Title: Affection Multiplier App: The Boyfriend
By: BreaktheBar
Chapter 174
“We’re good,” I said, answering Wanda.
“Robbie, you can do better than that,” Wanda said. We were still standing there on the top deck, our fingers folding together as we held hands. “I know that you two aren’t breaking up and that you’re probably still getting married since you call each other your fiance’s still. And I know it hasn’t even been a week, but have you forgiven her?”
“I’ve… accepted her apologies,” I said. “I’m working on real forgiveness, and I don’t want to just say it without meaning it because that would be worse.”
“What about sex?” she asked. “Last night she was involved, but you two barely touched each other.”
I took a breath and turned us so that I could lean back on the hot tub. “That’s more complicated,” I said. “We’ve been intimate, but not full on.”
“But you’ve been sexual with me, Becca, Cattie and Leia,” she said. “Plus lots of other stuff with a bunch of the other girls. Ami?”
“That’s for Ami to tell,” I said.
“So partially,” Wanda read me. “So sex with four other women, which I know she is wanting you to do so I’m not blaming you or anything, and other stuff with others. And you’re saying I Love You to at least me and Cattie. Becca?”
I nodded. “She hasn’t said it back.”
“She will,” Wanda sighed. “Leia?”
I shook my head.
“But getting there?”
“Probably,” I said.
“Ami?”
“Yeah.”
“Robbie, your fiancee needs you,” Wanda said.
“We’re taking our time to figure that out,” I said.
“Robbie,” she said again. “Cassidy needs you. She is making all of these big gestures, and yes she isn’t exactly suffering with them since she’s a horny bisexual, but she’s making them all over the place. She knows you love her, but I think she needs to feel it.”
I closed my eyes and hung my head a little, trying to think of where I was at.
“She’s the love of your life, Robbie,” Wanda said. “Are you doing this because you’re not ready, or are you holding out because you still want to punish her? There isn’t a wrong answer, but you need to know what it is.”
“Fuck,” I sighed. I wasn’t sure.
“It’s the second one,” Wanda said. “You know it is. You won’t be able to figure out what to do without admitting it.”
“It is,” I said. “I’m holding out because I’m still fucking mad.”
Wanda released my hands and wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly and whispering to me. “It’s OK to be mad. It’s OK to feel fucking furious with her for all the shit she did back then. But neither of you are going to be OK until you can be OK with feeling that for a bit.”
I hugged her back, feeling her body against mine. “How are you so good at this?” I asked.
“Because I’m furious at Brody, and I don’t know if I’m going to get over it,” she whispered.
I held her, and she started crying, and then I started crying. We weren’t loud about it, weren’t sobbing. We held each other and let ourselves just feel the dark things that were clutching at us.
“I love you,” she said, burying her face into the crook of my neck.
“I love you, too,” I said, holding her sides tightly.
“What are you going to do about Cassidy?” she asked.
“When she first told me, she asked if I wanted to hate-fuck her. I don’t think it’s like that, but I do think we need to reconnect. Make-up sex, even if it won’t be all the way made up,” I said.
I could feel those cheeks of hers tighten as she smiled. “It can take more than one round, and more than one night, to get there. As long as you are getting there.”
“What about you? I don’t know what’s going on with you and Brody,” I said.
She sniffed. “Do you want to know?”
“I want to know what you want me to know,” I said. “I want to be able to support you like you’re supporting me. Me loving you isn’t just because of the sex.”
She looked into my eyes, hers still somewhat brimming with tears, and then hugged me again as she rested her forehead on my shoulder. “I think my husband is a cuckold,” she said quietly. “And that’s not the kind of man I wanted to be married to.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I- You know we have an open travel sex policy,” Wanda said. “And I’ve flirted and fooled around a little bit with some kissing, but I kind of fibbed that first night with you and Cass. I’ve never gone as far as that before, let alone where we’re at now. Well, I knew Brody was doing things on his trips. I just didn’t realize he was going to BDSM clubs. I thought it was weird how into hearing about our first encounter he was, and when I tried talking to him this morning he was even more into it, which was weird to me because I was feeling guilty about not just participating in the sex, but about the kink stuff. The ownership-play stuff, and falling in love with you and Cass. And so I started asking some questions I knew I didn’t want the answer to, and I- Brody isn’t the man I thought I married. I don’t want to shame him for whatever he’s getting out of it, but I don’t know how I feel about him hiding this from me either. I- He should have told me that this was what he wanted, and I could have made an informed decision about our relationship. Now…”
“Now everything feels different,” I said quietly.
She nodded. “I look back at things, and choices we made as a couple. Did he push to live in a certain neighbourhood for a reason? Did he take certain jobs for a reason? Did I give up things so that he would have a chance to visit some famous sex club? Does he even love me, or just the fact that I have a hundred thousand followers on the internet that want me?”
“I’m so sorry, Wanda,” I said quietly, holding her tightly.
“Robbie, I want to feel owned and treasured, and he wants me to be a hotwife slut,” she sobbed. “This is why he was never able to do the things I asked, because he wanted to watch someone else do it to me instead.”
I just held her. What could I say?
Oh, right. There was one thing I could say.
“Wanda, I love you,” I said quietly. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you. So is Cassidy.”
“I know,” she said, raising her face and kissing me softly even while she was still crying silent tears. “I think that’s the only reason I could hold it together today. I love you, too.”
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