Title: “Sweetness”
Author: Neicie
e-mail: neicie@neicie.org
Friday night
Signing in... come on, come on...
Yes!
“Good evening Sweetness. How’d your day go?”
Mmm! Even through headphones, he’s got the sexiest voice on the planet!
“It was OK,” I say, “but, I’m glad it is over.”
-’cause tomorrow’s Saturday and finally I get to meet Andy! OK... calm... act casual... acting casual...
“How was your day, handsome? Anything new and exciting?”
He’s chuckling and I can hear his smile. “It was a good day, but nothing ‘new’ or ‘exciting’. I worked a regular day and then had a few beers with my little brother. Now I’m here in voice-chat land with a lovely lady. So, all is good in my universe.”
Swoon! “Sounds like a nice day.”
I’m grinning like an idiot. I can feel it, my cheeks hurt. “Are we still on for lunch tomorrow?”
Please say yes... Please say yes... Please say yes...
“Quieten”
“Your body is relaxing... your conscious mind is rolling over, just rolling over in bed and your subconscious mind is listening to me... Your conscious mind is sleepy and happy and does not need to do any work. Your subconscious is listening... let your subconscious listen.
“Tell me Sweetness, can you hear me?”
”yes”
“Good, that is very good. Tell me, do you know your name?”
”sweetness”
“That is what I call you, yes, but it isn’t your name. What is your name? Can you tell it to me?”
”mnn ne, I uh... no”
“OK, that’s OK. You can stop trying. I’m sure you will remember it later... Right now I want to review a few things...”
listening... remembering...
“Excellent Sweetness. You remember all your triggers perfectly. You feel so happy and proud... so happy and so proud, right down to your toes.”
mmm ... happy toes...
“I’m going to count to five now, just like the last time and when you awaken, we will finish our chat as usual and you will not notice that there was a break in our conversation.
“One... Two... Three... Four... Five.”
“Sweetness, I am totally looking forward to lunch tomorrow. I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”
“Awesome! I’m so psyched about finally getting to meet the werewolf of my dreams... Yum!”
“Hehe... Werewolf of your dreams huh? What kinda dreams? Dirty dreams? Mmmm?”
“Ahhh! Maybe...”
“Woof.”
“Mmmmm... tease!”
“Tease? How am I a tease? Maybe I’m a real werewolf and I’ve just lulled you into a sense of false security so you would agree to meet me.”
“Right... I wish!” -I do, I really do.... mmm hot furry goodness...
“Be careful what you wish for, Sweetness.”
“If werewolves existed for real, I would totally be married to one. But since they don’t—”
“You don’t know that...”
“Since they DON”T, I will just have to settle for a sexy guy who plays a werewolf on-line.”
“Just have to settle? Poor little cowgirl, settling like that.”
He can’t see me pretending to fan myself, but I do it anyway. “Well, it’s a hardship, I know. But...sigh... I will just have to suck it up.”
“Mmmnnnn... you said ‘suck’.. geeeehheee”
“Gah! You’re awful!”
“You love it, admit it... you’re totally into my juvenile humor, makes you wet...”
“Lots of things make me wet.”
“Fur?”
“mmm... And other things!“ -like his voice...
“Teeth?”
“Grrrrrr... Yes, teeth... but not pubescent snickering!”
“How ‘bout sexually mature snickering?”
“Snickering in general, doesn’t really do-it for me. Sorry.”
-actually I’m feeling pretty turned on at the moment...
“But you love it when I do it, right—‘cause I’m the werewolf of your dreams?”
“Apparently.” Certain parts of me are obviously loving it... my nipples, for example...
“Why ‘apparently’... are you getting lathered up? You’re getting all foamy aren’t you?”
“Ah! Stop!” I’m blushing now!
“See... I knew you liked my snickering!”
“Fine, it’s cute. I like it. Oh my God!”
“And now, I can go to bed with a smile.”
“No! We just got on. It’s still early, don’t go to bed yet... Or better yet... tell me a bedtime story!”
“A bed time story? What kind of story do you want?”
“A... dirty one.... geehee...”
“Ha! Snickerer! Alright... Do you remember the relaxation thing I taught you?”
“Oh... Yup. The hypnosis thing!”
“Yes, but I’m not hypnotizing you... not really, just helping you to visualize the story better.”
“Will you hypnotize me?”
“Maaaaybe someday, if your real nice to me. Now! Get comfortable... I’m going to tell you a story about the beautiful princess and the stranger she met while riding. ...”
Saturday
Late again. Crap. This is the story of my life.
“Heya! It’s me. I’m leaving my place now, so I’m going to be about 10 minutes late.”
“Thats alright Sweetness, I have waited this long, I can wait 10 minutes more.”
There is a smile in his voice. It pleases me right down to my toes.
“I promise it will be worth the wait!” I tease.
“I have no doubt about that. Now get off the damned phone before you hit a school bus full of nuns!”
“Ack! No smushed nuns! I’ll see you soon, OK?”
“Definitely OK.” He adds a little smoochy sound and hangs up on me.
And... I’m here, uh- 8 minutes late. I wish I could have gotten here before him. I hope he got a booth.
Ok... last minute brain check... wallet... keys... cell... condoms... lipstick... tic-tacs... Alright! Let’s rock!
Oh Holy Mother of Fuck! He’s even hotter in person and he’s wearing Leather Pants! Wow. We haven’t even shaken hands yet and this is officially the best first date I have ever had. Cleavage don’t fail me now!
He’s standing and smiling. Man, he’s a big boy!
“Hi Andy! Oh my God it’s so nice to meet you, finally! I’m so sorry I’m late!”
“Lingua nil”
I wish I could hug him. I totally want to hug him.
“Hey there sleepy beauty.”
Hug score!
He is gently pulling me down into the booth...Oh good, he got a booth.
“You are much smaller in person. You’re so bubbly when we chat, I imagined you would be bigger. I guess I forgot how tiny 5′2″ is.”
-sitting right beside him. This is really nice! I feel so cozy and safe.
He’s smiling and looking down into my face. I know I’m smiling back. I feel like Dopey Dwarf!
“I really like your eyes. They’re such a light blue, and your skin is just as creamy and smooth as I thought it would be.”
I wish I could tell him how much I like his eyes. They are so dark and beautiful. And all his hair, it looks so soft... I wish I could touch it.
“I’m not mad about your being late” he says, “I wanted to be here before you. I already ordered.”
He’s not mad, good... and he ordered; that’s good too, ‘cause I sure as hell can’t—
Uh?
Wait... What? What the hell? I- I can’t talk. Why? What’s wrong with me? My mouth feels OK. My throat? What is- What? This is really weird. How did this—
Uh-oh... Oh no! The waiter is here! Remain calm. Breathe. Oh God... I feel dizzy! I think I’m blushing! Why am I blushing? I wish he would go away so I can figure this out. Does he know I can’t talk? Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed! I can’t even look at him!
I have to tell Andy this is... something. I don’t know; I’m confused! How can I talk to him if I can’t talk? I can’t tell him... uh? Tell him—Tell him what?
Why is the waiter still here? Gah!
Oh—Oh thank God, the waiter is leaving... much better ...that was crazy... and... I—I don’t know.
Why is Andy laughing? What the fuck? Is he doing this? I’m so going to pinch him!
“Ouch! Hey, no need to get violent, ya brat. Jeesh! You asked me to hypnotize you!”
Ah! Hypnotized? Seriously? Wow. That is... just ... mmm-WOW!
“Ah! Hehehe... You’re so adorable right now!”
-definitely not evil laughter... stupid giggle—snicker... unbelievable!
“So, now you know what a rotten sneaky man I am.”
Wink
Ah! Cheeky monkey! Damn! I should totally be mad about this. He better fix this. Oh my God, this is crazy... Sexy! Holy crap! I can’t believe it... he’s... ah... hmm... not smiling now.
“You, my Sweetness, should be more careful.”
pulling me in... wow, my head tucks perfectly under his chin.
I feel... little.
“If I were completely unscrupulous, you would be naked and hog-tied on the floor of my back seat right now.”
I weigh 122 lbs, you wouldn’t need to hypnotize me... but yes... point accepted.
“I’m not the nicest guy in the world, but I’m not evil. You’re lucky. Stupid and lucky... and very pretty.”
He is not whispering, his voice is too gravely for that. He is just talking very low. It’s almost like I can feel his voice; not really hear it.
“There are a lot of people in the world who would love to take advantage of a beautiful young woman like you. You trust too easily. You don’t do anything to protect your identity on-line. You let a stranger, Me, hypnotize you on-line... have you even thought about why it is you don’t feel afraid right now?”
uh... no.
why am I not afraid right now? I should totally be freaking out, right? But I’m not... Why?
-Wow.
“You let me in your head and I took your fear away... and your voice. I’ll give them both back to you, I promise... but you should realize that I don’t have to.
“If I didn’t respect or care for you, or if I was just some internet creep who liked hurting women, I would steal your free will just like I did your voice and your fear. But, as it is, I’m actually feeling your fear for you... It’s why I trust myself with your safety.
“I like you a lot and I think you like me a lot, too. At least, you smell like you like me a lot. So I’m giving myself permission to continue. I’m not asking you for permission. You already agreed to have lunch with me and this is what we are doing.
Pausing, letting go of me... feel cold now, in more ways than one.
“So, we will eat. I will talk and when lunch is over, I will allow you to leave and I won’t follow you. I won’t chase you. I won’t bite you. I won’t do anything to you that you don’t want me to do.”
Whoa... OK, so... I screwed up, but... he likes me and I’m safe. But... No. This what he told me to feel. How do I really feel? ... Safe... but I am not supposed to feel this way. I’m supposed to be afraid, be scared. He just told me I should be afraid... I should be! I’m—I’m nervous... but... but not scared. I’m frustrated.
Fuck. I wish I could enjoy this, I want to... but, I don’t think I’m supposed to.
Yeah, I have put myself in danger. Yeah, I was totally thinking with my vagina... I know. But Christ! I could get raped in the subway, or kidnapped leaving the grocery store! I just spent 4 months talking and chatting with this guy. That’s a long time! I’d be less safe if I just met him at a fucking bible study!
“You’re squeaking.”
what?
“Squeaking; making all these tiny squeaky sounds. I kinda think it’s cute.”
Ummm... ah. Cute? Er...no... I’m crazy. Apparently! I must be because I’m sitting here, moistening up to an obviously dangerous man who is—Uh?
...feeding me.
French baguette with cheese. He’s holding it in front of my mouth... waiting...
“Limited time offer, my love...”
What? Ok... Well...Do I trust him? ‘cause after I let him start feeding me I’m sorta gonna be committed to my fate here.
“Warm cheesy goodness...”
I could just get up and leave, even though I don’t want to, I could... I know it. I’m not really trapped.
I’ve been fantasizing for months... went into this hoping to get fucked. Ha ha, ironic hmm...
and... ahhhhh I’m done- I’m done thinking about this... ‘fucked’ either way...
“Ah... the smile I’ve been waiting for. Good.”
...good.
My lips are at his finger tips. Closing my eyes... lips just brushing his fingers... oooh...
Mmmm.... so good! Salty and creamy... mmm... I love it! I want more.
He’s smiling at me, really big and toothy... Oh man, I feel really weird, horny... I can’t believe how much I’m loving this! Mmmm more cheese...
The bread is hard and rough and the cheese is dripping off of it. I think I have some on my chin and it’s all over his fingers... I could totally lick them off! mmm
“Sweetness, I am so glad you’ve decided to enjoy this.” sighing, “For a minute I was sure I had made a mistake. Now? No way. You’re perfect.”
Perfect? Right! I’m having a food-gasm over some hot cheese. And I’m letting some guy, I’m lathered up over, hypnotize me against my will. And enjoying it. Wow.
Rye bread now... dry and bitter. Good though...
“I’m going to talk as we eat. You don’t have to do any of the work though. I’ve been pushy enough; the least I can do is feed you.”
Baguette and cheese again...
“Drink?”
He’s holding my cup and positioning the straw between my lips...and smiling...
Girls drinking from straws... that’s not going over my head... I know an innuendo when I feel it slipping into my mouth.
“Your supposed to suck on it... special liquid comes out.”
Ah! Bastard! Ha! I was so going to tongue it... he ruined my timing... now I have to wait to drink because I’m giggling...
“Hehehe. Just wait til we get to the meat!”
Squirm... mmmmeat! I love meat!