Sorry in Savannah
Zach Walker’s first job at the Savannah Inquisitor? Empty his new office. It was small, painted in pastel blue and smelled of old cardboard. On every horizontal surface and across most of the floor, randomly stacked boxes of letters, one atop of another, filled the tiny room. Good thing Zach was young. The rest of the workers at the Sy, the insider’s name for the Inquisitor, were at least forty years older than him.
Zach was also the school counselor for district 21. The teenagers of Savannah faced many troubles, drugs, homicides, gangs, bullying, peer pressure, and an uncertain future. Yet, the position of school counselor was only part time.
That’s why after spending six years in college, Zach, covered in dust and sweat, moved the boxes from his office to their new home, a beat up shipping container. Tall and thin, had he been a girl, you would call him lithe. In person, though, Zach exuded an unmistakable raw masculinity and a cultish sense of presence.
“Here ya go sport,” said Mr. Roy Nussbaum, editor-in-chief of the Sy. He handed Zach an ancient laptop. “Bernice had it at her house. Sorry if it still smells a little like her cats. Her password is mailmomma, one word all lower case.”
That was Zach’s new job. He was the new Bernice. Actually, the new “Dear Lilly,” an advice column that Bernice had written for the past sixty-five years. There were perks. It was full time and came with an office but, Zach could work from anywhere and any 40 hours of the week he chose.
The elderly workforce at Sy was betting the future of the paper on Zach. Not so much on him, but on “Dear Lilly.” The advice column has been for over a decade the singular reason residents still read the Sy rather than the Chronicle, the big paper in town. For Zach, it was extra income while he did his, real job, helping young people survive into adulthood.
Things were working well, except that Zach was working nonstop. His job as a counselor demanded hundreds of hours more than the thirty-two the school district allocated. His job at the paper took only a few moments, but he still had to log in forty hours a week. Slowly, day by day, Zach’s soul withered away. It seemed he never got enough rest. The psychological toll of shouldering the weight of the world was wearing the young man out, and he was too close to the problem to see it.
He started each day logging onto the paper and listening to a dozen letters to “Dear Lilly,” picking his top three and submitting them for approval to Mr. Nussbaum, who wouldn’t be at the office for three more hours. Zach spent those hours reviewing his case load for the school district; file after file of troubled kids, abused children, children to broken homes, children of drug addicts, children that were drug addicts, and on, and on. Zach wept over every one.
Zach had been the child of a broken family. His father and mother divorced when he was just a small boy. Suddenly, his hero was no longer part of his life. Zach felt he wouldn’t have made it if it wasn’t for his older half brother Tyler. A debt he felt could only be repaid by helping other kids in need. Too bad the price was too high.
On Thursday morning, a dreary, weary, and unshaven Zach Walker logged into Mail Momma’s account and started the auto reader:
“Dear Lilly”
“I have never told a soul what I have done. I am only writing to you because I’m getting older and I am afraid that if I don’t do something now, I will spend the rest of my days lonely and alone.”
Zach looked up from his cold cereal. Even in the robot voice of the auto reader, it sounded like this person had it worse than him. The letter continued:
“In high school, I was a girl that never said no and I got pregnant because of it.”
“Sounds fucking familiar,” said Zach to the laptop as he poured his coffee. He had twenty-nine cases of underage, unwed pregnancies in his district.
“I’m not sorry about that. My oldest, Mr. T, owns his own company and is doing well. I married a man for his size. Take that either way you want both are true. He could be caring, loving, and strong. But he was also a perfectionist and a prude with a hot temper and a hair trigger. When I was with him, I never felt more safe or more afraid.”
“So high school slut marries daddy-figure and it doesn’t work out? I guess you didn’t see that coming,” said Zach, putting his dishes into the sink.
“We broke up because I cheated. Mr. Smooth was black. Not that it mattered to me, but it mattered to my husband. It turns out he was from my husband’s work.”
“Mr. Smooth was my husband’s supervisor. I suppose he read my husband’s file, maybe? I don’t know, but we met at the gym and he just seemed to know me. He was so smooth and such a good listener I felt I could tell him everything, and I did.”
“The next thing I knew, we were having sex regularly. At first I felt guilty, but no one was getting hurt, so I just kept my little secret. Things with Mr. Smooth were getting wild and bold. I guess I like it rough.”
“Wow, high school slut, who likes big cock, wants rough sex from strangers,” yelled Zach sarcastically while he put on his tie in the half bath.
“Until he taped us, I can’t believe I agreed, and after that, no more Mr. Smooth. He didn’t return my calls. He never came back to the gym. I tried looking him up online, but the name he gave me was fake.”
“It turns out that it was a prank. Mr. Smooth tried to seduce the wives of the employees from his work. Everyone else saw me on my knees and begging for it before they accidentally emailed my husband the video.”
Zachery sat back down at the table.
“I guess I could blame Mr. Smooth,” said the laptop. “But it takes two to tango. My ex-husband has his faults, but he didn’t deserve that. He raised my son, and he gave me another beautiful baby boy, Mr. Z, who just graduated with a master’s degree. He’s had to grow up without a father because of what I did.”
“I haven’t even dated another man since my ex left. My ex and I have an understanding. He can’t forgive me, but he still loves me. Every time we talk, he encourages me to move on.”
Zach hadn’t taken a breath in so long his body’s automatic response kicked in, leaving him gasping for air.
“It’s just that, I know if I do, it will kill him and I don’t want to hurt him anymore. Should I move on?
Sorry in Savannah”
That was his mother! It had to be. Mr. T owns his own business, just like Tyler and Mr. Z, like Zach, had recently graduated with a master’s degree. What were the odds Zach would have a full confession from his mother in five hundred words or less?
Did she know he was the new “Dear Lilly?” He hadn’t told her. It was part of his contract not to reveal his true identity. Still, he wondered if his mother had sent that letter, hoping he would read it since she knew he worked at the paper.
The morning was a blur. In Zach’s exhausted state, he was already having trouble fulfilling his caseload requirements. By noon, his mind was in an endless loop. He saw his cheating mother in the face of every pregnant teenager. It took all his willpower and training to keep him from screaming at everyone of them. Sound bites of the letter haunted his thoughts, “perfectionist and a prude… prude.” Am I a prude? He wondered.
“Mr. W? Mr. W, hello Mr. Walker, earth calling Mr. Walker,” said Denise Smalls, a beautiful girl with long straightened hair and a gorgeous smile. She was one of Zach’s regulars. It was unusual for a girl this troubled to still be in school at her age.
Zach had figured when she turned eighteen she would have quit school. She would be just another young woman working hard to survive without an education, trying and failing to improve her life. Except she stayed in school and in a few weeks, Ms. Denise Smalls will be a high school graduate.
“Sorry Dee Dee, I am a little lost in my thoughts today,” said Zach.
“Mr. W, how about I help you instead of you helping me?” said Denise, leaning forward thrusting her extra large ebony breasts against her tight Lycra top.
“Wow, thank you, Dee Dee.” Zach never stopped to think that Denise got her nickname from the size of her boobs. “I really appreciate the offer and under any other circumstances, I think spending time with you would be heavenly. Even if we didn’t get caught, which we would, and I didn’t go to jail, which I would. You would eventually regret it and mostly resent me for giving into temptation.”
The entire time Zach was talking, Dee Dee was massaging her right tit and licking her teeth. “The only one with regrets will be you for passing up the best piece of ass you’re ever gonna see,” said Denise. To prove her point, she stood at Zach’s desk and pulled up her skirt to flash him her pussy before she strutted out of the room.
Zach’s cock jumped to life before the door even closed. With the smell of the young woman’s vagina still lingering in his nose, he said, “Christ, I need to get laid.” Except there wasn’t any time, and chances of getting time were slim. He thought about Dee Dee. If he got up now, he could catch her. There would be other students around, but he could say he needed her to sign her community service paperwork.
She would know exactly what he wanted.
Zach would feel naked in front of the students with his deepest desires exposed. They would make silly remarks, but he didn’t care. He rationalized his defense instead. He was only six years older than her; she was over eighteen, and once she graduated they would no longer be in a student/teacher situation. The lies, he told himself. All he had to do was bring her back to his office.
Dee Dee would return, knowing there were no papers to sign. She would be coy, but only just for a minute. She was already ready right now.
Right now! Zach was yelling inside his head. Right now! There is a beautiful young woman who wants to fuck you. She is right outside the door. Zach licked his lips and rubbed his throbbing erection through his slacks. Zach’s world was spinning out of control. His breath sped up, his nostrils flared. He swallowed hard at his dry throat. He thought about Dee Dee’s beautiful eyes and her perfect smile.
She would run her long nails through his dark hair. She would kiss him, yes she would, but she would rub his crotch the entire time. As soon as he needed to catch his breath, she would go to her knees. His pale cock would slip quickly past her soft lips and he would feel the world shaking sensation of her hot wet tongue licking the underside of his rock hard shaft.
Zach had wanted nothing in his life as badly as he wanted that girl right now. She was his for the taking. He could hold her hair and force himself inside her until he got the release he so desperately needed, shooting his seed deep into her mouth. He imagined the slurping sound she would make sucking on him while he pulled out just in time to glaze her face with one last blast of creamy jism. Reality returned when he gripped the cold steel of the doorknob.
“Oh my god,” he said. It was like the girl had given him some kind of illness. He was shivering, with a cold sweat, his heart was racing and his knees were weak. “Everyone uses Dee Dee, you got to set the example. You got to prove to her she is a worthwhile human being. You got to be the… prude.” He put his head against the doorframe and exhaled.
Zach spent the rest of the day in a daze. The words of his mother and images of Dee Dee swirled in his mind. He was stuck and full of doubt. Did his mom really write that letter? He had no proof. Did Dee Dee really mean to offer sex? It might have been some teenage game. He was so lost he missed the deadline to send three letters for “Dear Lilly” to Mr. Nussbaum.
“Damn it Zach,” Mr. Nussbaum yelled into the phone. “This is not a game, not a toy, and we are all counting on you. We will not tread water waiting for you to get your shit together. If you will not take this job seriously, we will find someone who will.”
“Yes Mr. Nussbaum,” said Zach. He wondered if telling the truth would get him anywhere. He decided it wouldn’t.
“Yes Mr. Nussbaum, will not cut it Zach! Presses roll at 2 AM. The last call for submissions due is at 1. Mr. Jennings is the late night copy editor. I will phone him so he will know to look for your submission. If your column isn’t in tomorrow’s edition, you are fired. You miss another deadline, you are fired. Did I make myself clear?”
“Very clear Mr. Nussbaum.”
“Good, because we will not have this conversation again.”
The phone went dead in Zach’s hands. He already picked out three letters. A woman seeking advice on how to throw out her daughter’s deadbeat, live-in boyfriend. A man whose mother wanted her ashes spread in a shopping mall. And an elderly woman was seeking advice on how to tell her childhood friend that she hated her clam dip. It took forty-five minutes to write the lot. Not his best work by far, but Jennings had enough time to demand a rewrite if he felt the copy was too thin.
Zach was on edge, nervously waiting to hear from Jennings while in his strained mind, the images of his mother and Dee Dee coalesced. He could see his mom. Dressed in Dee Dee’s tight stretchy top, telling him she was going to help him feel good. In his mind, Zach imagined his mother pulling up her skirt−
The phone rang in Zach’s hands. He jumped backward, throwing his phone into the cushions of the couch. It was his mother’s ring tone. He had to compose himself. She was making an innocent phone call to him. She did not know about his sudden secret knowledge. Zach’s lips trembled as he spoke.
“Hi mom.”
“Are you okay?” said the calming and reassuring voice of his mother.
“Sorry mom, I had a crazy day at work and I was waiting on a phone call, and you called−”
“Slow down, Zackie, take a deep breath. Now, what happened at work?”
“A girl made a pass at me.”
“What, are you this worked up because a teenage girl flirted with you? Son, you are in the wrong profession. Teenage girls are the worst and I should know I was one.”
In Zach’s mind, he was screaming; I fucking know, you goddamned lying slut! Instead, Zach told his mother. “There was that, and I missed a deadline at the paper and pissed off Mr. Nussbaum.”
“Yeah, Roy can be a real ball buster.”
“Mom?”
“Oh, sorry honey, I never told you. Mr. Nussbaum fired me when I was in high school. I met Roy on career day and he offered me after-hours work, tiding up at the paper. I didn’t really clean anything. I took the trash out of his office and put it in the janitor’s closet. Once he found out, I was out of a job. Not really news worthy, −giggle− pardon the pun.”
Zach’s blood ran cold. His breath froze in his lungs. She had sent him that letter. She knew he was Dear Lilly. Oh my god, why is my mother telling me she is a complete slut? Zach asked himself.
“Zach?”
“Uh-hum?”
“I said, do you want to have dinner with me tomorrow night? You are really out of sorts. I need to see this girl that has messed up my little boy so badly.”
Zach wanted to scream, mom, if you want to see the woman that’s messed me up so badly then go look in the mirror! Somehow he managed a polite, “That’s not necessary mother, but the answer is yes. I would love to go to dinner tomorrow night.”
“That’s wonderful honey. I have some big news to tell you, Ta-ta.”
“Mom? Hello? Mom?” The phone was dead. What big news? Why couldn’t she tell him now? He was in no shape to wait until tomorrow.
Unable to withstand the suspense any longer, Zach called Jennings. “What did you think of the Dear Lilly column?”
“I sent it to print a half an hour ago.”
“Well, you’re the night editor. What did you think?”
“What did I think? You’re Loraine Walker’s kid, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, so?”
“Exactly, you’re golden, but you don’t want to miss too many deadlines. There are limits, you know what I mean? Now get some sleep.” Again, Zach looked at a dead phone. He had no clue what Jennings meant and the fact that he called out his mom by name suddenly made Zach sick to his stomach.
Two things happened at 2 AM. The presses rolled at the Savannah Inquisitor and Zach Walker passed out from exhaustion. His sleep was dreamless, restless, a flat inky void. His waking was a jolt that caused him to jump up in his bed. It felt as if his skin had been ripped from his body and then slapped back on.
Zach was replaying Jennings’ conversation in his mind. ‘You’re Loraine Walker’s kid, aren’t you?’ Maybe it had nothing to do with his mother. It might be his name. One would think it’s a unique phenomenon to realize your entire existence has been based on a lie, except Zach now has had the pleasure of that experience twice.
In the center of town is a statue of a Confederate general, and Zachary’s name sake. It was awkward to have this unwanted and unearned celebrity status. As a child, it blatantly gave him preferential treatment, and the explanation was that he’s a Walker, as if his supposed superiority was an obvious fact.
Zach had to talk himself back from the ledge. Your mother’s not a whore, Dee Dee was just being a teenager playing at adulthood. The reason that Mr. Nussbaum gave you a job and didn’t fire you is because he is “old Savannah” and you are a Walker. That’s that, case closed, Zach told himself.
Until his mother answered the door. How could he have not seen it sooner? The woman had slut written all over her, from her hair to her makeup, and her push-up bra with her little black cocktail dress. It was obvious to the entire world that Loraine was a cheap whore. Dad’s boss didn’t have to read his file, he just had to look at her and know she was an easy make.
“Zach? Don’t tell me you are still daydreaming about that high school girl,” said Loraine.
“No, I was thinking about you,” he said with a smile.
“Aw, aren’t you the sweetest thing?” said Loraine, giving her son a pinch on the cheek just like she had done many times before. Except now her fingers felt like icy claws ready to rip away his face from his skull. “I hope you are hungry because I am starving. Let’s go in my car.”
“So, what’s the big news?” Zach asked the second he sat inside the cool car. His mother insisted on having an air conditioner for the garage just so the car seat would be nice and cool when she got ready to leave.
“I want to save the surprise until after dinner. A woman has to build up a little suspense.”
Zach wanted to ask, how long should I wait before you tell me you’re just a slut? He bit down so hard he could hear his teeth squeak instead.
“What has gotten in to you?” Loraine asked in genuine concern. “You are working too hard, young man. I wish you would let me pay off your student loan.”
“We’ve been through this. You have already paid more than your fair share and even if you paid off my loan, the state doesn’t pay me enough to support myself. If I want to help kids, I have to work another job and the paper is as good as any.”
“God, you’re as hardheaded as your father,” Loraine said with more than a little sarcasm.
“How are things at the bank, mom?”
“That’s my big news.” Loraine rolled her big green eyes toward her son and gave him the wickedest of grins.
Dinner was the finest in Savannah. Zach’s mother insisted on only the best for their big night out. Over coffee and chocolate cake, Zach was telling Loraine about school board cutbacks unfairly putting low-income students at a disadvantage. When mid sentence she blurted out, “I’m getting a promotion.”
“Okay, I take it that’s the big news,” said Zach.
“Not exactly. The job is regional vice president, comes with a hefty raise, and it’s in Atlanta.”
“I thought you loved Savannah more than money?”
“Well, there is a man. He’s your father’s old boss, and he lives in Atlanta.”
An explosion of emotions rocked through Zach. He wanted to jump up screaming at the top of his lungs about his worthless whore and slut of a mother. “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.” If the Academy of Motion Pictures offered acting awards to ordinary people, Zach would have crushed it in the role of ‘betrayed son still casually conversing with his mother.’
“I’m not. That’s the crazy part. He called me up, and we just reconnected.”
“Reconnected? I thought you said this man was dad’s old boss?” Zach asked before he could stop himself.
Loraine turned bright red. It was her turn to be off balance. “I, I meant reconnected as in I knew him from when he, I mean I knew him through your father.” Loraine smiled, pleased with her recovery. “You don’t look happy.”
Zach had been racking his brain trying to find some clue that would prove his mother had intentionally written Dear Lilly, knowing the letter would go to him. Suddenly, he was reeling with anger and resentment. He was thinking, should I be happy that you reconnected with the man that violated you just so he could humiliate my father and break up my home?
“What about you, mom, are you happy?” asked Zach. He put his fork down. Up to that moment, he didn’t think any news from his mother would put off his appetite for dessert but, he would have been wrong.
“I don’t know, it’s just so crazy you know,” said Loraine, giggling and giddy like a teenage girl. “That’s why I asked you to go to dinner with me. I thought I could use an educated second opinion because I am not thinking straight right now.”
“Ah, well, in that case as a counselor we try to let our subjects find their own path,” said Zach as an idea of the perfect vindication electrified his mind. “You know, hypnotherapy might solve a case like yours.”
“Does that even work?”
“I will be honest, mom. It has mixed results. It works for people who want hypnotherapy to work and it doesn’t work for people that feel hypnotherapy is a load of horseshit. So I guess the first question is, do you think hypnotherapy is a legitimate form of psychological medicine and would you be willing to commit to a series of hypnotic sessions?”
“You can do that. I mean, would you be willing to do that for me?”
“You’re my mother. Of course I would do whatever,” Zach said with a soft smile.
“You said a series of sessions. I am kind of looking for answers now.”
“It doesn’t take any special setup. Once we get home, I could try to put you under and we’ll know if hypnotherapy is an option for you.”
Loraine couldn’t wait to get her son back to her island neighborhood home. It had been a foreclosure that her other son Tyler had renovated for her at cost. Though it may have been small, the view was priceless. She had moved there after Zach had left for college.
Loraine led her youngest son in from the air-conditioned garage. Dark and unfamiliar, the house smelled of a woman. The earthy, floral scent filled his nose. The aroma was different, but the sensation was the same as when Dee Dee pulled up her skirt. An uncontrollable shiver shot down Zach’s spine. His mother’s warm grip led him deep inside her inner sanctuary.
Surprised by his mother’s enthusiasm, Zach would have never imagined her to be so eager to be hypnotized. Soon he would know if Loraine had sent the letter to Dear Lilly and if she did, was he the intended recipient?
An end table lamp cast a warm glow, illuminating Loraine’s eclectic collection of sentimental items yet left most of the room in shadows. “Ok mom, first thing is to just be comfortable. Understand that you are completely safe. Nothing is going to happen to you and I can’t make you say or do anything that you wouldn’t normally say or do. How do you feel?”
“Excited!”
“Mom, if you want to be put under, you need to relax. Let’s just take a few minutes to unwind. While we wait, I will give you a foot massage. How does that sound?”
“Heavenly,” said Loraine, still very thrilled.
Zach held onto one foot and placed the other in his lap. In search of warmth, Loraine burrowed her nylon clad tootsie deep between her son’s legs. It nestled beside his cock and balls. This intimate contact with his mother was more than Zach had expected. He doubted his ability to follow through with his plans. As he slowly stretched his mother’s ankles, he thought he had probably made a mistake. Loraine sighed and breathed deeply while Zach rubbed her tired feet. Without thinking, she pumped her free foot absent mindedly stroking his erection.
Zach nervously swallowed, and thought, she wants this. He suspected his mother was going through a mid-life crisis and she was looking for something missing in her life. He switched to his mom’s other foot, placing the first one directly on his cock. Zach looked at the dainty foot. It wasn’t even as big as his hard on. He could see through the sheer fabric of her hose that she painted her toenails a deep maroon color. In the low light, they looked almost black. He continued to massage in between his mother’s toes while he marveled at the graceful curves of her slender ankle and smooth calf.
Zach took a breath and felt a quiver in his gut. He looked up at the familiar face of the woman he thought he knew, his beautiful mother. Her eyes were closed and a slight smile played across her full lips. Temptation pulled Zach’s gaze back down to her knees, and the quiver in his gut lurched into a spasm. At that moment, he understood she was on her knees when she was cheating on his father.
It was one thing to accuse someone of a misdeed. It was nothing more than a label. For example adulterer; it was just another word, a name for a crime said aloud, spoken, just sounds in the air. It was entirely different to know that his mother had knelt on those knees begging for another man’s seed, and to know she took another man into her mouth, the same mouth that she used to kiss Zach good night. He vividly imagined his mother’s mouth full of a stranger’s cum while she told Zach she loved him.
It’s amazing how closely anger relates to passion. This time it wasn’t temptation but condemnation that drew Zach’s eyes to his mother’s legs. Her short cocktail dress had ridden up during Zach’s massage, allowing him to see her shapely thighs. All he would have to do would be to swing her leg slightly to the side and he could see the heart of her lies. Instead, he covered her with a throw he had pulled from off the back of the couch.
“Okay mom, don’t open your eyes. You are nice and relaxed. We are going to take a couple of deep breaths. Nice and slow, take two big deep breaths with me,” said Zach. He watched Loraine’s breast rise and fall and in moments she was deeply under Zach’s spell.
“Can you hear me Loraine?” it felt awkward for Zach to call his mom by name.
“Yes.”
“You remember wanting to be hypnotized to see if going to Atlanta was what you truly wanted to do?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, before you can find out what Loraine wants, you need to find out who Loraine is. That makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Good, you like to say yes, don’t you, Loraine?”
“Yes.”
“It’s easy to say yes. Isn’t it Loraine?”
“Yes.”
“Do you like being easy, Loraine?”
“Yes.”
“Good girl Loraine.”
“Yes.”
Zach thought, that really wasn’t a question, mom. I guess once you get started; you can’t slow down.
“I want you to think back, back, back, to when you are a young woman in high school.”
“Yes.”
“Did you have a boyfriend?”
“I had lots and lots of boyfriends.”
The image of Dee Dee being used by so many returned to Zach’s mind. Dee Dee was such a beautiful young woman. Why would she let people treat her like trash? “Why do you have lots of boyfriends?”
“Because I like boys.”
You can’t blame her for being honest, thought Zach. “What do you like about having a boyfriend?”
“I like to suck his wiener.”
Wiener? What the hell, how old is mom imagining herself to be? As soon as Zach thought about it, he decided he didn’t really want to know. “Cock, Loraine, we don’t say wiener, we say cock.”
“Cock.”
Zach was already beyond the edge. “So time goes by, you get older. Do you have a steady boyfriend?”
“I have six.”
“Six steady boyfriends at one time?”
“No, I only have one steady boyfriend at a time, but they always break up with me.”
“Do you know why they break up with you?”
The quick answers suddenly stopped. Loraine looked like she had fallen asleep with her eyes open. Zach was thinking he should prod her for an answer when finally.
“They break up with me because I cheat on them.”
Zach imagined a younger version of his mother, the school slut. Guys in the locker room joking if you need to get laid, see Loraine! He wondered how many times her lovers caught her cheating. Zach’s years of casually watching porn made it very easy to imagine his mother being serviced by many young men at once. These daydreams caused his erection to throb harder. “At some point, you stopped cheating. When did that happen?”
“When I got pregnant.”
“Do you know the father?”
“It’s my boss, Roy.”
Zach would have never thought that Mr. Nussbaum would ever have an affair with a teenager. However, now that he thought about it, Tyler and Roy look a lot alike. Does everyone in town know? Is he the last one to find out? No, if people knew the newspaper editor had sex with a high school girl. Protesters would march in the streets to get this womanizer thrown in prison for crimes he committed. Wouldn’t they?
“Did you marry Roy?”
“No, he was already married.”
“Did you get married?”
“Yes, I married Big Dick.”
“Who is Big Dick?”
“Richard Walker, he had a great big dick, and he’s a Walker.”
“How did you meet Big Dick?”
“He was the captain of the football team. After every win, the coach would let us cheerleaders ride on the team bus.”
“So you, what? Sucked off Big Dick, and he fell in love with you?”
“No, I told Big Dick he got me pregnant, and I needed him to pay for an abortion.”
Zach paused. His lust and anger had been pulling him around by the nose. Until he imagined life without Tyler, he shuddered. On the verge of tears, he thought about not having his big brother, the boy that stood up and became the man of the house. The big brother who had always been there for Zach. He was the big brother that was more of a father than Zach’s real dad. He was the big brother that had worked so hard his whole life long and built mom, no, Tyler built the whore Loraine, her multi-million dollar house. The same Loraine who had wanted to have Tyler aborted.
“What happened?”
“Big Dick said we should get married.”
“Did you marry Big Dick?”
“Yes.”
“What happened?”
“When my son was born, Big Dick found out he wasn’t the father.”
“What happened next?”
“Big Dick is a good man. He loves me and our son.”
“Are you still married?”
“No, I cheated on Big Dick.”
Zach could see that Loraine was getting emotional, and he really didn’t want his mother to wake up now. “Relax Loraine, just breathe deep. You are only reporting the facts you are not reliving history. Can you talk about cheating on Big Dick without getting upset?”
“Yes, Big Dick worked on a construction crew…”
Zach waited. Maybe Loraine couldn’t talk about it.
“He worked for Mr. Randall,” Loraine began again. “Mr. Randall seduced the wives of the employees.”
Zach waited again. That’s it? “Did he seduce you?”
“Yes.”
“What happened after that?”
“My husband found out and we divorced.”
Zach wondered what happened to the girl that was so proud of her many romances that she would now be so quiet on the subject. “Is that all?”
“No, they really hurt my husband. He did nothing wrong. He is a good man.”
“Loraine, do you remember why you wanted to be hypnotized?”
“Yes.”
“You wanted to see if moving to Atlanta was what you truly wanted to do?”
“Yes.”
“So you aren’t having sex and you want to go to Atlanta for sex?”
“I have lots of sex. I fuck my boss, I fuck my clients, I fuck the men I meet at bars, I−”
“That’s alright Loraine, I understand. Why do you want to go to Atlanta?”
“Because Mr. Randall asked me to come.”
“You said Mr. Randall hurt your husband. You said your husband is a good man. Why do you want to be with Mr. Randall?”
“Because he is the only man that treats me the way I should be treated.”
Apparently Loraine is still seeing Mr. Randall, and she had put more thought into her situation than she let on. Zach looked at his mother again. By now, her skirt had worked its way up around her waist. He could see the dark patch of pussy hair through her pantyhose.
Her words rang in his head. She is fucking everyone, but no one treats this slut like a whore. They all wine and dine her and they bore her with that. She mentioned she liked it rough. Zach tried to make a mental image of what ‘rough’ looked like to his mother.
He thought about how she would look with a gag in her mouth. Maybe mom enjoys being spanked. He imagined putting her sexually charged body over his knee and giving her what she deserved. Her sweaty skin would feel slippery as she squirmed. Zach’s cock throbbed. He had needed release all day long. Zach wondered if his mother got off being yelled at and degraded? Was that the magic that this Mr. Randall pulled to break up Zach’s home? He decided that could wait for another session.
Zach caught his breath. He was ready to pop, but his mother calmly sat waiting for his next question. Mr. Randall had nothing to do with this, Zach concluded. It was only a matter of time before Loraine cheated on his father. Loraine had been unfaithful to everyone she has ever had a relationship with.
The weight of all those lies is pushing her away to where no one knows her. There she can debase herself for the rest of her days. She must have a fucked up childhood to cause her to act like this.
Zach wondered if Dee Dee will be the same way. That girl had really got under his skin and she knew it. A mental image of Dee Dee’s perfect youthful legs and her exposed sex still gave Zach chills.
He needed to focus and deal with the matter at hand. Zach looked at this whore who had given birth to him. The blanket had slipped from her open legs. He had to know if he was just another pawn in Loraine’s little games.
“Did you ask anyone else for advice?”
“I sent a letter to my old friend Bernice. She has always been the one I have turned to, but she didn’t write me back. I don’t know why.”
“If Bernice told you going to Atlanta was a mistake?”
“I wouldn’t go.”
“Whatever Bernice tells you to do, you will do?”
“Yes.”
“That’s right. You’re the girl that likes to say yes.”
“Yes.”
“Tell me Loraine, you and Bernice have been friends a long time. Does she have a special name for you?”
“She calls me Sunshine. She used to sing ‘You are my sunshine’ to me when I cried.”
Zach hadn’t thought about his mom crying. She seemed to enjoy whoredom. It didn’t sound like she was crying about it at all. The cost of doing business, that was what Mrs. Eldersburg called it. The emotional toll of living a life based entirely on physical stimuli with no psychological nourishment. Zach thought about all the times Dee Dee had cried in his office while she recalled the episodes of her troubled life. He preferred to think about her at happier times. The silly faces she made that always caught him off-guard or the funny stories she told him that made him laugh. Dee Dee is just so perfect.
God, I need to get laid, Zach thought. He reached up and carefully pulled his mother’s skirt back down and wrapped her legs with the throw. “Loraine, when I tell you, you will wake up. But we are going to have many sessions to get you the answers that you need. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
Sunshine, it sounds like your heart is saying no, but other parts of you are saying go. My advice, Sunshine, is to brighten the corner where you are. I promise you that there is someone who knows how you need to be treated. And you don’t have to move on to find him, because he has already found you.