Title: Affection Multiplier App: The Boyfriend
By: BreaktheBar
Chapter 192
“So, Wanda and Terra are both going through some stuff,” I said, trying to find the right way to explain things to Cattie. “They wanted some female perspective on things, and are talking with Cassidy, Becca and Heels.”
“Oh,” Cattie said, her fingers stilling on my foot as she frowned slightly.
“Catherine,” I said, pulling my foot from her and sitting forward, taking her hands in mine. “Cassidy suggested bringing you in too, but the girls weren’t sure if you wanted to talk about your stuff going on or would feel pressured to do so if you weren’t ready.” It was a lie, but not much of one—I’d reworded Becca and Wanda’s feelings, not changed them.
Cattie sighed and nodded, running her thumbs along my palms as I held her hands. “I… get it,” she said. “From what I know of what’s going on, I maybe wouldn’t want me in the mix either.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“I know,” she whispered, then shook her head a little and took a deep breath. “It’s OK. Everything going on is awkward right now. I just- I need some space from Heather and some girl time would have been nice. Tiger Time is nice too, though.”
“Please don’t say ‘Tiger Time’ to Cassidy,” I chuckled. “It will catch on way too fast.”
Cattie snorted and nodded. “OK, Robbie.”
“Do you want to talk about your stuff?” I asked. “Or distraction?
“My gut says distraction, but my head says talk,” Cattie said. “And my heart… I don’t even know right now. I’m all fucked up.”
“That wasn’t much of an answer, Catherine,” I said.
“Talk,” she said more definitively. “I want to talk.”
“Here, or somewhere more private?” I asked.
Cattie looked around the top deck, which was still empty except for us. “Here is good,” she said. “Heather would freak if we went to one of the cabin’s together. Not that I would blame her for that. But here is fine.”
“OK,” I nodded.
Cattie looked down at her hands in mine, smiling softly, then let go and leaned back, motioning for me to raise my foot again. “If I’m going to emotionally vent on you, I might as well make up for it.”
I smirked and raised my foot to her and she took it in her lap, but then I leaned over and grabbed her opposite foot and pulled it up into mine. We started mutually rubbing each other’s feet and she quickly started mirroring whatever I was doing to her on me.
“So,” I said. “Where are you at?”
Cattie sighed and pressed her lips together. “Facts? I’m dating Heather. We’ve been together for almost three years. Our lives are pretty enmeshed. Things weren’t going great about six months ago until we got into some light Dom-sub play, and that refreshed things, but I got busy and started pulling away and not wanting the D/s stuff for a bit. This week was supposed to be us reconnecting. It… hasn’t happened that way.”
I just nodded, encouraging her to continue. I knew all of that already.
“After the way she acted on the first day, I was… annoyed. Even frustrated that I had to apologize to you and Cass for her. But I think I was so used to her being… I don’t even know what to call it. ‘She’s just like that’ isn’t a good enough excuse.” Cattie looked down and chewed on her lower lip for a moment. “I kind of wish I hadn’t asked her to come on the trip,” she said.
My heart hurt for her. “I’m so sorry, Cattie.”
“I know,” she smiled weakly. “And I know you’re not apologising as if it’s your fault. Even after… y’know.”
“Oh, I know,” I said, running my hands up to her ankle for a moment and then back to her sole. “You know I don’t want to be the break between you two, but that night was… It was really special.”
“Except for the part where Cass and I almost ruined it,” Cattie smirked a little.
“No, even that part,” I said. “It showed us who we were to each other, and led to the end of it.”
“That was really nice,” Cattie said softly. Then she shook her head. “But still. Heather has been… I just don’t know what to think of how she’s acted since that night. Before then, it was frustrating and annoying. Afterwards, though? It’s like—I get it. I understand why she would be demanding, or petty, or so off. I understand why she would be emotionally raw, and needy, or looking for little ways to let me know she’s still hurt even though she says she isn’t.”
It was my turn to take a deep breath, though I did it to keep myself from saying things I knew wouldn’t be helpful to her.
“So that’s where I am,” Cattie said. “She’s hurt and mad and raw but doesn’t want to admit it because she knows she caused the problem. But she keeps doing things that aren’t helping either of us actually get to the bottom of it. Not like you and Cassidy. Cass fucked up huge, but she’s… I’m sorry if this sounds bad, Robbie, but I think I love her even more because she’s trying so hard to make things right with you.”
“I know she is,” I said, thinking back to Cassidy’s breakdown pre-dawn in the washroom with Wanda.
“But you’re doing amazing, too,” Cattie said. “I mean, panic attacks aside, you’re really trying. You love her so much. You getting overwhelmed makes so much sense, and sometimes I can’t even fathom why you’re here on this trip after the way she told you, but… but I’m really happy you are.”
I nodded and looked down at her foot, tracing circles on top of it with my fingertip. “Part of me still wishes she hadn’t told me at all,” I said. “That we’d been able to just stay the way we were. But this whole thing has…” I had to take a breath to think of how to phrase what I was saying. “This whole thing is adding to our relationship in a lot of ways,” I ended up saying. “And it’s leading us to a lot more than just us.”
I looked up at Cattie, who was smiling sadly and nodding, her eyes brimming with tears.
“We really do love you, Cattie,” I said. “You’re Cassidy’s best friend, even with the Heather stuff. She’s so worried for you.”
“I know,” Cattie said so quietly she practically mouthed it.
I pulled my foot from her and set her’s down, then leaned forward and pulled her into a hug as we perched on the edges of our chairs.
“I love you guys too,” Cattie whispered as she pressed her face into the crook of my neck.
God, why did women around me keep crying, today? It was tearing at my heart to see them all feeling so conflicted.
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