THE MULE
Chapter 12
‘Angela?’ I began slowly, and as smoothly as I could, given my own situation.
‘Yes.’ She answered slowly, indicating to me she was already in a deep trance. Her face and features looked relaxed and very calm.
‘You ... already know you ... feel very ... deeply relaxed ... and calm. Isn’t that.. .true?’
‘Yes.’ She sighed.
‘And you ... know you can, and ... always will be able to ... hear the sound of ... my voice ... very clearly. Isn’t that also ... true?’
‘Yes.’ She answered dreamily.
‘And ... isn’t it ... also true ... that when a deeply tranced and hypnotised person is instructed to experience something, anything, they find it ... impossible to resist ...experiencing it?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do ... you ... like being hypnotised ... and being put into such a ... deep, relaxing, ... and peaceful ... trance?’
‘Yes.’
‘Would ... you ... like to experience ... the ... relaxation ... and incredibly ... wonderful experience ... of a ... special ... and very ... deep trance?’
‘Yes.’
‘That’s fine. You’re doing perfectly.’ I said, after having established the ‘yes’ set. ‘Now, ... this special trance is ‘special’ because ... I will be joining you ... in that deep and relaxing state. Is it all right with you if we ... share ... that wonderful experience ... together?’
‘Yes.’ She sighed as she breathed out.
‘Thank you, Angela.’ I said. ‘What trance level depth do you think you are in right now?’
‘Ten.’ Angela said without thinking, which was a good sign to me.
‘Would you ... believe me ... if I told you that there are many deeper levels of relaxing trance state depths than just a ten?’ I asked her, posing the possibility of even greater relaxation to her mind.
‘Yes.’ She answered.
‘That’s right. Because ... you know ... already that ... everything ... I tell you to feel, ... you will feel, ... with every fibre of your being. And ... everything ... I tell you to experience, ... you will experience ... as real and alive and ... actually occurring ... And ... everything ... I tell you that is going to happen, ... will happen, ... exactly as I tell you ... it will happen ... Isn’t that ... true?’
‘Yes.’
‘That’s fine. You’re doing perfectly ... Now ... Together, ... you ... and I are going to ... get on an elevator ... to take us ... down to ... the trance level of ... one hundred ... Can you ... imagine ... now how much ... deeper ... and ... more relaxed ... you’ll be on that amazingly deep level of trance?’
‘Yees. Ooohh, soooo deeeeep.’ She answered with wonderment in her voice.
‘Of course ... you can ... because you can ... imagine ... how much more ... relaxed ... and ... calm you’ll be ... at that very deep level but not asleep like you are at night. Isn’t that ... true?’
‘Yees.’ She sighed slowly, still with awe in her tone of voice.
‘And ... you ... know that you ... will never go to sleep ... at that deep level of trance, because ... I will be there ... with you ... Talking to you ... and sharing experiences ... with you ... Isn’t that ... true?’
‘Yes.’
‘That’s fine. You’re doing perfectly ... Now ... We will ... stand in the elevator ... together. I will be by your side, although you won’t be able to see me at first ... Then, ... as we both ... watch the different numbers ... of each deeper level ... light up ... on the elevator board ... in front ... of us, just ... above the door, ... displayed ... in a horizontal line, ... all the way ... down to one hundred ... And we will both ... feel ... twice as ... deeply relaxed ... with ... each number ... we slowly see moving ... more deeply ... downward toward one hundred. Can you ... imagine that happening?’
‘Yes.’
‘And along the way ... you ... may find that ... you are so relaxed ... you just don’t have the ... effort to talk, ... because ... you ... will be so ... deeply in trance, ... and getting so much ... deeper ... with ... each ... passing ... number ... that you’ll find you ... just can’t talk, ... even though ... you want to, ... so ... you can tell me ... and think to me how wonderful you feel as we both ... go deeper ... and ... deeper down ... toward that ... last level, ... all the way down to one hundred. Can ... you imagine that?’
‘Yeees.’ She sighed.
I could feel my own mind and body becoming more deeply tranced as that part of my conscious mind that was controlling the session continued to talk, while my subconscious mind began to open more fully as I attuned to the scenario I was asking Angela to imagine.
‘In fact, ... as we reach the deep level of fifty you’ll find that ... you can’t talk ... at all, no matter how hard ... you try ... to, because ... you want ... so much to ... tell me ... how wonderfully relaxed and calm ... you feel ... You will find it frustrating, but you will ... always ... remain ... relaxed and calm, ... becoming ... more so ... with each number ... you see ... on the elevator panel as we travel slowly ... deeper and deeper down ... toward the ... deepest trance ... levels of one hundred. Isn’t that ... true?’
‘Ye..ees.’ She answered, a little hint of frustration sounding in her tone already.
‘That’s right, and because ... you want ... so much, with every fibre of your heart and soul ... to talk to me ... and ... share ... your wonderful experience ... with me ... you’ll realise that you ... don’t need to talk ... at all. Because ... you are ... so deeply ... relaxed, ... much ... deeper than ever ... before ... in your life, ... you’ll realise that ... you ... can ... talk to me ... with your mind with the incredible relaxed power of ... your own mind, as you think so strongly, ... and see me so clearly .. in a ... very relaxed ... and wonderfully ... focused ... manner as you just ... think your thoughts and images ... into my mind as we ... go deeper and deeper ... toward the trance level of one hundred. Can you ... believe ... that in ... your imagination?’
‘Ohh, yes’
‘And ... you will ... be so surprised to ... discover ... to your amazement that the more you ... concentrate ... in such a ... relaxed focused ... manner when you’re ... talking to me ... and seeing me clearly .. that you will begin to ... imagine you can ... actually ... see me, ... right there ... in ... the elevator of ... your mind, ... standing right ... beside you ... and smiling ... You will be ... able to see how ... relaxed and calm ... I look and know that it’s exactly how ... you feel ... as we share that ... wonderful ... experience together as we ... watch the elevator numbers ... taking us more ... deeply down ... to the level of one hundred. Can ... you believe ... that in ... your imagination ?’
‘Yeees.’
‘And ... you ... can ... believe ... that the closer we both travel even more deeply downward in both ... our minds ... toward the deepest level of one hundred that you’ll find to your amazement that ... what’s really happening ... is that you are ... allowing me ... to actually come ... into your own mind ... to ... share ... everything ... with you ... first hand, together, just as ... you wanted ... to tell me about, and now ... you can ... Because we’ll be together in your own mind. And you’ll ... look at my face ... and ... imagine ... me coming into ... your own mind ... so ... clearly ... that ... you’ll feel me ... feel my thoughts ... as I ask you to ... open your subconscious mind ... and ... allow me to enter ... and share with you. Isn’t that ... what you ... really ... want? To ... share ... this wonderful experience in person with... me inside your own mind?’
‘Oooohyeeees!’ She answered with feeling in her tone.
‘That’s fine, Angela. You’re doing perfectly.’ I told her, my own voice becoming slower and slower in speech because of my own trance depth. ‘And when ... you feel ... and ... see me ... trying to ... come ... into ... your mind ... because ... you want me there ... with you so very ... strongly ... and ... you can see ... on ... my face ... as I ... look through ... the glass door of ... your mind ... that I want to ... come into your mind ... so strongly that ... you ... will open ... the glass door of ... your mind ... and ... let me inside ... your mind, so we can ... share ... that wonderful experience ... together ... That will be ... so wonderful ... Isn’t that ... true?’
‘Ye..Ooohyeees. Sowonderful!’ She said with the emotion rising in her tone of voice.
‘And ... you ... want to ... let me in ... Isn’t that ... your strongest wish ... and desire?’
‘Ooohyeees! I wanyou to comeinside mymind!’ She answered.
‘How strongly do ... you want me ... to come ... inside your mind ... Angela?’
‘Pleeease! Oooh, verystrongly!’ She said
‘And how strongly ... with all your heart ... and soul do ... you want to imagine ... yourself, with all your heart and soul, seeing yourself ... opening ... the glass door of ... your mind ... with all your heart and soul as we ... approach the level ... of one hundred and ... allowing me ... with all your heart and soul to come ... inside your mind ... with your ... full permission ... and all your heart and soul to ... share ... the incredible feeling of having ... me inside your mind ... with you to ... share ... that wonderful moment in ... your heart ... with you with all your heart and soul?’
‘With all... my heart and soul!’ Angela replied with an emotion-filled voice, and, beginning to sound clear once again.
‘That’s fine, Angela. You’re doing perfectly. And can ... you believe and imagine ... the emotion that will swell in your heart as you realise that ... you have allowed ... another human being ... me, inside your ... subconscious ... mind ... for the very first time in your life, to ... share ... everything with you?’
‘Ye..s.’ She answered, her voice breaking a little from the emotion in her imaginings.
‘And can you see us both in your mind now standing in ... the elevator ... waiting for you to ... press the button ... that will take us both ... down ... to the level of one hundred, where ... everything ... I told you to feel ... you will feel? ... And ... everything ... I told you to experience ... you will experience? ... And ... everything ... I told you that will happen ... will happen ... exactly as I told you ... it will happen?’
‘Yes.’ Came the slow reply.
‘That’s fine, Angela. You’re doing perfectly. And if that is ... your strongest wish ... to share everything ... with me ... as we travel ... deeper and deeper ... when I tell you, you may press the number one hundred on the panel to your left, just above your waist and start our incredible journey together, remembering everything that I told you to ... feel ... and ... that will happen ... and that ... you will experience, you will feel ... and will happen, and ... you will experience ... exactly as I told you ... you will feel ... and ... you will experience ... and ... it will happen ...exactly as you’ve so strongly imagined ... it will happen ... all the way down to level one hundred. Is that still ... your strongest wish ... with all your heart and soul?’
‘Oh, yes! It is!’ Angela sighed with emotion.
‘Thank you, Angela. You’re doing perfectly. And for as long as you can you ... will want ... to talk to me and share every detail of ... your experience ... as we ... travel downward ... together, not leaving out a single detail, until ... you can’t talk ... any more, and it will be time to ... let me inside ... your mind by opening the glass door of your subconscious mind where ... you will see me ... clearly wanting to ... be with you ... you still want ... inside your ... subconscious ... mind ... with all my heart and soul ... Is that true?’
‘Oh, yes!’ She replied.
I sensed in my own awareness now it was time to leave the script and go with it, just as she was already doing fully. I let the script fall from my hands and breathed deeply, allowing my eyes to close fully. The last vision I had of Angela before losing conscious awareness of my own immediate surroundings was one of deep relaxation as she lay on the chair, totally relaxed and calm. And the last conscious thought I had was that everything was so far going well. Now it was time to hand to and trust completely my own subconscious mind.
‘Angela, you may ... press the button now ... and begin to ... talk to me ... about what you feel as we both ... travel ... all the way ... down ... to the level of ... one hundred ... Do you understand? All the ... way down ... to level one hundred, becoming ... more relaxed ... and ... calm ... with each passing level as we ... travel deeper ... and ... deeper ... into the depths of our subconscious minds?’
‘Yes.’ She answered.
I breathed deeply, imaging everything I had just told her, waiting to flow with her images as she reported them to me in her own journey downward. I could feel myself becoming distant as I focused on the imagery I had put to her.
‘I feel ... sinking ... feeling ... oooh ...relaxed ...’ She said dreamily.
‘Please ... call out ... the numbers, Angela, that ... you can see ... as we travel ... all the way down ... to level one hundred, and ... everything you sense ... or feel.’
‘Yes.’ She answered, sounding far away, instead of only a few feet from where I sat. ‘Ten.’
A long silence. I started to speak, then decided to allow everything to happen exactly as it wanted to.
‘Floating down. Ohh. Light....as a feather...but getting ... darker.’
‘Soon ... you will see ... a warm light ... everywhere ... Tell me when ... you can.’
‘Mmmmm...yees...softllight....warm....loving.....fifteen..ooohh...floating.......faster... ooh!’
‘Everything is fine. You’re doing perfectly. I’m here ... Look for me ... soon....keep going down ... talk to me ... Angela.’
‘Mmm. Thirty ......Mmmmm...nice light......hard to talk....scared....’
‘Nothing to be frightened of ... Go deeper ... I am here with you ... you’re safe ... look for me ... see me wanting to come in ... think ... of me ... strongest thoughts.’
‘Ooohhh..can’t talk...so hard....uughh...forty..’
‘Think of me! ... Think of me! ... See me! ... Look for me!’
‘Yee.. ss... ooh.... can’t talk.... hard..... fifty.. oohh!’
‘No talk ... think and see ... Think and see ... In your mind ... you can talk ... you can see ... you can feel.’
I relaxed and focused inward on the image of Angela trying to talk to me with such emotion that I could see it very clearly through the haze of my own dim awareness. I imagined myself standing at the glass door of her mind, wanting to come in so strongly, with her on the other side wanting to let me in so strongly. I could feel her anguish. She felt alone. So incredibly alone. And she didn’t want to be.
Angela was scared and frightened. I felt my skin prickle and tingle all over. I sank deeper and deeper into the imagery of her and everything I’d told her to do. The feeling of her anguish grew stronger with each passing second. It was overpowering. I wanted to help her. To tell her not to be frightened- that I was there. That she could talk to me with her thoughts.
‘Safe and warm.’ I thought so strongly. ‘You can ... talk to me ... I’m here ... Safe and warm ... Talk to me ... Angela ... Angela ... Angela ... Talk to me ... Talk to me ... Think to me ... Think to me ... Think to me ... See me ... See me.’
And I continued to image myself looking in through the glass door of her mind, with her on the other side crying and wanting to let me in. God! I could feel her fear, her emotions, and her aloneness.
‘Doctor!’ Came the sound of Angela’s voice suddenly, as loud in my head as if a loudspeaker had been placed inside my mind. I relaxed and imaged, letting myself go deeper and deeper into it.
‘Angela! ... Angela! ... Relax completely .. Let me in! ... Relax and let go and .. Let me in! ... Relax and see me .. See me! ... let go and talk to me! ... See me! ... Let me in!’ I mentally thought to her as I watched her fully on the other side of the glass door. I could see her so clearly. ‘Can’t you see me? ... Look for me! ... Can’t you see me?... Look for me! ... See me! ... Talk to me! ... Safe and warm! ... Safe and warm! ... Safe and warm!’
‘Doctor! Please!’ Came the booming sound of her frightened voice.
I could see her looking at me through the glass door. Her face was frightened and she was crying. She kept looking around for something and running her hands through her hair in a frenzied fashion. Her hands beat quickly on the glass just in front of my face. Then she began to drive her little fists against the glass.
‘Come in!’ Came her voice of anguish inside my mind like a bass drum. ‘Come in! Please! I’m scared!’
‘Let me in! ... Angela! ... Let me in! ... Let me in! .... I’m here! ... Safe and warm! ... You’re safe and warm!’
‘Noooo!’ Her frightened face screamed at me. ‘Please come in! I don’t know how! Can’t open it! Please! Please!’
As I watched Angela’s frightened, tearstained face from the other side of the glass, a part of my mind in a very small voice told me I’d made a stupid mistake. I had not told her how to open the glass door. I pressed myself up against the glass door and stared hard into her swollen, red-rimmed eyes.
‘Imagine it open! ... Angela! ... Imagine it open! ... It’s easy! ... Imagine it open! ... No door! ... No door! ... Imagine it open! ... No door! ... I’m ... already inside! ... I’m Inside! ... Now I’m inside! ... See me there! ... See me there! ... With you now! ... With you now! ... With you now! ... With you now!’ I thought and imaged so very strongly to her as I did exactly the same thing in the very depths of my strongest imaginings.
Then suddenly, it happened. I was there. Through the glass door which no longer appeared in my image at all. I was beside her. With her. Inside her mind. She threw her arms around me and hugged me like a lost father. I held her and squeezed her tightly.
‘I was .. so .. scared.’ She sobbed as she looked up at me with her face all stained from crying, her eyes red and swollen.
‘I’m sorry.’ I said. ’ I forgot to tell you how to open the door.’ I continued to hold her, and, she continued to cling to me as if she’d never let go.
I just held her. I could feel her heart pounding against my chest. So real! And I’m sure she could feel mine.
‘Everything’s okay now.’ I told her as I stroked her hair. ‘Everything’s fine and you’re safe. You’re safe now. You’re safe now.’
She just kept staring at me as she clung to me with a grip I could feel as her fingernails dug into my sides. Then, slowly, she began to relax. I could feel the grip of her hands and fingers begin to relax. Not totally, but slowly and steadily, as did my own arms around her loosen their protective hold on her trembling shoulders. I looked down again at her face and knew it was time to go. She’d had enough. There was a strong feeling of wrong inside me if I were to keep her there any longer on this occasion, the first time.
‘Angela.’ I said down to her very worried face. ’ It’s time to go now. This was just the first time. You can see ... you feel safe now ... And there’s nothing to be frightened of. Is there? Is there?’
Her gaze penetrated my soul as she stared at me and tightened her grip. Again I felt the blades of her fingernails digging into my sides. I smiled down at her and she relaxed her grip immediately.
‘Smile for me and see there is nothing to be afraid of. This is your own mind. You’re perfectly safe inside your own mind. You’ve allowed me to come and visit you inside your own mind. And I’m very grateful. I hope you invite me back again. This is your own mind and nothing can hurt you here. Nothing can hurt you here. This is your own mind and you can come back here anytime you want to. It’s perfectly safe here as you can see. Warm and safe. Inside your own mind. Warm and safe. Inside your own mind.’
I had heavily used the interspersal emphatic technique of speaking messages within messages. It never failed and I was very comfortable with the method, being my favourite for several years. But now I began to ease of and become a little more natural. I felt the tension go from her body as I continued to speak reassuringly to her. Then I again had the feeling it was time to go-to take her back-and myself as well.
‘It’s time to go now, Angela.’ I smiled comfortingly down at her, pleased to see her half smile as she gazed up at me. ‘Let’s go back to the elevator. It’s easy. Just imagine we’re in the elevator together and going up through all the levels from one hundred back up to level one, still in trance, but only a light one, at level one. Okay?’
‘Yes.’ She answered like a frightened child. She looked around to either side of her. I imagined the walls of the elevator.
‘See the walls of the elevator.’ I told her. ‘See the lights of the numbers as we travel back up to level one. Feel the lifting of the elevator. I’m still here with you till level one. Then I’ll go, but not far. And you’ll be able to talk to me. See and feel the elevator taking us back up to level one. Back up to level one.’
Her grip around my sides tightened a little as I imagined us riding up in the elevator together. I could feel the heat from her body as I held her still. And I could feel the sweat on my own body beneath my shirt. The red numbers I imagined flashed by us as we travelled back up to level one. When we reached level one I imagined the elevator stooping gently.
‘The elevator’s stopped now at level one, Angela. It’s stopped at level one. This is where I get out. I’ll meet you at the top. There’s a little thing I have to do. You’ll be safe and warm now. I’ll see you at the top. Okay?’
She looked up at me sadly, releasing her grip on me as she did so.
‘Really?’ She asked in a frightened voice.
I smiled at her. ‘Yes. Everything is fine now. You’re almost home, but I have to bring you home from your own mind properly, so you can come back again and never be frightened of your own mind, ever again. I will control the elevator from the outside and bring you up to the top floor. While you’re waiting you can relax and compose yourself. Feeling safe and warm, without a worry in the world. Okay?’
‘Okay.’ She answered slowly.
I imaged myself getting out of the elevator and watching the doors close. Then I imaged myself sitting back in my chair beside her. And then I felt it beneath my butt and my back. I opened my eyes slowly and was instantly shocked at what I saw.
Angela lay on the chair, which was in the fully reclined position. She lay on her side in the foetal position, her arms clasped loosely around her knees, which were drawn up into her chest. Her short, loose skirt had hitched itself high on her waist, revealing brief red underwear. Her hair was a mess, in complete disarray and her face was streaked with tearstains. Her eyes were swollen and puffy underneath. Angela, my very own little mule in total, looked a real mess.