Highway Patrol
Part III
‘14, 15… oh fuck’. I’m almost in tears as I feel the cool, night air blow against my bare asshole again. The first time I got the voice’s license and registration on, it basically gave me a wedgie seeing as it was a few sizes too small for me. After my first attempt at burpees though, I could feel the fabric loosening up a lot and it kept falling off.
After my 8th attempt at the voice’s instructions, I could barely get through two star jumps without having to start again. Good thing my rock hard cock was still going strong—there were lots of times the evidence was hanging way off my ass and dangling by the trunk of my shaft. At least I don’t have to worry about it sliding off my meat and getting blown off by the wind.
It had gotten quite dark after my phone call, and I’m a bit off the side of the road, so fortunately people haven’t noticed me on my mission. Of course, this idea is pretty genius and I have half a mind to show people how hard I’m working to keep them safe, but I’ve got some sensitive information hanging off my dick—information that could get civilians in trouble if they got caught up in it.
I’m drenched in sweat and getting a bit chilly by the time a car pulls up on the side of the road. It’s not a car I recognize, so I’m rattling my brain trying to think of a way to take control of the situation, while doing my star jumps and making sure I don’t lose this piece of evidence.
The headlights are shining straight at me so I can barely see anything, but I speak with the most authoritative voice I can muster. ‘This is official police business, there’s nothing to see here, move along.’ At least, I try to sound authoritative, but honestly I sound pretty pitiful since I’m out of breath and exhausted. I wait for their response, and you can cut the tension in the air with a knife. All you can hear is the soft wind blowing and the meaty thunk of my dick as it flops around in the breeze.
After what feels like an eternity, I hear a voice from within the car. ‘Hey, Dickhead, do you like my new ride?’
Oh, fuck. He’s here. And I’m only up to the first part of my task. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. In desperation, I start doing my star jumps in double time. I must’ve done all 20 in ten seconds flat, but it’s a bit of a struggle since I’m clenching my ass cheeks as hard as I can while I do them.
Next comes the burpees. As I go into the push up position, I realise I’d have to make a judgment call for the mission. I decide to use my left hand to give myself a wedgie while I do my burpees, and do the push-ups one handed. I focus on having perfect form so everything’s up to scratch.
I hear the door open as I do my last couple of burpees, and I sprint straight to my patrol car, plant my ass in the passenger’s seat, and start masturbating like there’s no tomorrow. I need to make up for lost time and hope I hadn’t missed any loose ends. My heart’s beating out of my chest as I see the punk from earlier, walking up to me with his phone out… Is he taking a video??
Before I could protest, he starts speaking. ‘Damn, you’re sweating like a pig. How long did you get stuck doing that? Look straight into the camera as you answer. Act like this is an official police report, but don’t stop jacking off—it is procedure, after all.’
No shit I know this is procedure. ‘Officer Dickhead Humpme, Status Report. Secured an important asset, and assessed and eliminated any security risks by storing it in a safe spot.’ At this point, I go spreadeagle for the camera to show the thong up my asscrack. ‘Secondary failsafes taken to prevent any accidental losses.’ I pull my hands off my cock and helicopter my dick to show how secure the evidence is. ‘Both methods tested with an hour and a half of vigorous attempts at dislodging said evidence in a controlled environment.’
‘Very impressive, officer. Now obviously, to end this report, you’re going to have to cum. When I snap my fingers, you’re going to have the strongest orgasm of your life. Try to get as much of your cum on your face and uniform for the video, kay?’
Snap. That’s the last thing I hear before my whole world goes black, and when I wake up, I feel like I’ve been drenched with a fucking hose. I must’ve been hornier than I thought.
‘Now give the camera a big smile and a wink. There we go. Love a good mindfucked cop. Hey, Dickhead, listen up.’
I look up at the voice, still with a goofy grin on my face when he snaps his fingers a second time. Suddenly, I realise what he just made me do. What the fuck. I look down and see my uniform soiled with cum and sweat, a loose neon pink thong on my dick instead of my uniform trousers. With horror, I realise exactly what I’ve been doing all day—eugh, I’ll never be able to look at a speed gun without gagging ever again.
I stare straight into the perp’s eyes with steely determination. ‘You’re under arrest, punk.’