Betsy Visits River City.
Once back outside Faeryfaye, Heroin and Rectum found a small cadre of heroes had returned. They were battered but had been medicked and had, despite medical advice, declared themselves fit enough. They all nodded at Faeryfaye’s two companions. Faeryfaye noted that.
“Listen,” said Faeryfaye before any sort of discussion could start. “Betsy has killed Stewart Herschel and has gained control of five bimbos. They follow her now.” Her two companions nodded at this news. The new heroes accepted it. “But she’s locked inside the castle on the lower levels. There’s an explosion proof steel door barring the way down and none of us can shift it. Can any of you try to get past that door?” She picked up one of her famous milk bars and started to chew on it. She knew the Pendleonians thought of her as the Milky Bar Kid and she revelled in the title. Milk bars were highly nutritious and, with her bespoke groupings of enchanted herbs at the very heart of the recipe, she knew her powers were returning at their fastest rate.
“I’ll try that door,” said a man in spandex. Faeryfaye couldn’t help but note his penis was on the large side. She wondered, but only for an instant. Her job was too important and time was of the essence. She wondered why this was the case every time, but that was unfair of her. Her job was very important and important jobs were time consuming. One day she would find her soul mate. She was certain of that.
“Thank you,” she said as he moved off, following Rectum to the door that barred the way. Faeryfaye watched him go with interest. His arse had that certain je ne sais quoi, if you know what I mean. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked round to a close up of Heroin’s bloodshot eyes and smelly breath.
“Don’t bother sister,” she said. “He follows a different path, if you know what I mean.”
Faeryfaye looked quizzically at her new smelly friend. “What?” she asked.
Heroin looked exasperated, as did Faeryfaye’s normal colleagues when they were together. Faeryfaye was used to this expression.
“He’s gay sister. He doesn’t fancy you.”
Faeryfaye’s eyes opened wide when understanding arrived.