The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

Humpme’s eyes have been glued to the tiny digital clock on his dashboard for what seems like forever. He’s never so much as had a finger up his ass before, but now, at the behest of a stranger, he’s been fucking himself silly with his speed gun for the better half of an hour. At least he wasn’t told to use the business end of the gun, that would’ve really hurt.

There was one thing he was grateful for though: he didn’t have to get out of his car for the rest of his shift so he could keep a low profile while he was fucking himself. If he had to do another car chase while riding his speed gun, he’d probably get in a crash. And what would happen when he actually walked up to the driver? Obviously, it’s imperative that he keeps fucking himself with the speed gun, and he’ll have to write all his reports one handed. Jeez, that would’ve been a nightmare. And incredibly humiliating—he’d never be able to live it down!

As the clock finally hits 5.00pm, his hands pauses mid-fuck and immediately scrambles for his phone. It’s in his trouser pocket which is bunched down around his ankles, which he desperately tries to pull out to make an urgent call. All he knows is his must call the number he’d dutifully memorised from his previous altercation—he just feels like that altercation isn’t fully done yet.

He waits patiently as the phone rings, but no one answers, and Humpme lets out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding. He’s incredibly exhausted and his shift’s done so he can leave all this for tomorrow. He just wants to radio in to the station and tell them he’s signing off.

After his call, he regains a bit of composure and starts pulling the speed gun out of his ass. He does it as gently as he can, but his hole is still pretty sore. He starts re-buttoning his trousers when he realises he’s still wearing the driver’s license and registration on his head. Well his shift is over so he’ll need to put that in safe keeping for tomorrow. He stows it safely in his glovebox with a silent whoop—he can’t wait to show this off at the office tomorrow

Speaking of the office, he picks up his radio to sign off for the end of the day. He hears the familiar static and starts off his report: ‘Hey, anyone there? Officer Dickhead Humpme reporting.’

Static screeches back as his colleague responds. ‘Haha bro what did you just say? I think I misheard you. Anyways, hit me up with the deetz and I’ll write it down on the report for you.’

Humpme forgot that Michael was manning the station tonight. Michael’s a bit of a dilettante and Humpme’s pretty sure that he’s on night duty because he kept failing all the fitness-based tests. If he loses a few pounds he’ll get to have some proper action, but I guess someone’s got to do the late night shift and the reports. But it is annoying when he has to repeat himself coz Michael isn’t paying attention.

‘Sup Mikey. Sorry I’m in a bit of a hurry, so please pay attention this time. Officer Dickhead Humpme reporting in, not a lot of—’

‘Yo I was paying attention the whole time, Danny boy, you’re the one who’s being weird. ‘Dickhead Humpme?’ What the fuck.’

Humpme suddenly remembers the badge he’s wearing—oh, Michael must have this patrol down for that other dude—Dante something. ‘Hey, watch your tone, newbie. Anyway, the wrong name must be signed up for this patrol—I picked up the wrong badge this morning, too. Do you mind just changing it to my name?’

‘Uhhhh whatever, yeah, allgood bro. How do you spell your last name again?’

Dickhead lets out a deep sigh, which he makes sure Mikey hears, and he starts ‘It’s spelled how it sounds, bro. H-U-M-P-M-E. Want my first name, too?’

Halfway through that sentence, Humpme hears his phone ringing in his cruiser. He picks it up without thinking, and puts it up to his ear. ‘Hey, Dickhead speaking.’

‘Pull off to the side of the road and listen closely to everything I have to say. It’s very important.’

Dickhead hasn’t moved from his original spot on the kerb, but he dutifully follows the voice’s instructions. He turns the engine on, pulls off further to the side, and stays silent. Mikey’s still spouting off from his radio but Dickhead ignores it—all he cares about right now is listening to the voice on his phone. It’s the most important thing happening at the moment.

‘Oh, shit, who the fuck is that? Is he another cop? Answer me honestly but don’t be suspicious.’

‘That’s Officer Michael Campbell. He’s radioing in from the station to get my report.’

‘Oh, ok. Hurry up and get rid of him then, you’ve got some important tasks and you’re really eager to hear them.’

Humpme’s suddenly filled with energy and enthusiasm again, pushing past his tiredness as he puts down the phone and picks up his radio. He interrupts Michael halfway through his tirade. ‘Shut up, Mikey, just listen closely okay. It’s Humpme, ‘H-U-M-P-M-E’, and first name’s Dickhead okay? ‘D-I-C-K-H-E-A-D’. Just a routine patrol today for the traffic stuff, but I got something really big after stopping some hotshot today.’

Mikey, thankfully, shuts up about my name and sounds genuinely interested, ‘Whoa, what’s the big find?’

Humpme could barely keep the excitement out of his voice, but he plays it cool so he can show off tomorrow. ‘Don’t worry about that, bro. I’ll keep that to myself for now. Report over, Dickhead out.’

He turns the radio volume down to zero and puts his phone on speaker to make sure he doesn’t miss anything the voice has to tell him. These tasks are very important after all and he’s really eager to hear them.

‘What the fuck did you just say about a big find? Fuck tell me exactly what you told that cop you dumbass.’

Humpme recounts his entire conversation, he focuses a bit more on the fact that he kept the big find cryptic so he could take it straight to the chief tomorrow, which alleviates the voice somewhat. Once Humpme starts talking about the fight they had about how to spell his name, the voice is in hysterics.

‘Oh man, and you literally spelled out your name to him? Haha that is fucking gold.’

This weird response to his name is starting to piss him off, and he’s about to give this kid a piece of his mind when he gets asked about his big find. Humpme very sheepishly and honestly tells him about the license and registration he picked up earlier, and the voice finally catches on to what’s happening—and starts roaring with laughter. Fuck, this dude’s pissing me off.

‘Why don’t you describe this big find to me again? And remember, you have to tell me the truth, so make sure you describe everything about it—looks, taste, smell, everything. Be as descriptive as possible, no description is off limits. Is it still on your face?’

I can still hear him giggling but I just soldier on with the information. ‘No, sir, but I’ve got it in front of me right now. It’s neon pink made of flimsy material, probably cotton, with a slight pungent taste and a musky aroma. Closer inspection reveals it to be acidic in nature—permission to speak out of turn?’

The kid manages to squeeze out ‘Granted, officer,’ between squeals of laughter.

‘It tastes a bit like my ex’s pussy when I eat her out. I don’t know why a formal document would have that flavour, but that’s something forensics can figure out. I’ll show this to the chief first thing tomorrow so we can get the FBI mobilised right away—it might be really important to the case.’

The reference to my ex’s pussy sends him off into hysterics again, and by the time I’m done speaking, it’s pretty obvious that I’m pissed.

‘Aw, Officer Dickhead, why so serious? I know what’ll cheer you up. I’m going to give you your first task AND the best fucking idea you’ve ever heard in your life. The moment you hear it, you’ll actually become so emotional and grateful for it that you’ll be close to tears. Make sure you listen to all of my instructions before you start though. You ready?’

Humpme’s nodding his head eagerly, too excited to even speak, but the voice doesn’t give a fuck and just keeps going.

‘What you need to do is rip your pants and underwear off your body ASAP, get out of your car, and chuck them as far onto the side of the road as you can. You don’t want to see them ever again! Then you’re going to wear your big find with pride—make sure the back of the license and registration is all the way up your asscrack.

‘You’ll make sure the asset is completely secure, so while you’re out there on the road, I want you to do some 20 jumping jacks and 20 burpees. If the license and registration falls out of your buttcrack even once you have to start again. Oh, and by the way, make sure your cock is out to the side the whole time—we don’t want you to stretch the elastic, do we officer?’

Humpme’s trying not to cry at this point, he’s just so unbelievably happy for this big break. ‘No, sir. Thank you so much, sir, you don’t know how much this means—’

‘Shut up, I’m not done. This’ll obviously get you incredibly fucking horny so your dick will be the hardest it’s ever been in your life. Once the asset has been completely secured, you’ll get back in your cruiser, passenger side, and start jacking yourself off like there’s no tomorrow—but this isnt’ for pleasure, this is to be sure there’s a pole holding those important documents in place.

‘I’ll be coming over in person to give you more information soon. Make sure the passenger side door is wide open so everyone can see while all this is going on—you want everyone to see what a good job you’ve done, and you want to be… available to me as soon as I get there.

‘Make sure the rest of your uniform is spic and span and up to standard. And oh, it goes without saying that you won’t be able to come until I’m physically there and I give you explicit orders. And make sure the asset is kept clean—use your uniform to wipe away any precum if necessary. Those precum stains will be a badge of honor. Got all that?’

‘Thank you so much, sir. Is there anything else you would like me to do? Please, sir, I owe you so much.’ Humpme looks expectantly at his phone and realises the voice had already hung up. Humpme feels like a jolt of lightning just went through his body—fuck, it’s showtime, this is what I’ve been training for my whole life. He wipes his eyes and some of his snot as he puts his game face on—and starts pawing at his trousers desperately.

As Humpme starts his humiliating set of tasks, the owner of the voice is seen lounging around a giant penthouse suite. He pours himself another drink, turns on the TV, and sinks back into his bed, trying to remember where that dumb mindfucked cop was stationed again.