Surviving the haunted theme park required paying close attention to one’s surroundings, a healthy sense of humor, and luck, lots of luck. Most of the attractions were janky and poorly designed, and the traps within didn’t fare any better. While surprises were aplenty, only a few qualified as downright scary, but it was often the impossible bullshit that won the day.
Of the twenty contestants that had entered Friday’s competition, only one remained in play. His name was James Randall, a twenty-five-year-old horror movie nerd that could quote every single line of The Exorcist by heart among other useless trivia. He had come to the park with his wannabe girlfriend—Natalie—looking for the elusive $10.000 prize, and it was his for the taking, just as long as he cleared one more maze.
Natalie had been the first to tap out after being caught in the endless stream of a blood-spewing shower. Other participants were lucky enough to escape such a humiliating display, but none could laugh all the way to the bank. Zombie heads, spike-filled trapdoors, and dolls with a terrible accent had had their fill, too.
James had been wandering around the final attraction for almost half an hour now. During that time, he had escaped rusty saws coming to life, crash test dummies with a giant wrench and even toy UFO’s with stroboscopic lights. It was quite the amalgamation, a combination of every possible horror trope imaginable mixed in with the absurd of low-budget expectations. All things considered, the park should be a massive failure, but the adverse publicity worked in its favor, and more and more people were flocking to it as the days went by.
The movie enthusiast dodged yet another ridiculous contraption and turned left on the poorly illuminated corridor. Up ahead, he glimpsed the goal and smiled. The money was as good as his now.
Picking up the pace, he shot forward, the wooden floorboards beneath his feet squeaking so loudly they seemed they were about to break. Just a few more meters and it was over, just a few more...
He stopped when he saw the disembodied floating woman with long braided hair and a black ceremonial gown float down from the ceiling. She had the same blue tint around her as all the other apparitions he had encountered before, but there was something different about it, somehow. He couldn’t pinpoint what it was, yet felt himself quite attracted to her mischievous grin and enormous jet-black eyes.
“Want to play?” She cooed. “If you can escape me, the prize is yours, but if you fail, you’re all mine...”
James scratched his head. Well, that was new! Previous shock events had been focused and self-contained affairs that were over almost as soon as they started, but this one was far more elaborate. It phased in and out of existence, giving him a false sense of security. He counted the seconds between each manifestation, her luscious smile continuing to call out to him.
“You’ll never win.” She said.
“We’ll see about that.” James suddenly leaped her way just as she was phasing out again. He ran past the mysterious figure and was about to cross the finish line when a ghastly hand wrapped around his shaft, pulling it backwards as if it were a lever. “Gotcha!” The ghost purred as he shook helplessly on the ground.
“Awww, you men are all alike. One touch in your cock and you’re immediately putty in our hands. I’m going to love this.”
Outside the exit area, Natalie shuddered when she saw her boyfriend’s consciousness melt away under the unrelenting masturbating ecstasy of the woman in black. He would bleed white for her soon enough. The park wins again.