The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

Phase Zero Clinical Trial: Response To Hypnozamine In The Human Female

by B Pascal

Chapter 13

I was nearly unconscious when she returned. I felt her climb into bed and worm her way next to me. She put an arm around me and fell asleep. So did I.

I was in the middle of an erotic dream, something to do with harems and concubines, I think, it was unclear, and I could feel the waking state pulling me away from the harem, and I was saying, “No, not yet, just a minute more.” But too late, because I opened my eyes and it took me a moment to remember where I was.

I looked to my left and there was Maria, propped up on one elbow, watching me sleep, while the other hand was playing with my limp dick.

I looked at her for a few moments, and said, “I think I just had an inspiration for a new kind of alarm clock for men. I think it’s going to be a big success.”

“I want a piece of the action. I believe I contributed to the idea.”

“I almost wouldn’t mind being awakened from a nice dream if it were like that. Though you don’t seem to be having much success.”

“Oh, I haven’t even begun yet. I’ll have you straightened out in no time.”

“Clever. I see what you did there.”

“Not everyone recognizes genius. You think you’re up for another one, Sam?”

“What time is it? How long did we sleep?”

“It’s about one-thirty, so you maybe had two, two and a half hours sleep. You have somewhere you have to be.”

“I usually go for my evening run about this time. I’d hate to give it up.”

“Don’t you worry, bunky, I’ll make sure you get your daily exercise.”

She slithered her way down the bed till she got to my waist, then inspected the task at hand. She had one hand stroking the dick, which felt very nice, but not quite at the erotic level yet. I could see she was planning her attack, figuring out the best technique to achieve the desired effect.

Eventually she leaned over and sucked the tip into her mouth, running the tongue over the tip and using her lips to massage the rim. Oh, yeah, much better. Her hand slipped down and cupped my balls and she started rolling them gently in her hand, sometimes tickling the back of the scrotum with her fingertips. I was impressed. It was already halfway stiff.

Then she began moving up and down, just a bit, so the rim slid past her lips, which was exquisite. It got better when she started sucking my dick into her mouth, closing her lips tight around it, and tonguing it while she hummed. I was moving around on the bed now, breathing fast.

I realized that it didn’t seem quite so limp anymore, quite rigid, in fact, and with that rigidity she was able to open her mouth and drop all the way down until she pushed my cock into her throat and sucked. I wasn’t aware that I was talking to her, telling her what to do. I just didn’t want her to stop fucking her throat with my cock.

I know another five minutes would have had me shooting a load of cum into her mouth, and I think she could feel that on the horizon as well, so she pulled off with a smacking sound, and stroked it while she looked up and me and smiled.

“Have you ever thought of opening your own vocational school?” I asked a little breathlessly.

She had the good grace to smile and blush, then wormed her way up and got onto two elbows looking at me. “So, got any plans for that?”

“I know just what to do with it. You know what would give me a rush, Maria? You riding me so I can look at you while you do it. I’d like that.” She gave me a quick kiss and started to get in position, but I said, “Wait.”

I reached back to the side table and found the other condom. I started to put it on, but she took it from me. “I’m on the pill, but a condom’s never a bad idea. There ya go, all set.”

She swung a leg over me, got comfortable, and settled slowly down onto my dick. I thought the way her pussy just swallowed it gently was incredibly stimulating.

With her eyes half closed, she moved her hips in a small circular motion that made her tits sway hypnotically above me. About as perfect a picture as I could imagine. I reached up and cupped her breasts in my palms and squeezed and she caught her breath.

She changed the motion to a more in-and-out where she slid forward and back, supporting herself on her hands. This was a woman surrendering to the feelings of her body, luxuriating in them, and it was beautiful. She had the most contented look on her face, with her mouth in a relaxed little “O”.

I reached up to her swaying breasts and took the nipples between my fingers and pinched and pulled them, letting them snap back. She gasped and opened her eyes, and I watched her while I did it again. “Does that feel good, baby?”

She nodded, breathing fast, still keeping her rhythm. She really was a gorgeous woman, very sexy. I ran the palm of my hand down over her stomach, rubbing, having to stretch a bit, until it found her pubis, and with a very small amount of searching located her clit, and I tapped my index finger against it as she ground against me. She moaned, and said, “Oh, fuck.”

I was feeling something happening somewhere around my prostate, perhaps an indication of an orgasm in the near future. I liked watching her cum, so she should have a couple more before we collapsed again.

I got my hands on her ass and squeezed as I started pumping my dick into her a little harder. She caught the change in rhythm and moved to match it, eyes open now, watching me. I slapped one side of her ass, then the other. “Work that ass, baby, put some movement into it.”

Now I could feel her breathing fast, an occasional grunt. I reached up again and tweaked her nipples, hard. “Are you close, baby? You want to cum?”

A desperate, breathy, “Yes, yes,” was all that I could get from her. I stared her straight in the eye. “I want to see you cum, Maria. Cum for me.”

Her eyes widened, as if it caught her by surprise, and she said, “Oh, Jesus.” Then a pause while I kept fucking her, then she cried out, “Oh, my God, I’m cumming NOW, oh yes, yes!” She kept calling out as she pumped my dick with her pussy, wanting to make it last.

And then, like someone had pulled the plug, she paused at the apex of her rise, and slowly fell forward onto me. She was repeating, “Fuck, fuck,” over and over, holding on to me to keep from sliding off onto the bed. I put my arms around her tight.

She lay there for almost five minutes, I think, her breathing slowing imperceptibly until it reached normal. At some point, she pushed herself up on her arms so she could look at me.

She gave me a glorious smile. “That one just wiped me out, Sam. I was helpless and I didn’t care because I felt so fucking good, so relaxed, so happy. Geez, I wish they could all be like that.”

“Me, too. But I’ll take what I can get. I thought I saw a bit of that in your face when you came. It was beautiful.”

“A poor word for what it was, but I know what you mean. And you’ve still got more in you? Oh, you’re a keeper. What shall we do with this? Any ideas?”

“Well, I kinda like what you were doing before. I loved watching you on top of me, it’s very erotic, so maybe a little more of that?”

“Your wish is et cetera, et cetera, master.“

“Wait, I have an idea. How ’bout you turn around, reverse cowgirl, then I could watch your ass for awhile.”

“So is this the kink you were hiding from me? You’re an ass man?”

“That’s not kinky at all. That’s a natural reaction. You’ve got a great ass, why wouldn’t I want to watch it?”

“Just pulling your leg, Sam. Or pulling something, anyway. Reverse it is.”

And in seconds she was turned around, settling down onto my dick again, and I wasn’t wrong, the ass was great, especially watching my dick sliding in and out. She got a good rhythm going, and she was able to push back hard on the downstroke, which felt wonderful. Every so often, I’d reach out and give one ass cheek or the other a swat, and she’d go, “Ah.”

I saw that the strokes were getting shorter but faster now as her breathing picked up, and I started talking to her, telling her how hot she looked and how good her pussy felt wrapped around my dick. I could feel my orgasm approaching in the distance.

And as she rose and fell, her little pink butthole peeked out at me, saying hi. I watched it, fascinated, moving up and down only a couple of inches as her ass moved over my dick. I moved my hand down toward my dick, palm up, extended a finger and touched her asshole, following it on the upstroke, then put it right at the entrance and held it there as her ass descended for the downstroke.

“Oh, my GOD!” she shouted. “Oh, fuck, oh fuck.” Her ass moved up and down, my finger stayed mostly stationary, penetrating her butt. One of her instructions had been, finger in asshole = wonderful warm orgasm spreading from her ass throughout her body. And it was washing over her now, making her shake, moaning, “I’m such a slut, that feels so good.” That was part of the instruction, too.

Watching her get off like that, brought me pretty close to the edge myself, so I pulled my finger out of her ass, and started hammering her pussy for all I was worth. This was going to finish me for the night, I was pretty sure, so it had better be a good one.

And in another thirty seconds I was there, it was rising up from my balls, and I was calling out to her, “Baby, I’m cumming now, I’m cumming,” in case there was any doubt. As it exploded into her, I told her, “Cum for me, Maria, cum now.”

She was facing away from me, but I could see her right hand between her legs pumping away as she worked her clit, telling the world that here it was, she was cumming and it felt amazing. The English part of the dialog kind of faded away in the midst of it, to be replaced by grunts and gasps and unconnected phonemes.

She slowed down like a spinning bicycle wheel does when friction reduces its angular velocity until it stops rotating. She fell forward, but caught herself with her arms so she didn’t fall off the bed. After a minute, she crawled off and slid up next to me and onto my body. There she closed her eyes.

I tried, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer, I was worn out. I closed my eyes and was out. I woke up some time later, I couldn’t tell how long I’d been out. She was still lying next to me, looking as peaceful as I’ve ever seen anyone. I suddenly realized that the condom was hanging on to my now-completely-limp dick only by pure luck. I held it on with one hand while I crawled off the bed and into the bathroom.

I dumped it, peed, and washed my hands, then thought that I might as well wash the parts that had gotten the most use, so I stepped into the tub and bathed my dick and balls with soap and warm water. I found a hand towel to dry myself, and stumbled back to bed, turning off the lamp on the dresser as I passed it. I pulled myself in close to her, placed a hand over hers, and was unconscious in moments.

It was light when I next awoke, but I couldn’t see where the clock was so I didn’t know how long I’d been out. The sun seemed fairly high in the sky, so it wasn’t dawn. Apparently I’d been sleeping on my side, facing her, close in with my lips on her boob. I could think of lots worse ways of waking up.

This was so pleasant that I didn’t move yet, just lay there thinking. I’d been kinda pissed at her and the others last night, using me as a door prize, with rock-paper-scissors done on the sly to determine who got to take me home. I almost walked out, but I was glad now that I hadn’t.

She really was a sweet girl, smart, with a great body, and open-minded and creative in bed. The only downside was that dangerous urge to look for the bad boys who’d treat her rough and order her around. That would not end well in any scenario, and I was concerned for her. To give her credit, she was aware of the danger and was working on it.

I started thinking about last night again. I’d been feeling a bit awkward about being the dominus in her fantasy and about the bondage, too. I’d been able to do it in a way that hadn’t really hurt her, but if I had to be honest with myself, I didn’t get a rush from it. Perhaps that would change if I did it more, but I didn’t think so.

And as I thought about last night, I realized that I had a stiffy. Morning wood, right on time. But she looked so relaxed that I didn’t have the heart to wake her, so I watched her sleep instead until I closed my eyes and nodded off again.

She woke me when she got up and walked into the hallway. In a few minutes I heard the toilet flush and she padded back into the bedroom.

“Oh. You’re awake. I hope it wasn’t me who woke you up.”

“No, I was already awake and then closed my eyes for a few minutes. Are you normally this bubbly at whatever time of the morning it is?”

“It’s about nine, and usually, no, I’m not. But I’m feeling really good this morning. Why would that be, d’ya think?”

“No idea.”

“Wait? Is that... It is. It’s a hard-on. This puts a whole new light on the morning.“

“Just because I have a stiffy doesn’t mean I have the energy required to employ it. Maria, you wiped me out last night. I don’t know what I’ve got left in me.”

“It’s be a shame to waste it. Wait, I know! Sometimes I can’t get going till I’ve had a shower, that usually wakes me up. Let’s take a shower together! C’mon, it’ll be fun.”

“Who are you, and what have you done with Maria? The one I knew was never this... effervescent.“

“You never saw me in the morning before. C’mon, outta bed and into the shower, let’s go.”

She was bouncing, I mean jumping up and down on her toes, that excited. Which I really couldn’t complain about because it made all the other parts of her bounce, too. It was better than Netflix.

I pulled myself up and followed her into the bathroom, where she started the water running. “I’m not gonna wash my hair, ’cause it’ll take too long to dry, but if you want to, you’ve got short hair and I’ve got a hair dryer, ’kay?”

I nodded. She found a shower cap on the back of the door and tucked her hair in, then held back the shower curtain, and said, “’Come into my parlor’, said the spider to the fly.”

“Have you ever seen the movie ’Psycho’? Just sayin’, ’cause all this enthusiasm this early in the morning sets me on edge.”

“You can be a real stick-in-the-mud. Get into the shower, Sam.”

I got in and got wet, and she followed me. I let the warm water run through my hair, but she had found soap and was lathering my back. Her hands moved lower until she was rubbing soap on the cheeks of my ass, which felt great, especially when she let a soapy finger trail down my ass crack and poke at my asshole.

“Be careful what you start, or you may have to finish it, Maria.”

“That was the whole idea of this. You see how well it’s working?”

I couldn’t disagree, and then she let her hand drop even lower and she was fondling my balls from the back, squeezing them, running her fingertips over them. Jesus. My breathing was getting a bit ragged. I grabbed her wrist and said, “My turn to wash.”

She smiled up at me while I rubbed soap on my hands. I started at her shoulders and worked my way down her chest. I spent enough time on her boobs, making sure they were clean everywhere, that she closed her eyes and leaned her head back and started moaning. That’s the sign of a good cleaning, I’ve always said.

I got more soap on my hands and worked my way down her stomach and between her legs, because, I’m told, that’s where dirt accumulates, in the little folds and hidden places. So I paid special attention to all of them. To make sure they were hygienic. I was pretty sure, because she was gripping my free arm now, and breathing heavily.

I took two soapy fingers and slid them between her labia, up and down, just to make sure I didn’t miss anyplace, then slid them down and into her pussy. Got to clean everywhere. My doctor said that, and he went to med school for four years, so he knows what he’s talking about.

When I applied the soapy fingers inside her pussy, her knees bent and she gasped and said, “Oh, wait.” I suppose there can be too much cleanliness, so I stopped.

I asked her to turn around and put her hands on the shower wall, and I again soaped up and washed her back, slowly, taking time in each area that might have gotten extra dirty. By the time I got down to her butt, she was saying, “Oh, please, please.”

I have to admit, washing the butt cheeks was fun. I think she enjoyed it, too, ’cause she was saying, “More, more, don’t stop.” Almost done, so I soaped up again and washed between her butt cheeks, and each time my fingers brushed her asshole she gasped and caught her breath. At the end, there was only one thing left, so I took two soapy fingers and slipped them into her ass and out again, making sure it was clean. To be thorough, I did it a number of times. She shouted, “Yes, yes, right there, don’t stop.”

I was going to wash her legs, but she whirled around and grabbed my wrist and I thought she was going to break it. Her eyes were intense, and she said, “Give me that soap, you bastard. I’ll get you clean right now.”

She rubbed the soap on her hands while never losing my gaze, then reached out and grabbed my dick and stroked it up and down with her soapy hand. I admired her commitment to cleanliness, while I did all I could to push back the approaching orgasm. She reached under me and got my balls soapy and slid them through her hands until I thought I was going to cum.

“You think we’re clean enough now, Sam?”

“I think we got all the important places. Clean enough.”

We did a quick rinse, and in one motion she turned off the water, stepped out of the shower, tossed the shower cap in the corner, and grabbed a towel. She told me, “Towel and hair dryer in the linen closet. Hurry up.”

She was out of the bathroom and headed toward the bedroom, while I was still struggling with the hair dryer. I blew it mostly dry and combed it with my fingers until I looked presentable, then went down the hall after her.

She was lying on the bed, watching the doorway. When I came into the room I jumped onto the bed, grabbed her in my arms, and started sucking her face, touching every place on her that I could reach. I was about ready to stick my dick in the first hole that was handy. She’d been right, the shower was just the thing to get the engine running.

“All right, bunky, enough foreplay, I need a dick right now. Let’s get to it.”

“Wait, I just realized, I used my last condom earlier. Nuts.”

“Top drawer of the side table.”

I slid it open and there was a whole package. I admired preparation. I’ll bet she had an IRA all set up, too.

I slipped it on my dick while she watched.

“You have any unfulfilled fantasies that I can help with, Sam? Cover my pussy with whipped cream and fuck my face while you lick it off? Tie me up and fuck me hanging off the balcony?”

“I’ve gotta say, you seem to have given this a lot of thought. A very active fantasy life you have there, Ms. Maria. I’m not sure I can keep up with you, callow youth that I am.”

“I’ll get you straightened out in no time. So what’ll it be?”

I looked at her for a few moments. “You know what I haven’t done? I haven’t fucked your ass. I’d like to fuck your ass. Are you up for that?”

She hesitated, just for a moment. “I’d been expecting something a little more sedate, but if that gets you going, sure, I like the occasional dick in my butt. Tell me what you want.”

And now I had to think about it, about the logistics. There were a number of possibilities, but I finally settled on one. “Stand by the bottom of the bed, legs spread. Bend at the waist and put your arms on the bed. I’ll do the rest.”

I gave her a wet kiss, then she got up and assumed the position. I took the bottle of lube and walked around behind her and nearly had a stroke. Her pussy and her asshole, both waiting there for me, I could feel my dick twitching in anticipation. It wouldn’t take much to get me off.

I was so ready to fuck her ass, but I needed to say hello to that beautiful pussy first. I got on my knees and licked her slit up to the entrance to her pussy and tried to stick my tongue in. She moaned, and said, “Oh, yeah, that’s really nice. More.” So I did.

Then I went back the other way and couldn’t quite reach her clit because my tongue wasn’t long enough. But she liked it anyway, and while I licked her slit some more, I stuck two fingers in her cunt, and she went off. “Sam, I’m cumming! Oh, yes, don’t stop.” I fucked her with my fingers for another thirty seconds until it seemed she was jumping from the sensitivity. I pulled them out slowly and rubbed her damp pussy, admiring it.

And then I couldn’t wait any more, I needed my dick in her right away. I fumbled for the bottle of lube and poured a little down her ass crack and around her butthole. I put two fingers on her asshole and poured a little more onto them, then twisted them into her butt.

“Ohmigod, yes, I’m cumming, oh, that’s nice, baby, more, more.”

I added another finger to the mix and now her ass was shaking, because I had told her fingers in ass = wonderful, warm orgasm spreading from the ass outwards. Okay, no more Mr. Nice Guy, time to get my nut. I poured some more lube on my dick and rubbed it in. I stood behind her and positioned it at her asshole and pressed in.

Her ass was fighting me, even while she was saying, “Yes! Yes!” I put my thumb on the head of my dick and pushed it into her ass, and the rest of it followed dutifully behind.

“Fuck, yes! Stick it in, baby, that’s it!”

Oh, Christ, it was really tight, and her ass was shaking now as she tried to get more of it in. She pushed her ass back and forth trying to get it deeper.

“C’mon, Sam, fuck me, I need this, give it to me, please.”

I pulled all the way out, leaving just the tip in, then pushed forward until it was almost all the way in. Then back out and in again, over and over. “Oh, shit,” she was moaning, “so close, so close, c’mon, get me off.”

Truth was, I was pretty close, too. Her ass was magic, and no matter how deep down that orgasm was hiding, she was summoning it forth. I could feel it rising slowly, so I picked up the pace.

“Oh, Jesus, Maria, I’m almost there, keep squeezing your ass like that and I’m done.”

Now I was like a piston, in and out, just waiting for the release to come, and she was shouting at me, “Fuck me, fuck my ass hard, baby, oh, yes, like that, I’m so close.”

I could see my orgasm just coming around the bend, any second now, and without even thinking about what I was doing, I just pushed my dick in as far as it could go, slamming our pubic bones together, and calling to her, “I’m cumming, Maria, right now, oh, fuck. Cum with me, baby, cum for me.”

I hoped the walls in this building were solid and relatively noise-proof, because the two of us were shouting now as we came. I truly thought the building was shaking, like an earthquake, but it was my body trembling.

I was holding on to her, legs locked, trying to keep from falling down, until I could do it no more. I moved my hips just enough to pull my dick out of her, and slowly collapsed onto the floor, my upper body against the side of the bed. She fell forward, face down, onto the bed, legs hanging off on the floor.

I realized I was still saying, “Oh, shit, oh, shit”, half passed out. If I opened my eyes I could just see the curve of her butt hanging off the bed. It was still gorgeous.

She had more stamina than I. It took her about five minutes, but she got herself erect and went into the bathroom. I may have closed my eyes for a minute. I thought I could hear coffee perking. A minute later, now wearing a robe, she poked a head around the door frame to check on me.

“Are you alive? Say yes or no.”

I grunted. I figured that was sufficient for her to determine whether I was still among the living.

“Right, there’s coffee, if you want.”

How is it that some people are relentlessly upbeat in the morning? It wasn’t natural. After a few minutes I managed to get vertical and dressed, sort of, and stumble into the kitchen.

She was standing at the stove, humming. I’ll say that again. Humming. I don’t know how she was capable of that, but there it was.

“Coffee’s in the pot, cups in the cabinet above. Scrambled eggs okay?”

“I ask again, what have you done with Maria? Who are you, cheerful person?”

“C’mon, Sam, tell me you don’t feel great! I dare you.”

“I feel pleasantly and thoroughly exhausted. Emphasis on ’exhausted’. Where does this energy come from?”

She leaned down and gave me a very nice kiss. “Sam, I feel wonderful, really terrific. Like, happy or something, relaxed.”

I looked at her. She really did look wonderful, bouncing, almost glowing. I kind of envied her, it must be glorious to feel that way. I think this was a woman thing. They find the sex act energizing, after their initial collapse. Men have a powerful release, then are drained and regain their energy slowly. Not fair, really.

I got coffee, and that eventually improved my outlook. Slightly. The food helped, too.

She finished before I did, and poured some more coffee. She sat watching me with an amused half-smile on her face, while I finished my toast.

“I have to say, Sam, you weren’t exactly what I was expecting when I brought you home.”

“Did I do something wrong?” I asked.

“No, no, I mean you didn’t do the things I sort of expected you to do, because that’s what most other guys do. You were very sweet and caring and even tender. I don’t get a lot of that. And then there was the sex, which was fucking amazing!

“I was trying to count how many times I came, and I know it’s just not correct, but as a rough guess, say ten times. I mean, they weren’t all big Mount Vesuvius orgasms, but they were wonderful, and there were a couple that knocked me out flat. So, thank you. For everything, not just that. It was very nice.”

“It was very nice, and kinda not what I expected, either. Last night in the bar you were just a sexy girl with amazing eyes, but I was really pleased to find humor and intelligence and whimsy and wit. That was an unexpected pleasure. And the sex, well, words fail me. You are... adventurous and open-minded, and I don’t see that a lot. So, thank you. For winning the bet.“

She covered her face with her hands. “I’m so embarrassed. I wish I hadn’t told you that, ’cause now I feel bad.”

“It’s okay. I’ve had worse letdowns, and this one turned out very nice indeed. Oh, hold still, you’ve got a bit of keratin in your hair.”

Her face went blank, her shoulders relaxed, and her arms fell into her lap.

“Maria, what do you hear?”

“I don’t hear anything. I hear you.”

“Don’t you hear the traffic outside the building?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Good, because I want you to hear only my voice. I’m going to say something important and I want you to listen carefully. When I explain it, you’ll come to agree that what I say makes sense and you’ll want to do it.

“Sometime in the next two weeks, Maria, you will come to realize that this habit you’ve developed of going out to bars and picking guys up to bring them home to have rough sex with you is dangerous, that it could cause you harm, or worse.

“It’s not that you shouldn’t have sex, Maria, but it’s a problem if you’re choosing the men you pick up because they look like they’re into domination and rough sex. Choose your partners more carefully, and ask them if they’d work with you to have the kind of sex you like to have.

“But you also know that there is probably a reason why you choose to be submissive and treated roughly. You will decide that you need to find someone, a psychiatrist or a psychologist, you can talk with to help you understand where these urges came from, and whether you really need them to have fulfilling sex. Do you remember what I just said, Maria?”

“Yes. Two weeks. Talk to someone about this.”

“That’s right, Maria. You are beautiful and smart and funny and sexy, and you deserve so much more than being someone’s toy. I really enjoyed our time together, Maria, and I hope you did, too. Perhaps we might do that again sometime.”

“Yes, that would be nice.”

“Now I’m going to clap my hands once and you will again become aware of your surroundings. You won’t remember that I talked to you about this after you awake, but you will remember what was said, as if they were your own thoughts, Maria.”

I clapped my hands together under the table, and she shook her head once as if she had started to nod off. I went on talking.

“I almost wasn’t going to go to dinner with them, and then I wouldn’t have met you. That would have been a crime.”

“Oh, yes, right.”

“This has been wonderful, Maria. I’m glad we met, and I’m really glad we got a chance to spend some time together. It was amazing, and I’ll never forget it.

“Let me make sure I have everything. Like shoes, I forgot to put on my shoes. I’ll do that, then I’ll leave you to get a nap.”

I went in the bedroom to get my shoes, and when I came out she was clearing the dishes. She reached up and gave me a sweet, long kiss. “I’m glad we did this, Sam. Perhaps another time?”

I smiled and gave a little wave, as she watched me walk down the hall and out the door. As the door closed, I heard her phone ring. Probably the rest of the Know-It-Alls, checking in to get the dirty sex details.