office or some such thing.
Then I walked through to the therapy room in which I’d decided to hold this morning’s session. Tina had told me how to work the video and sound equipment using two foot-pedals just beside the main therapy chair. It was within easy reach of the smaller chair on which I would be sitting. I adjusted the lighting by turning off the main overhead light and turning on the tall, freestanding lamp behind the therapy chair. It threw a soft light all over the bigger chair, and obviously, anybody sitting in it would be bathed in the soft light as well. Tina had assured me that there would be enough light for the video recorder to get everything on tape clearly.
The tape deck and sound equipment stood about six feet away from the end of the large chair, the video being fitted with a zoom lens, which I could operate at, will by pressing one of the two foot-pedals on the floor beside the big chair. I glanced at my watch. Almost nine thirty, and still no word from Tina.
Then the buzzer took thoughts of her from my mind. It was Karen, telling me that Angela had arrived. I asked her to bring Miss Simms down to my office and sat down and waited.
‘Good morning Doctor Wallace!’ Angela said cheerfully after Karen had turned on her heels with a wave and walked from my office.
‘Good morning Angela.’ I replied just as cheerfully, watching her sit down and make herself comfortable. She looked better than she had the day before. ‘You look very relaxed. Sleep well?’
Angela beamed a beautiful smile at me. Shame she didn’t like guys, I thought as I smiled back at her.
‘Doctor, you wouldn’t believe it!’ She exclaimed excitedly. ’ I’ve had the best night’s sleep since I can remember! I slept like a baby! No dreams. No anything! Must’ve been something you did yesterday! But it worked!’
‘That’s wonderful, Angela.’ I smiled. ‘You can’t beat a good night’s sleep, I always say.’
‘That’s for sure!’ She answered.
‘What can I do for you, Angela?’ I asked, testing.
‘That’s the funny thing.’ She began. ’ I woke up, and as soon as I realised how well I’d slept, I just had to come and tell you. I can’t really explain it. I just wanted to, I guess. So I phoned and made an appointment. Hope you don’t mind. It’s my day off anyway.’
‘Not at all.’ I replied. ’ It’s not often my patients take the time or trouble to let us know how effective their therapy has been.’
‘It’s working great!’ She said enthusiastically. ’ It really is!’
‘That’s fine, Angela. I’m very happy for you.’ I said. Then; ’ Angela, since you’re here, and you don’t have to go to work, is there anything of any nature you’d like to talk about? No charge of course.’
Her features steadied as she thought deeply about something. Then she smiled a half- smile, sort of shy look at me. I wondered if her subconscious had began to let her know consciously of her sexual preferences yet.
‘Well ... there is one thing.’ She began slowly, not looking at me, instead staring at the top of my desk.
‘Why don’t we go through to the therapy room, Angela. I’m sure you’ll be much more comfortable. Besides. It’s a lot more private in there. We won’t be disturbed. You can be assured of that.’
‘Okay.’ She said and stood up with me, taking the privacy suggestion to heart immediately. That convinced me that her subconscious had told her something.
I led the way into the therapy room and closed the door. Thankfully the air- conditioning had powered up. The room was nice and cool. I settled her into the large chair and adjusted it to the fully reclining level.
‘Ohhhh. This is really comfortable.’ She exclaimed. ’ I could go to sleep right here, right now.’
‘Don’t do that, Angela.’ I chuckled. ‘You’ll miss everything.’
‘Oh, I won’t.’ She said. ’ I slept well enough last night. Believe me!’
‘Okay.’ I began. ‘Why don’t you just start to relax and tell me what’s bothering you. Just relax and breathe deeply, and just let everything happens as it wants to. Don’t try to make anything happen, and don’t try to stop anything from happening. Whatever you wanted to talk to me about, just allow it to come out of your mouth naturally, easily, and calmly. Okay?’
‘Okay.’ She answered, and began to take a few deep breaths, relaxing more deeply into the comfortable, large chair. ‘Oohh. This is sooo comfy.’
I smiled, stretching my leg toward the side of her chair, pressing the video recorder on with the ball of my foot.
‘Whenever you’re ready, Angela. Just take your time. No rush-no fuss.’ I encouraged her gently. She could rest on her own time. Now there was work to be done, and I hated wasting time.
‘I think my problems with my relationships are ... my fault.’ She said quietly.
‘Why do you think that?’ I asked gently.
‘Well, I think it’s because I ... I ...’
‘Just allow it to come out ... any way it wants to, if you ... feel it wants to come out ... naturally and easily ... while ... you just relax ... even more deeply.’ I told her. I didn’t want her trancing just yet.
‘Ye..es.’ She said with a long sigh. ‘Doctor, I… Oh. I like other ...ah... girls.’ She said quietly, almost a whisper.
‘Is that such a problem?’ I asked her. ’ I have plenty of male friends.’
‘I mean,’ She said, ’ I ... like ... other girls. In a ... a ...sexual way.’
She said it so softly, the last two words, that I hardly heard her.
‘How long have you liked other girls?’ I probed.
‘Since I was very young-in my teens.’ She replied. ‘But I’ve never ... I’ve never ... errr ... been with a girl. I just like them. I ... umm ... think about them a lot-more than boys, I mean.’
‘How often do you think about boys in a sexual way?’ I probed deeply.
‘Hardly ever ... these days.’ She said.
‘Don’t you like boys at all?’
‘I do, but ... but ... they’re so ... rough, and ... they’re not gentle and tender like they should be ... like I want. Err... No offence.’
I smiled. ‘And you think because you think of girls in a sexual way, that the reason for your relationships failing in the past is because of that?’ I phrased for her.
‘Yes. I think it might be.’ She answered. ’ I think it is, now that I think about it more deeply.’
‘What would you like to do about solving that problem?’ I said. ‘As you see it affecting your future relationships?’
She was silent for a minute, breathing deeply, looking calm and relaxed. No sign of stress.
‘I think I’d like to try ... to maybe ... be .. with one. A girl, I mean. I know some places my friends have told me about, but I’m ... I’m not game to ... to approach anybody.’
‘Do you want me to tell you it’s all right for you to try being with a girl and see if it’s really what you want?’ I put it to her.
‘I guess.’ She said. ‘Yes. I guess I want someone to tell me it’s not ... you know ... dirty or ... bad. You know?’
‘Yes Angela. I know. And it’s not dirty or bad. It just something you have to find out about yourself, and, if you don’t experiment and see if it’s really what you want, you’ll never know. Will you?’ I posed.
‘I guess not, when you put it that way.’ She replied.
‘Then I think you should do whatever feels right for you. That way, you’re in control of your feelings and your life, and they don’t control you, which is what you want. Isn’t that true? To keep the control over your life you’ve maybe never had before?’
‘Yes .’ She said positively. ‘That’s what I really want. Control over my life. I don’t think I’ve ever really had it.’
‘Good.’ I said. ‘Would you like to talk about anything else now?’
Angela sighed deeply. ‘No. I don’t think so. I feel so much better now that I’ve told someone. I never have before. I think you’re great. I really do. So understanding.’
I smiled. ’ If what you’re going to do doesn’t work out, Angela. Don’t forget there are plenty of us boys still around. We train up and domesticate pretty well, once we have a good woman to tell us what to do.’ I said with a chuckle.
Angela laughed, then took a deep breath, letting it out with a long sigh.
‘I feel so much better now that I’ve told someone.’ She repeated. ’ I suppose I’d better go now and let you get on with your day. You must have other patients who need your services.’
‘Angela?’ I said positively. ‘Does the number .. seven .. mean anything to you?’
‘What? Sev ... ooh,’ She started, then breathed deeply and sighed. Her head shifted a little as she relaxed deeply and began to trance down.
‘Relax ... and ... go deeper ... down in your ... peaceful trance.’ I told her gently, but positively.
She sighed again, a half-smile forming at the corners of her mouth as she exhaled and shifted once more in the chair. I reached over and picked up my script from the top of the sound system, then breathed deeply myself, sinking quickly into a light trance as I squared my shoulders, then relaxed them completely, allowing my eyes to gently close to half-mast only, so I could still read the script, although I knew it fairly well already. I had to concentrate on steadying my excitement at finally getting the opportunity to conduct this experiment. After two minutes of concentrated, relaxed, shallow breathing I became aware of myself beginning to trance down more deeply as I sat there focusing on the top of the script page.
I knew I’d reach a point in reading the script where I would leave it completely and close my eyes right down, talking from memory, which was why I had spent so much time familiarising myself with its flow and rehearsing it with all its inflections. Now, we would see what we would see, I decided vaguely, as I relaxed my breathing even more, imaging every organ in my body gradually slowly down to a quiet halt, just above unconsciousness.