Master PC: Wing Girls
Shepherding a Loser: Kari Krijek
“Start with—” The musical strains of Everything I do were barely audible over the blaring beat of dance music, but Trish’s response said everything. Her boyfriend never called at work. That was one of the rules. Trish had a lot of rules. It amazed me that she had a boyfriend.
“Excuse me,” she said, politely for someone who was about to gut a man. The phone, same as mine but one version back, was out, answered, and at her ear in a flash. She stuck a finger in her left ear and shouted, “Patricia Yates.”
From there the one-sided conversation went awry. Dave must have struck first and knocked Trish off balance. Probably the only way to deal with her, I guess. Maybe they were into hot make-up sex or something.
“Yes.”
“What?”
“Fuck you!”
“Calm down? No. I’m not going to calm down. This is something you should have balls to say to my face.”
“I’ll be there in ten. No make it fifteen.”
Trish did the new millennium equivalent of slamming down the phone: Slapping the touch screen silent. “Fucker!”
She spun on Steph and for a moment I thought she would take her anger out on the easy target, but Trish got unpredictable when she was pissed. “Congratulations Steph, graduation.” Her head snapped over and it was my turn. “Kari, run things until I get back. This won’t take long. This better fucking not take long.”
Easy as cake. Find a girl for the client. That big a loser would settle for anything, but who would settle for him? That made for a good puzzle. Regardless, I nodded and fixed Trish with a steely glare of my own. “I can do it.”
I could. Matching people was just a psychology game. I was good at psychology. I had a Masters in it. I know how people think, and add that to the way Trish treated people, I’d be running this show in another two months, tops. Trish was my best friend since forever, but this was business.
Trish didn’t even respond. She stomped off before I could finish. I leaned over and whispered to Stephanie, “Dave’s a dead man.”
She nodded, then frowned. “How d’you know it’s Dave?”
“Who else could set her off that fast?”
“Uhhhh... Like, her dad?”
That he could. “Sergeant Major Yates would not have a Bryan Adams ring tone.”
“Yah. He’d be something like the Colonel Bogey March.”
I looked her over again. Sometimes Steph knew too much to be the airhead she portrayed. I hate it when people try to play games with me, but I kept coming back to the same point. Steph was a culturally aware airhead. An airhead savant. Maybe it was all the ballet and classical dance she took while I was leading cheers. I had a lot of catching up to do on that front once I decided I’d get further using my brain for a living.
Steph picked the opposite and stayed an airhead. She’d be the classic tits-for-brains bimbo if she had tits. But she knew her classics and I was still working my way up from boy bands and dating a bass-playing surfer dude. Culturally a step down from that History postgrad I dated before him, whatever his name was. A highschool teacher for the rest of his life, if he got that lucky.
I checked out Sid. There was potential there. University educated, I knew that from the real client, his uncle. This was a graduation gift bestowed on a gormless nerd by a filthy rich relative. Unmarried relative.
Ha! Hardly! The guy was in his fifties. And hard-core creepy. The woman with him made Steph look like Einstein. Not my scene.
But Sid... he was in line for some serious inheritance. And a completely different sort of clueless from Steph. He looked and talked smart as hell, but he actually drank up the mindless swill Trish fed him, staring at her boobs the whole time. A little skin and I could work wonders moulding him. If I played my cards right, I could end up with a lot more than...
Oh what the Hell! He’s in his mid twenties and just graduating university? No amount of his uncle’s money could make up for that. Playing Pygmalion was a serious rush, but only with someone worth the time spent on the remaking.
And Sid... the sooner I dumped the guy on someone equally pathetic, the better. I looked Stephanie over again. Wouldn’t it be funny if...? I bet I could....
Not in one sitting, of course, but Nerd and Model.... Now how do I keep them together long enough for Steph to think they are in love? Craig. He gets along with everybody. Get Craig to guide Sid, Jim goes along for the ride and Stephanie.... Now that had a lot of potential for fun.