Dick Picture Perfect
Chapter 3
Redsliver
* * *Adelaide and I rushed to the washroom to wipe down any bits that were goopy and slick. We zipped out and stuffed ourselves into underwear. I grabbed my pants. Adelaide was spinning her bra around her waist and dragging it up to cover herself. Sherry reclined and advertised her sexy nudity. That’s when the knock came at my door.
“Shit, I was hoping she’d just walk in.” Sherry started laughing. “C’mon in!”
“Give us a second!” I countered Sherry’s beckoning. Adelaide hid from the bedroom door and out of view of the closed apartment door. I grabbed a shirt from the top of the hamper. I closed the door on the girls. I was still sockless when I reached the front door.
“Hey, your fly’s down.” Talsy commented when I opened the door. Talsy was the last of the roommates that were her, Raylea, and Sherry. Talsy was clearly an artificial redhead. There was a near purple tint to her thick waist length hair. She was tan with freckles on her nose. Her icy blue eyes matched her grumpy frown. She stuck her head around me. “Where’s Sherry?”
“Bedroom.” I threw my left thumb. I blushed. Talsy smirked and rolled her eyes.
Raylea had set the two of us up. Talsy had no time for the small stuff. There was no get-to-know-you date. We went from friends of friends to power couple right out of the gate. Then we got to know each other. Talsy and I were gasoline and matches. You know, except for the fact that gas and matches results in heat.
“Well she’s a grown woman, she can make her own terrible mistakes.” Talsy shook her head. She eventually raised an eyebrow.
“Sorry.” I murmured and stepped back from the door so she could enter. My bedroom door opened. I enjoyed watching Talsy’s face. A sheepish looking Adelaide came out with just been fucked hair. She gave a little wave. Sherry, fully naked, slapped Adelaide’s butt and stode to the washroom. Talsy turned on me.
“Pig.” She sneered.
“Why did you come by?” I asked.
“Ray’s twisted and Sherry said she knew why.” Talsy shrugged. I shook my head and stepped over to take Adelaide’s hand.
“Adelaide, this is Talsy. Sherry’s roommate.” I explained. “Talsy, Adelaide.”
“And she is?” Talsy asked.
“Um, I, uh… Hi.” Adelaide squeezed my fingers. I smiled. She lifted her shoulders a little taller. “I’m a waitress down at The Princess Margaret Pub. Will and me are, I mean I think we are, going to, uh, go out.”
“Riveting!” Talsy scowled.
“You’re in a sour mood.” I said to Talsy. “I’m going to get a drink. What do you guys want?”
“What do you have?” Talsy asked.
“Coke, tap water, tea, or whiskey.” I shrugged. “Or any combination thereof.”
“Oh, the old tea and coke. Classy.” Talsy tutted.
“Water’s fine.” Adelaide hurried. “You don’t have to go out of your way putting on a kettle for tea.”
“I want tea.” Talsy interjected. She gave a smile to Adelaide. “Sometimes he has to go out of his way. That’s how you know that you’re worth it to him.”
Sherry strutted out of the washroom. She stretched, perky tits on display, she grinned at Talsy.
“Just grab me a coke, Will.” Sherry flopped down on the couch. “Raylea still at home?”
“She was when I left. Go put your clothes on.” Talsy demanded. I was filling the kettle. Adelaide came over to me. The roommates started to bicker. “What the hell is going on?”
“Why are these girls coming over?” Adelaide asked she grabbed a glass out of the cupboard on my left. “Maybe we could ditch them? My sister’s out, we could go to my place.”
“I have to get them out of my apartment first.” I smirked. “You don’t want to leave a girl your ditching alone with your stuff.”
“I know what the picture was. You labeled it ‘Check out Will’s DICK!!’” Talsy stood with her arms crossed. “That’s why I didn’t open it.”
“Oh, thank God.” I murmured to Adelaide. The waitress looked askance. I forced a contrite smile. “I was drunk and stupid. I know I apologized in text, but seriously, that was uncool.”
“No, no, I get it. I mean I got it. I, uh, it was really nice.” Adelaide recapped the pop bottle and put it back in the kitchen. She took Sherry the glass. The naked girl whistled at Adelaide.
“His cock? Really nice?” Talsy sighed. “God, no.”
“Yeah, no it was great. Show her.” Sherry waggled her fingers my way.
“I’m not going to whip my dick out.” I assured Talsy and Adelaide. Adelaide seemed a little disappointed.
“Thank you, Will.” Talsy was sincere. “I mean, I can’t imagine Will’s dick is what made Raylea go double secret batshit. Besides, this whole get drunk and text his dick at people is why I called off everything.”
“I did apologize for being that jerk.” I noted.
“You did. That’s why I—Please, Sherry, go get your clothes!”
“I was told you have to be this naked to fuck,” Sherry declared. “Not gonna miss an opportunity like that. ’Sides, it’s not like I don’t hang around our place freeballing.”
“Um?” I think I was more taken in by Sherry’s word choice than the idea of naked time with Ray and Tal.
“Fuck…” Talsy gave me a hard look. “Look, maybe I should just tell Raylea you guys are being crazy here. Get my place to myself.”
“Please don’t.” I said. I sat down next to Sherry. She curled up on my elbow. Adelaide rushed over and took my other arm. I had to thrust Sherry and myself across the cushions to make room. My kettle started whistling. I got up. Sherry fell into Adelaide’s lap.
“OK, but, bah… No stay seated. I’ll give him a hand.” Talsy pushed Adelaide back into the couch with a tap to the forehead. She followed me to the kitchenette by the window.
“Cups are in the corner.” I directed her. She looked less impressed as I dropped dropped a trio of teabags in the kettle and took it off its heating mount. “We’re still going to need to give it a few minutes to diffuse.”
“Right.” Talsy flumped against the lip of the kitchen counter.
“You OK?” I asked.
“What?”
“You and Ike, that kinda ended.” I pointed out.
“Oh, not really. It’s only been a couple of weeks, yeah? Honestly, I kinda wish I could be free like Sherry.”
“Let me change the sheets first.” I grinned. She was popping open cupboards. Looking for snacks.
“Yeah, no. But thanks.” She said with dripping distaste and sincere gratitude. “Group sex is not something I have in the cards.”
“Oh, well there’d be four of us, we could have team sex.” I pulled out a jar of peanut butter and reached over her for a box of crackers. “What d’you say? Ravenclaws take the Hufflepuffs?”
“Jesus!” She couldn’t help but smile. “C’mon, pour the cups and I’ll go see if there’s anything anyone can get out of Sherry.”
“I’m guessing you go home frustrated.” I said. I filled the third cup. She spread the crunchy over the last cracker.
“One frustrated girl out of three,” Talsy laughed. “Better than I expected out of you.”
“Thanks jerk.” I said.
“She won’t get off.” Adelaide had Sherry’s shoulders across her legs. Sherry’s coke was full because she chose to be in the way over being able to drink.
“I will in a bit, let me have a bit of a breather, God.”
“Oh, OK.” Adelaide mumbled.
“Are you two OK?” I asked them. I put Adelaide’s cup ahead of her. She was loathe to pick it up and risk dripping hot beverage over Sherry. The falling cracker crumbs were worth the risk.
“I am fantastic! Did you show Talsy yet or is she still a lady?” Sherry beamed.
“What does that even mean?” Talsy asked. I reached for my belt. “Oh. Sherry, no!”
“Boo! Boo! What do you think Addie, do we show her?”
“Adelaide, uh, please.” The waitress smirked at me.
“Fine, Adelaide. What do we do?” Sherry asked.
“I think she’s not going, uh, to understand if she doesn’t see.” She clenched her teeth to keep from speaking another filler after the first uh. Talsy and I were sitting, on the floor, in front of the couch. I squeezed Adelaide’s foot.
“I’m not going—”
Talsy squeezed my shoulder in thanks. Sherry growled a rumbling grumble. She kicked off the couch and walked into my room.
“Put on some clothes, please!” Talsy said. She looked at me. “Y’know. I kinda think me and Ike, Raylea and Felix, you and Sherry. That’s Ray’s dreamworld.”
“What about me?” Adelaide asked.
“We didn’t know you.” Talsy brushed her hair back. “Will’s decent, when he’s got time to think ahead of his dick.”
“Ah, I like you too.” I squeezed Talsy’s shoulders. Sherry swaggered out. She was wearing socks.
“See, I can do what I’m told.” She beamed. She had her phone in her left hand. She walked over Talsy. Adelaide pulled her feet up and sat in the lotus position, I think to make a less accessible lap.
“Woosh!” Sherry grinned and swung her phone in front of Talsy’s face. The screen blacked just as it pulled into view. “Fucking gophershits…”
“Gopher’s new.” Talsy explained to me.
“Here, dumbtits.” Sherry swung the image of my dick pic in front of Talsy’s face. Catching her the moment she turned back from me.
“Huh.” Talsy frowned. “This… Huh…”
“Right?” Adelaide asked. Sherry sat next to the waitress. She glugged her pop.
“What?” I wondered. Talsy had her ankle in her hand and was rubbing it hard. Her teeth bumped and clattered. She slowly turned to me. She thought for a second. She looked to Adelaide.
“Um, see?” The waitress asked.
“Yeah.” Talsy nodded. I watched. I could see the change but I needed her to state it. What the hell had I done?
“The bed still wet?” She worried.
“Sure,” Sherry nodded and bumped her butt. “This is the boys’ old college couch.”
“It pulls out.” I explained to Adelaide. She beamed at that.
“And promise you will too.” Talsy climbed to her feet. She grabbed the hem of her sweater.
If Sherry was too short and Adelaide was too tall, Talsy was juuust right. If Sherry was too dark and Adelaide was too fair, Talsy was juuust right. If Sherry was too flat and Adelaide was too busty, Talsy was juuust right. I was awestruck as Goldilocks unhitched her bra and tossed it on my Xbox. Just a metaphor, all of their breasts were juuust right. We all agree that means high, firm, and accessible. Good. Motion carried.
“Alright, time out.” I said and climbed to my feet. I was grinning like the cat who got the canary. I was going to need a blonde. Oh God, not Raylea though. Adelaide let me take her hand. “Sherry, the dick pic if you will.”
“Vain much?” She laughed and handed over her unlocked phone. It was just the juvenile picture I remembered.
“You saw this and full 180 on how you felt walking in here?” I asked the topless redhead.
“That is weird.” She agreed. “Am I getting laid?”
I looked at Adelaide.
“What? Why are you looking at me like t-that?” The waitress set her jaw as she asked.
“These two, they’re hot, they’re friends. I wanted something more with you.” I told her.
“Oh, thank God!” Talsy rolled her shoulders back and cheered. “Cause I’m thinking rebound fuck.”
“Friends with benefits.” Sherry interjected. “But way more benefits than one threesome.”
“I kinda want to stop dating new guys and find the guy that I get old with.” Adelaide said. She frowned. She looked at Sherry and Talsy. “I, um, I suppose if that, you know, they’re not in the, uh, way of that… I don’t mind.”
I tapped my chin with the phone as I thought. What did I want? Besides sex. All of them was a good start. How the thing worked? What could my dick do? It was finally living up to the hype.
I had had big expectations of The Sex since we teamed up for daily meetings near the end of grade five. I smirked.
“Well my beneficial friend and rebound girl,” I said. “The pullout bed was heavy and the mattress was old. We ditched the insides of the last mood. There’s spare bedclothes in my bedroom closet. Adelaide and I will join you once it’s made up.”
“I’m thinking one at a time, buddy.” Talsy frowned. “Or, at least, not with Sherry.”
“Need a better for either way, yeah?” I pointed out.
“Oh, don’t let her get away with that shit. I’ve been sharing a place with her since I moved into the dorms and it’s finally the day I get to put a finger in her butt.” Sherry cheered.
“The fuck you do!” Talsy scowled. She headed off after Sherry. I closed the bedroom door behind them. Adelaide put her empty coffee mug on the couch’s side table. I sat down next to her.
“You saw that work right? On Talsy?” I asked.
“I felt it on me. I mean. The thinking of you text was sweet, but not at three in the morning.” She leaned her head on my shoulder. “Waking up again for another message had made me angry and grumpy. Then I got it. Thank you.”
“Huh… Be my guinea pig?” I frowned at her.
“Is there a better choice in pet name? Honey and sweetheart are a bit overdone.”
“Lab Rat? Frankenstein?” I was pointing out that I was asking a different question than she was answering.
“Oh, no then.” She shook her head. “I’ll be your Igor though. What do you need to know?”
“How well my dick pictures work now?” I asked.
“So what? You want me to take another picture?” She smiled. I grinned.
“OK, that’ll be phase one.” I grinned.
“Then just call me your Igor.” She said as I stood up and slid my pants down. She took my phone. I started stroking myself to get it hard. Talsy stalked out of the bedroom door. She carried the soiled bedsheets in a basket with the rest of my clothes.
“Oh you fucking sneaky little shits!” Talsy grumbled. “Look, OK, I do have all day. Sherry’s got work at five.”
“I gotta be at the restaurant and clocked in for six.” Adelaide said, “If—if you still want me to keep working, um, or—”
“Do you like the job?” I asked, a little shocked by her lowered eyes.
“Um, I guess I do.” She frowned. “I like the people and I like the money.”
“I’m stuck in a lease with Raylea and Sherry,” Talsy interjected. “You want more of this live-in housekeeper shit, you probably should wait until I don’t have eight grand of unavoidable bills ahead of me.”
“Housekeeper shit?” I frowned. She had dropped the laundry basket on the floor by the couch. She picked up her bra.
“I just found out that you’ve only got these two for another four hours or so.” She gestured to Sherry who was walking by the door with new sheets to the bed. “I don’t mind waiting to tag in until they’re at work.”
“You’re, um, the picture, Will?” Adelaide said as Talsy hooked her bra closed in front of her belly button and spun the thing around to pull it up around her breasts.
“Hey, Talsy, we’re doing a science. Get me hard?” I asked.
“A science!” She scoffed sarcastically. She walked over with a smile. She took my cock in her hands and jacked me hard with her left while the palm of her right sat on the top and rubbed in circles.
“Dudes!” Sherry grumped from my bedroom door. “If we’re going to do it on the casting couch, what’s with making the bed?”
“Talsy, step back out of frame now.” I pushed her shoulders back. Adelaide took one in landscape and the other in portrait. She frowned to look back at both of them.
“What?” I asked.
“They’re not the same.” Adelaide sounded like she had failed. Talsy looked down.
“Yeah, these are just kind of…” Talsy agreed with a dismissive gesture.
“Except you’ve already bought into the good pic, right?” I tapped my foot thinking. Dammit, there was only one stupid way. “We’re going to have to send them?”
“To who?” Sherry tutted. “We are all the girls you know.”
“But we’re not all of the girls we know.” Talsy pointed out.
“And I know other women!” I rebuffed Sherry’s put down.
“Oh, um, am I going to, uh, nevermind.” Adelaide shut up. I frowned.
“I work with Jess and Lid from work.” I thought. Goddammit. I had just dug myself a hole. We’d need to—”
“No, you want to send one the picture from last night.” Talsy said to Adelaide. “Jessenia was the test case and now that makes Lidia the control case.”
“OK, that, uh, makes sense.” Adelaide’s fingers moved. I stared at her in disbelief. “They’re all sent.”
“Bed’s made too.” Sherry cheered. “Why are you putting your top back on Talsy?”
“I figured I could take care of—” She kicked the laundry basket. “I’ll take my turn later.”
“That’s really, uh, sweet of you to give me, uh, us the time.” Adelaide tried to thank Talsy.
“Bullshit!” Sherry steamrolled the waitress’s words. “Now get your pretty ass in gear and come wreck these new sheets and you can play hot little maid later.”
“Look, I’m not that kind of girl.” Talsy said. “I mean, I’m the kind of girl who is gonna fuck you, Will. Sure. And I’m the kind of girl... who is gonna do it while her friend... and your girlfriend... know that…”
“See you’re a slut! Hooray! Tits out and bottoms off ladies! Time to be tramps!” Sherry giggled at that.
“I’m, uh, not a slut… Am I?” Adelaide worried.
“No, clearly I’m the slut.” I pointed to the other girls besides Adelaide and me. “Can you put up with that?”
“Um, I, um.” She put her face in her hands but she went into them smiling. “I don’t know, uh, or I don’t think I’ve ever known guys like you. This, uh, this is an adventure. Will you like me if I’m adventurous?”
“I’ll like you if you’re Adelaide.” I said as a promise.
“Then I better get my tits out and my, uh, bottoms off.”
“You heard her Talsy. Be adventurous.” Sherry declared.
“OK, but you try and put a finger up my butt, I’m putting a fist up yours.” Talsy glared at Sherry. Sherry put her hand on her hip. Her smug naked form was delightful. Talsy paled. “Christ, I think she’d like that.”
* * *