Leah Learns (Chapter II)
* * *Doctor Madeline Calder was well-respected in the field of psychology. She had written several papers regarding her particular specialisation, that of EMDR therapy. In many cases, the changes her techniques had on her patients were remarkable. As she sat at her desk and read through her notes regarding her latest subject, she considered that the transformation she had witnessed in Leah Wallace were really quite fascinating. Her malleability raised thoughts in the doctor’s mind she had never considered before.
She had been thinking keenly on where next to take her development. Her mind was full of possibilities, and not all of them even remotely ethical. There was something about this attractive young woman that stirred something deep inside her.
Over the course of many weeks, Madeline had guided the young woman to confront different situations that caused her stress and anxiety. Leah would concentrate her attention on the moving light of the eyescan bar. Dr Calder would ask her questions, making her describe her feelings and the bodily sensations she associated them with. Those questions would be repeated over and over until the feelings themselves lost their tactile power. When she was satisfied Leah was ready, she encouraged her to substitute new sensations in their place. She had never dealt with a patient so readily suggestible.
Leah’s responses and behaviour during her bilateral stimulation sessions had been extremely satisfying. What was intriguing to Madeline, and darkly exciting to her, was where Leah’s mind went when she was deep in this “Feeling-State”. She would invariably choose a feeling or emotion that was sexual in nature. Deep inside, she associated powerlessness and submission with erotic arousal. Despite her sweet innocent surface, it was this well of hidden thoughts that really excited the therapist.
Madeline had spent long nights pondering this, wondering how best to proceed. It had kept her awake at night. Desires of her own were becoming harder to ignore, the more she watched and listened to Leah squirm and writhe with hot enjoyment.
She had also perceived small yet significant changes in Leah’s speech and body language as the weeks had gone by. Embarrassed glances, colour in her cheeks. Unsuccessful attempts to disguise when her nipples got hard under her t-shirt, betraying her innermost emotions.
She had asked Leah to keep a small journal of her thoughts, but it was clear the girl wasn’t being completely honest in it. Madeline had a powerful urge to unmask her patient’s true desires. To that end, she had prepared herself carefully for this session. She dressed in a very definite way for a reason. She had been running the scenario through her mind many times until she was sure it would work.
Her methodology might be unorthodox, she knew, but she had a feeling it would be very effective. And she had a very specific destination in mind for this malleable young woman. A way to fulfil both their needs.
When she opened her office door, Leah was waiting for her, perched on the very edge of the leather couch. The girl broke into a smile when their eyes met.
“Why don’t you come in, Leah?” Dr Calder said cordially.
For her part, Leah had been looking forward to her appointment all week long. This new therapy had made such a positive change in her life in such a short time. It was better than any medication she had ever been prescribed. Being with Dr Calder made her feel like sliding into a pool of hot water. It was an immersive pleasure she felt. The doctor was so authoritative and knowledgeable. Leah felt like she was giving up all control to her whilst she was sitting in her office, and that thought sent shivers of forbidden desire through her body. I just feel so helpless around her, she thought. And it makes me …
She realised Dr Calder was staring at her intently. Leah looked away, feeling her cheeks heat up. She worried that if she knew what shameful things she was really thinking about, she might end their relationship. She didn’t want to do anything that might put the doctor off from treating her further.
A pregnant hush filled the room as neither woman spoke. Leah couldn’t help but look and admire her therapist. She was wearing today a relaxed button-up blouse in a dark claret, and a waist high black leather pencil skirt.
Leah had tried to dress up a little herself. She had put on a pair of tight-fitting jeans, and an attractive summery top, patterned with cheerful flowers. But she still felt dowdy and unglamorous in comparison to the raven-haired woman across from her.
It felt like an eternity before Dr Calder decided to break the silence.
“Well Leah, would you like to tell me how the past week has gone for you?”
“Oh, it’s been fine, Dr Calder. Better than fine. I’ve been sleeping so much better thanks to what you taught me. I’ve not had any problems like panic attacks or anything.”
In fact, Leah had felt them coming on several times, but now she revelled in the rush of pleasure she felt when she thought she was spinning a little out of control. She didn’t want to mention she had been almost seeking it out, in order to feel the rush of such intense stimulation over and over. The fizzing pleasure radiating through her body, and the thoughts in her mind, and what she had found herself doing again and again … she blinked. She realised she had drifted off again. Her doctor was scrutinizing her from behind her black spectacles, patiently waiting for her to continue.
“Anyway … thank you, Dr Calder. You’ve helped me so much already.”
“I’m happy to hear that, Leah. I feel we’ve made an important connection. We’re effectively beginning to treat your anxiety disorder. However, I feel there is a problem we will have to address first. I’m afraid that you’re not being fully honest with me.”
Leah frowned, taken aback. A cold droplet of fear fell into her belly.
“I …” She faltered.
“Please. We need to bring this out into the open. I’m talking about your sex addiction.”
“But … but I’m not …” Leah struggled, her cheeks colouring again. Dr Calder raised an eyebrow.
“You don’t feel you have a problem with this aspect of your life, Leah?” She asked.
“Well, no … I don’t.”
“Okay. Let me tell you what I have observed in your behaviour recently. You’ve been unable to disguise it from me. You feel powerless to control your sexual urges, don’t you?”
As she spoke, Dr Calder stood up from her chair. Leah struck dumb as she began to unbutton her blouse.
“You’re becoming preoccupied with thoughts of sex.” She said.
The doctor shook the blouse from her shoulders and placed it over the back of her chair. Leah felt stuck, unable to look away. Dr Calder’s voice took on a colder, tighter tone.
“You are hypersexual. You are obsessed.”
Leah could feel her heart thumping hard in her chest. Her cheeks were burning with embarrassment, but she couldn’t take her eyes away from her therapist.
“One typical behaviour of hypersexuality is compulsive masturbation. Tell me, Leah. When did you last masturbate?”
“In … in the waiting room.” She blurted. Oh my God, Leah trembled. How did she know? Had she been watching me? Or can she just tell?
“Right now, before your appointment?”
“Yes.”
“And why did you do it?”
Leah fell silent, her entire body burning ever hotter. Could she really say it out loud?
“Remember, Leah. Your are in a safe space in this office. I require you to be totally honest with me.”
“Because being in here with you makes me feel helpless.” Leah eventually gasped out. It was a relief to tell the truth, to let it out. She squeezed her thighs together.
“And that turns you on, doesn’t it?”
“Yes.”
The doctor grasped the zip on the side of her skirt and pulled it down slowly, savouring the effect she knew she was having on her patient. She stepped out of it gracefully. Leah drank in the sight of her body. She was now standing before Leah in her underwear, an exquisite set of bra and panties in a deep shade of burgundy, along with matching stockings and suspenders. They looked expensive and lavish, only serving to accentuate her toned skin.
“Are you aroused now?”
“… Yes.” Leah eventually admitted, her eyes finally falling to the floor with embarrassment.
“Because I make you feel powerless?”
Leah could only nod.
“Do you need to masturbate again?”
Feeling herself break with hot shame, Leah could only rock her head in the affirmative.
“Good. I want you to masturbate now while you look at me.”
Leah’s eyes snapped back up in surprise. Dr Calder cocked her head to one side, raising her eyebrows in expectation. Relief flushed through her body, a wonderful soothing feeling. It was quickly overcome by hot arousal. Dr Calder was letting her do it … was commanding her to do it.
She watched as the doctor strode around to lean on the edge of her desk, letting Leah view her entire body. She drank in her long legs, her toned stomach, her sharp shoulders. Her skin, so contrastingly pale against her lacy undergarments. Dr Calder knew precisely the effect she was having. Leah’s arm moved slowly, but with terrible purpose. A finger and thumb struggled with the top button of her denims. But then there was space and she was able to slide her hand underneath her knickers. She was still hot and wet. She was always hot and wet now. She easily found her most sensitive spot and began rubbing herself in tight little circles. With their eyes still locked together, Dr Calder nodded her approval. She crossed her arms over her chest and continued her interrogation.
“You are proving to me right now that your sexual urges are overpowering you, Leah. I hope you can see this. What about other sexual thoughts? Have you been watching pornography?”
Leah nodded, enjoying the thrill of her own touch.
“Having you been thinking about exhibitionism, voyeurism, lewd sex with multiple partners?”
“Yes.”
“And you think about me as one of those partners, don’t you?”
“Yes!” Leah gasped out. Dr Calder was seeing right through her. Knowing her deepest secrets.
“Good.”
Dr Calder watched her squirm for a moment. This was going better than she had planned. Leah’s breaths were coming in short gasps now, the eroticism of the situation overpowering her last inhibitions.
“So here you are, masturbating in front of your therapist, masturbating for her, in fact. Would you agree you are trapped in a state of hypersexuality?”
Leah could only nod. Their gaze was still locked together.
“You feel ashamed at how much you think of sex, don’t you?”
Leah nodded again.
“There is no reason to feel shamed of your sex drive. You are no longer to feel ashamed of your sexual urges when you are with me. Do you understand?”
“Uh-huh.” Leah groaned.
“Good. Now, I want you to stop touching yourself.”
With great reluctance, Leah withdrew her hand. She felt the warm stickiness on her fingers cool in the air of the office. As usual, when Dr Calder told her to spin her chair around to face the eyescan, she did so. Her eyes began to blur the moment the orange LED light began to sway back and forth, but she obediently kept her focus on it. The blinds were lowered again, to envelope her in darkness. She felt the vibrating pebbles pressed into her palms. Dr Calder leaned down from behind and whispered into her ear.
“You’re thinking with the animal addict part of your brain. You need the help of someone whose rational, moral brain is working.”
Leah felt her breathing slow and relax back down from her inflamed state, as she followed the light back and forth, back and forth. Dr Calder continued.
“I hope you understand that these sessions are very different from ones with my regular patients. I don’t make a habit of allowing my patients to see me in my underwear. You are a special case, however. I’m willing to cross certain boundaries to help you get better.”
Leah couldn’t help but tremble at that. She was grateful for such special attention.
“Raise your buttocks a little for me, dear.”
The doctor bent over her patient. She was so close Leah could feel the heat of her skin. She could smell her wonderful, heady perfume. Dr Calder worked her jeans down over her slim hips to her thighs. Her damp knickers followed. Leah’s eyes fluttered with excitement.
“Eyes on the light, please.” She was reminded.
Leah allowed her eyes to blur further as the light glided back and forth. She enjoyed the pleasant vibrations of the silicone pebbles in her hands. Then suddenly, deliciously, she felt a fingertip press into the her slickened vulva. She strained with excitement. Slowly, horribly slowly, Dr Calder pushed one long finger deep inside her, making her groan. In time with the slow movement of the light, the doctor withdrew her digit, almost, but not all the way, out of her heated passage.
“I understand you’re feeling a lot of emotional turmoil.” She told her.
She pushed her finger back in, in time with the movement of the light. Leah moaned. She had never been touched in this way by another woman. It was an overwhelming feeling, but she tried her very best to remain concentrated on the orange illumination.
“I make you feel powerless, don’t I?” Dr Calder asked.
“Yes.” Leah whispered.
“And how does that make you feel?”
“It makes me feel good.” She admitted.
The doctor asked her again and again, until the girl’s replies came out in a robotic monotone. The light began moving faster, as though pleased with her answers. Leah’s eyes were still locked firmly onto it as Dr Calder’s finger pumped in and out, in and out, pushing the tormented girl ever so closer to her precipice.
“You feel helpless in my presence, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Yes. Good. Helpless and mindless. How does that make you feel?”
“It makes me feel good.”
“Horny. Tell me it makes you feel horny.”
“It makes me horny.”
She was rewarded by the light speeding even faster.
“And where in your body do you feel it?”
“In my … in my …” She struggled to grasp the words.
“In your cunt. Tell me you feel it in your cunt.”
“I feel it … oh! In my cunt!”
Dr Calder leaned in closer. Her lips softly brushed Leah’s earlobe as she whispered.
“My power over you makes you horny.”
“Uh … yes … horny …”
“Being mindless and powerless in my presence makes you want to orgasm.”
“Yes … oh, oh, please …”
Faster and faster still the light moved as she felt the finger piston deep inside her, and Leah rocked her hips up to meet each thrust, her mind falling apart, trapped between the light captivating her eyes, and the woman skilfully manipulating her, that single point of physical contact between the two.
Then Dr Calder suddenly wrapped her free arm around Leah’s shoulders, grasping her, holding her tightly, and raised her voice urgently.
“Tell me you need to come for me.”
“I need to come for you!” Leah cried out desperately.
“Excellent, Leah. Then come.” She commanded.
Leah convulsed and moaned as she orgasmed, shaking and shivering within Dr Calder’s tight embrace. She held on and continued to whisper soothing encouragement, drawing out her tremulous pleasure.
“Mindless and powerless. Mindless and powerless.” She repeated. Leah heard her own voice repeat the words back to her.
Eventually her convulsions subsided. Dr Calder released her from her grip and gently withdrew her finger. She stood up and walked around to face the younger woman.
“Close your eyes now, and let your mind go blank.”
For long moments Dr Calder stroked her fingers through Leah’s ruffled red hair as she trembled and sobbed through the last tremors of her orgasm, the secret fantasies she had been harbouring for weeks being fulfilled in one burst of joy. The rhythm of the light slowed, slowed, stopped, and disappeared, leaving Leah in peaceful darkness. Gradually her breathing settled.
“Sh. Sh. That’s good, Leah. Let it all out.” Dr Calder continued to comfort.
She turned to her desk and picked up a tissue to wipe Leah’s damp cheeks dry.
“We made an important breakthrough today, Leah. You have admitted you are suffering from hypersexuality. You are addicted to sex. Fortunately, your addiction is now me.”
Yes, Leah realised in the darkness. I’m addicted to you.
“In order for you to get better, you will have to limit your masturbation to the time spent in our sessions. Do you think you will be able to do that for me?”
Leah was drifting, floating, only able to agree with a nod.
“And in order to maintain a proper boundary between us during our sessions, I require you to refer me as Mistress, not Doctor, from now on. Do you understand?”
Leah nodded again.
“I need you to say it aloud for me, my dear.”
“Yes … Mistress.” Leah said.
“Excellent. You may open your eyes, dear.”
Leah lifted her eyelids. Dr Calder was once again fully dressed, smart and proper in her blouse and skirt. The blinds were open and the room was bright. How long she had slept for, Leah could not tell. All she knew was that her jeans and panties were still pooled around her ankles, her body still exposed. She gazed up in wonder at the beautiful, powerful woman who towered over her.
Madeline looked at her meaningfully. Her plan had played out better than she could have hoped. She bent down. She groped her fingers between Leah’s still quivering thighs. She pressed a finger between her wet lips and curled it up, collecting some sticky sweet dew. She raised it to her lips.
“This belongs to me, now.” She said, sucking the finger into her mouth.