The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

“I am your Mistress. The owner of your life, your body, and your mind. I am the keeper of your chastity key, all your decisions, and all your orgasms. You are a worthless being without my presence in your life. You were born to worship me and treat me as your Queen. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Mistress.”

Leah shifted herself around restlessly. The leather cushions of the voluminous couch she was sitting on felt angular and harsh. Her eyes wandered around the waiting room for what felt like the hundredth time. The décor was probably intended to be calming; pale yellow walls and a plain salmon-coloured rug covering a large portion of the polished wood floor. There was a small table, upon which sat a vase containing some freshly cut spring flowers. The forced blandness of the room somehow only made Leah more nervous. There was no television to concentrate on, no magazines to distract her. There was nothing to do but count down the minutes until her appointment.

Why am I so anxious?

What’s wrong with me?

Therapy’s not going to work.

Why am I even here?

I should just go.

To try to distract herself, she fixed her gaze on the door to the psychotherapist she was about to meet. There was a name stencilled in a large silver script.

Doctor Madeline Calder.

She actually started when the door suddenly opened. Leah saw tall woman appear. In stark contrast to her own worn t-shirt and jeans, the doctor wore a crisp grey suit jacket and skirt. The woman saw her and broke out with a friendly smile.

“Miss Leah Wallace? I’m Dr Calder. Please, come in.” She pulled the door wider and lifted her open palm in a welcoming gesture.

Leah pushed up from the couch and meekly walked into the office. She kept her head down, feeling a little intimated already by this striking woman, so upright and professional. The doctor motioned for her to take a seat, whilst she retreated behind her desk. Beside her laptop she already had a thick manilla file already spread out.

“Excuse me for just a moment, Miss Wallace, whilst I catch up …” Murmured the doctor, not looking up from the papers.

Leah assumed it was her personal medical history. She had been passed along a long line of specialists and therapists, each adding their own diagnoses and prescriptions. Leah tormented herself occasionally, wondering what terrible things they had written about her over the years.

To distract herself, Leah glanced around the office whilst the doctor continued in silence. There were numerous framed certificates and diplomas crowding an entire wall. Books and journals spilled out from a large bookshelf. There was a long reclining chair underneath the tall windows, from which mid-afternoon sunlight streamed in. She noticed several wired devices positioned around the room. She thought they looked like camera equipment.

“Miss Wallace … do you mind if I call you Leah?” Dr Calder suddenly asked. She was staring right at her from behind her thick, black oblong spectacles. Leah shook her head, too nervous to speak aloud.

“Thank you Leah. As you know, Doctor Clemens referred you to me. He thought a change of therapeutic practice might be good for you. The case file he sent over tells me that you were diagnosed with acute anxiety disorder when you were a teenager, as well as a variety of phobias.”

Leah nodded. She looked at the angular features of the doctor. The woman seemed so assured and confident. Leah wished she could be like her. She admired her gorgeous, sleek black hair, her understated make-up. Her hazel eyes spoke of wisdom and experience.

“Why don’t we start by telling me a little about yourself?”

Leah shifted again and cleared her throat. She wondered where to start. A silence loomed that stretched out. When they did come, her words were in fragments.

“Well … I, I have a hard time being outside. Strangers are … um, I get … anxious. People … uh, I have a hard … I mean …” She faltered. She had been to see many professionals, and yet still felt so difficult to express herself properly.

“It’s okay, Leah.” Dr Calder spoke over her, reassuringly. “I have treated many young women with similar disorders to yourself. You are in a safe space when you are in my office. Tell me about your panic attacks.”

The doctor gave the younger woman a broad, warm smile. Leah brushed her strawberry blonde bangs back, feeling herself relax slightly. Her anxiety was why she kept her hair long. It was her safety blanket, something to hide behind. She found it comforting to brush and play with when she was nervous. She took a deep breath and started again.

“The attacks are the worst. It feels as if the world is rushing at me. Noises become really loud and it makes my head hurt. Sometimes it gets hard to focus, sometimes I get dizzy. I get pins and needles in my hands, or tension in my shoulders. I feel a bolt of fear which makes me freeze up.”

Doctor Calder was scribbling fresh notes.

“Please, continue.”

“I worry about every single detail of my life. I’m waiting at the bus stop talking to myself about what position I was in the queue and what would happen if I couldn’t get on the bus. I’d think about losing my job and I’d be totally screwed.”

“How else does it affect your life, Leah?”

“I stopped going out except for work a long time ago. I cancel plans, often last minute, not because I’m rude or don’t want to go, but because I’m afraid of going out in public sometimes, afraid of what’s going to happen, who’s going to look at me or am I going to be embarrassed. Afterwards, I feel bad for missing out. My friends just know not to ask any more.”

Dr Calder finished her note-taking, and picked up another leaf of paper.

“And I see that you have been on several different medications. You haven’t found any of them to be helpful?”

Leah shook her head.

“Well, I have a different methodology. Are you familiar with “EMDR” therapy?”

“No.”

“It stands for “Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing”. It’s a non-traditional type of psychotherapy that I practice with certain patients I feel would benefit from it. It’s usually employed to treat people who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, but I’ve found it effectively assists those with addictions and compulsions, or in your case, anxiety.”

As Dr Calder continued, she stood up from behind her desk and walked round her desk to get closer to her patient. She reached down and placed a hand on Leah’s shoulder.

“I’d like to tell you a little about my personal beliefs, Leah. I believe that the key to achieving an amazing life is built upon a foundation of self-awareness and understanding. I help my clients to find that understanding, to absorb knowledge and apply it to their lives. Seeing them change is the most incredible part of my job.”

She smiled.

“Together we’ll work through your issues session by session.”

The doctor lowered her hand onto Leah’s bare arm, and continued.

“I will ask you to recall certain distressing situations whilst I generate a bilateral sensory input—in this case, asking you to follow a moving light with your eyes. This will stimulate each side of your brain in turn. When you think of something stressful, you get an associated feeling in your body. Like stomach butterflies, or a tightness in your chest, for example. Do you follow me?”

Dr Calder began to lightly stroke her fingers up and down. Leah felt surprise at such an intimate touch from a doctor, but the touch felt vibrant and reassuring. Perhaps that’s what she was looking for. Something different, Something that might actually help. Behind her glasses, Dr Calder’s piercing eyes seemed to promise that help.

“I may have to repeat each question twenty or thirty times until the memory becomes less distressing. Eventually, the stressful thoughts won’t feel as stressful. I may interject with different questions from time to time, to keep your mind active. They might seem a little strange, but try to answer them as you would any of my other questions. Just let your answers flow naturally. Relaxation in body and mind is key. Now, I’d like you to turn your chair around to face this wall.”

Leah turned her chair to the wall as she was directed. She saw a long, thin bar that resembled a light tube, mounted on a tripod. Leah could see there was a line of LED bulbs running along the centre of the bar.

“This is called an eyescan bar.” Dr Calder told her. Picking up two small shapes from her desk, she placed one into each of Leah’s palms. They were smooth, like large pebbles, made of a material almost like silicone.

“I want you to hold these in your hands. They will provide additional tactile stimulation.”

The doctor turned a dial next to the door, dimming the ceiling light. She walked over to the windows and adjusted the blinds until the room was dim.

“This session will last around ninety minutes. I’ll ask you to recall a disturbing event, and you will tell me the emotions and bodily sensations that go along with it. I will then guide you to shift your thoughts to more pleasant ones, and teach you to associate them with different physical sensations. We’ll help strengthen positive connections between your mind and your body.”

With a remote control, Dr Calder turned the eyescan on. A mild orange light began running fluidly from one end of the bar to the other. When it reached the far left of the bar, the bulb in Leah’s left hand vibrated gently. And again, when the light reached the right end of the bar, the right hand device buzzed.

“Just let your eyes latch onto the light, Leah. Keep them focused on the movement. Relax your body and listen to my voice.”

Dr Calder positioned her own chair closely behind, so Leah was able to concentrate upon the bar with no visual distractions.

“Are you comfortable, Leah?” The doctor asked, her voice seemingly very close.

“Yes.” She answered.

“Excellent. All I need you to do is to keep your focus on the light, and listen carefully to my questions.”

Leah nodded. Her eyes followed the motion of the shifting light.

“Keep your focus on the light whilst you answer my questions, okay?” Dr Calder asked again.

“Yes.” Leah repeated.

“I want you to think of the last time you had a panic attack. Where were you?”

Leah’s jaw tightened. She hesitated.

“It’s okay, Leah. You’re perfectly safe with me. Now, where were you when you had your attack?”

“I was on the subway.” Leah managed to squeak out.

“And what triggered the attack?”

“It was really busy.”

“Can you describe what happened?”

“I was fine and then … suddenly the lights seemed too bright. Everything started to pulse and I felt really sick. It got really hot and I felt like I was going to pass out. I knew it was a panic attack because they always feel the same. Sweating, heart beating really fast. I just wanted to disappear.”

“And what did you do?”

“I rushed out at the next stop and sat down on a bench. The fresh air helped. I sat and cried for a while. I walked the rest of the way home.”

“Very good, Leah. Now think back to being in the subway. What is the first thought that comes into your mind?”

“I’m not safe.” Leah could feel her skin prickle at the memory. The tightness in her chest, the pressure on her skin.

“Now, what emotion comes along with that, Leah?” Dr Calder pressed.

“Fear.”

“And where do you feel that fear?”

“In my belly.”

“What negative feelings do you have about yourself?”

“I feel powerless.”

“That’s very good, Leah. It’s important that you recognise and identify those feelings. Just keep following the light with your eyes. Just relax, and let go of that fear in your chest. Take a deep breath in and out.”

Leah breathed as deeply as she could manage, and as her eyes followed the light, and she felt the pleasant vibrations of the bulbs in her hands, she felt her body relax again. Her palpitations calmed.

“Do you feel safe again now, Leah? Just you and me here in this room, following the light? Relaxing, following, listening?”

“Yes … yes I do.” Leah admitted.

“That’s good. Now, I’m going to repeat the process. Try to relax further.”

Leah let her eyes soften as she followed the pulses of light from left to right, back and forth. She lost track of how many times she was asked the same questions. Over and over Dr Calder spoke in a soft, reassuring voice. From time to time there would be a new question that would take Leah by surprise, but she had promised to answer every one, so she did.

“Are you currently in a relationship, Leah?”

“No.”

The light swept back and forth. Leah struggled to keep her eyes open. The light blurred. She lost track of time as Dr Calder made her remember her fear and panic, made her feel again all those terrible sensations in her body, and then talked her back down into a place of soft, dreamy comfort.

“Do you get pleasure from physical intimacy?”

“Yes.”

And all the while she devoted her concentration and her mind to that benign orange light as it slid back and forth. The room grew darker and more distant, and her body felt almost as though it were floating in a pool created by the soothing voice of the older woman.

“Do you like it when others make decisions for you, Leah?”

“Yes.”

Slowly, and surely, Leah felt the process was actually working. With each repetition of the questions, she found that when Dr Calder asked how her body reacted when she thought of herself as powerless, she felt … nothing.

“Describe how you are feeling now, Leah.”

“I wasn’t in a safe situation then … but I’m in one now.” Leah smiled.

“That’s excellent. You’re doing so well.” Dr Calder told her. “You are in a place now that I call “Feeling-State”. When you are here, I mean to help you identify certain physiological arousal triggers of the body with their connections to specific behaviour. We must place another feeling inside your body for you to associate thoughts of powerlessness with. Do you understand?”

Leah nodded dully, not wishing to take her concentration away from the light. It was helping her so much.

“I want you to learn to associate certain emotions with particular sensations. Pleasant sensations.”

“Pleasant.” Leah whispered in agreement.

“The seeking of pleasurable feelings is an essential part of a healthy life, Leah. Focus on feelings of satisfaction, now, Leah. Let your mind go blank. Allow yourself to free-associate. Tell me the first pleasurable thought that comes into your mind.”

The light seemed to glide ever so slightly faster now, almost imperceptibly, compelling Leah to move her eyes quicker to keep pace with it. An image, a sensation, entered her mind unbidden. She remembered something she had not thought about in a long time.

“Once … with an old boyfriend … I felt good.”

“It’s very interesting that your mind went there, Leah. Describe to me the most positive experience you have ever had with a boyfriend.”

“His name was David … we were having sex … I felt so whole.”

“It was intense and wonderful, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. Intense.”

“How long did this wonderful sense of wholeness last?”

“Only a few minutes.”

“But it made you feel satisfied?”

“Yes.”

“And how about when you orgasm? Do you feel satisfied then?”

“Yes.” Leah agreed. The light seemed to speed up a little faster again.

“Tell me, have you had any sexual experiences with other women?”

“No.”

“That’s okay, Leah. I want you to concentrate upon that sense of satisfaction you felt. Can you describe it to me?”

“It felt warm … and comforting. And it felt so good.” She breathed. To her surprise she could feel her nipples tighten under her t-shirt.

“And where did you feel it?”

“In my belly … my legs … in … between my legs …”

“Let yourself feel that sensation now, Leah.”

Leah whimpered as a rush of intimate heat began to pulsate deep inside her body, spreading up and down like stimulating water.

“And what do you associate it with?” The doctor pressed.

“Helplessness.” Leah gasped, feeling a rush of pleasure as the light sped up again, almost as though it were rewarding her honesty. She heard Dr Calder speak again.

“Wonderful. You’re performing excellently. I’m so pleased with you.”

Leah whimpered with acknowledgement. The bulbs in her hands vibrated encouragingly.

“When you think of being in that crowded subway, Leah, how do you feel?”

“I feel powerless.”

“Yes. You feel powerless to control your impulses. And how does that powerlessness make you feel, Leah?”

“It makes me feel good.”

“Yes. You feel good. You will have an intense sense of pleasure when you experience this feeling from now on, Leah. When you feel like you are losing control, you will associate those feelings of powerlessness no longer with fear, but with pleasure deep inside your body.”

Leah nodded. Dr Calder asked her again. And again. Making her repeat her answers.

“How do you feel?”

“I feel helpless.”

“And what does helplessness feel like?”

“It feels good.”

“Tell me again, Leah.”

“It feels so good.”

“Being powerless makes you feel very, very good.”

“Yes.”

Oh, God, Leah thought, the pleasure growing every time she said the words she knew Dr Calder wanted to hear. Feeling her toes curl inside her trainers, her heart beat faster. She felt as though she were … that she were …

“Well done, Leah. I think that will do for now.” Dr Calder suddenly interjected. Leah breathed in deeply, realising how desperately she needed air in her lungs.

“The more intensely you experience this feeling of pleasure, the stronger your reaction will be when you are finally satisfied. Now, I want you to close your eyes and sleep.”

Leah closed her eyes. The orange glow of the light still throbbing in her mind’s eye, but she could sense it slowing, slowing, slowing, until it finally came to a rest. Dr Calder turned her device off. Time dripped by as the two women sat in the dark and the silence.

“You can open your eyes now.” The doctor’s voice drifted into the peaceful void of Leah’s mind. She did so. The blinds were once again open and the room was lit with sunshine, although the day had turned into early evening. The sky had begun to turn a deep azure. Dr Calder was standing over her. She patted her patient gently on the head, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. They looked into each others eyes for a moment. Dr Calder seemed to be scrutinizing her.

“You can get up now.”

Leah pushed herself out of the chair, standing a little unsteadily. She realised she had been perspiring slightly. Dr Calder placed a hand onto the small of her back, and gently guided her back into the waiting room.

“You did very well, Leah. As we progress, I think you will find these sessions very beneficial. You may find some shifts in your behaviour, but that will be perfectly natural. We can discuss them when you come in for your next session.”