Special Counseling
By D.T and Mr Stepford
Chapter 6
She woke after a restless dream of wandering through a maze full of mirrors. Her reflection kept changing from Jak to Jacqueline and back. Who was she? Which one was the real her? She tried to focus on getting through the day. Mail call was held during lunch and she was surprised when her name was called. After lunch there was time outside and she sat on a bench to open and read her letter. Most of it was legal mumbo jumbo but the sentence that caught her attention was “On the recommendation of the warden, you will be granted an early release pending your completion of the Special Counseling program.” Whoa. Like every other girl here she’d wanted out, but she figured that wouldn’t happen till she served her full sentence. That had seemed so far off to her that she hadn’t let herself think about it. She had nowhere to go, no family waiting for her, nothing. One of the guards came to tell her she had a visitor. Probably her lawyer. She hadn’t seen the guy since she’d been sentenced and, well, she hadn’t been on her best behavior that day. She followed the guard into the room with the visiting booths and sat down, just like she’d practiced last night. Looking up through the glass her heart kicked into overdrive when she saw that her visitor was definitely not her lawyer. Danny Boy was one of those guys who was into everything. He’d started as a bookie and loan shark and then got into fake IDs, then running drugs and weapons, and around the time of her arrest he’d added pimp to his list of services provided. Lindsey, the cellmate who’d taught her about sex, had been part of his stable. She picked up the handset and brought it to her ear. “Well, now,” Danny Boy said in a voice that made her skin crawl, “if it isn’t little Jak, all grown up.” Oh, God, she realized, if he’s got me in his sights, I’m better off dead. It was too early. Dinner wasn’t for another hour, but she wished with all her heart to be back in that pretty room with the Warden, the one place and the one person who’d made her feel safe.
“Hello Daniel” said Jak it wasn’t until these words left her lips that she realize what she called him. “Daniel ?” Danny Boy “Well your definitely not the same Jak I remember...with her pretty brown hair, nice nail and well Daniel...You gone all proper on me” for a second Jak didn’t know how to respond (Everyone speak kindly and gently to me AS I WOULD TO THEM) “Well I don’t know about that,I am just growing up is all” Jak replied “Well behind all your color spiked hair and tattoo’s you have always a bit of a prudish cunt...always refuse to true a trick...like you were too good for it or something” Danny Boy said. A mixture of rage and fear filled inside Jak as she begin to respond to Danny Boy “YOU SON....(Everyone speak kindly and gently to me AS I WOULD TO THEM)...I Going t....(Manners are wonderful to have. It makes a person beautiful)...I mean...(Manners are love, they are kindness, they are refinement)..I would kindly ask that would reframe from such disparaging remark about me, otherwise I’m afraid this conversation must come to a end”.....“Did I really just say that!” Jak thinks to herself. Danny Boy laugh out loud and claps his hand “Bravo..Bravo..You got this down...Playing the I’m reformed act right to the camera.. Jacqueline” Danny Boy said with a sarcastic tone. The sound of her proper name comforts Jak, as she looks up to the cameras a thought pops into her head “Is My Darl....the Warden watching me...of course he is...If I fall he will catch me...he will always catch me” “What do you want Daniel” Jacqu..Jak said with a new found since of confidence
Daniel leaned in close and said, “Why I want you, Jackie girl. Gotta sample the goods before I can set a price.” “Good-bye, Daniel,” she said hanging up the phone and standing up. She walked out of the area hoping nobody would notice her trembling. Once she was back in the cell block she dashed to the nearest garbage can and threw up. I can’t go back to that, she thought. I can’t. I need a plan. I need help. I need...Again the memory of the Warden catching her, saving her from a fall came to mind and her stomach settled a little. Asking for help, asking for anything was something she’d trained herself to stop doing. Yeah, and look where living in the moment and taking whatever you wanted got you. You’ve been a miserable bitch most of your life, emphasis on the miserable. (The more I act like a LADY, the HAPPIER I WILL BE). “Miss,” one of the guards said. “I have to take you to the infirmary now.” She nodded. “Thank you.”
“Almost done Dear” Said The Nurse as she applied the wax to Jak’s leg. Jak knew by now that soon after the feeling of hot wax being placed on her skin would come the pain of it being ripped off. Jak felt like every inch of her body had been wax from her arm pits to her legs to areas of the body that would be inappropriate to mention in polite society. Jak stared at her freshly painted nails to distract herself from the pain.“All finished dear” said the Nurse. As if almost to justify the pain she had just endured Jak sat up and rubbed her legs. “I...I never knew they could be this smooth(As a LADY My world is generally a more PLEASANT place)...SO SMOOTH” Jac..Jak thinks to herself as the memories of the pain drift away.
As Jacq...Jak admires her freshly wax eye brows in the mirror of the vanity table the conversation she had with Danny Boy kept rattling in her mind. It wasn’t the first time she was called a cunt, but she had never been called prudish or better then anything. She began to wonder why she didn’t go down the rode of prostitution or drug addiction like so many women in her situation. It not like she was raise with any sort of standards or respect for herself. “what truly stopped me?(A lady does not come from privilege she comes from within)...could it ...have...been... Jacqueline?... Has she truly been with me all my life” This thought is interrupted by the smell of the hairspray the Nurse was spraying on Jak hair. The Nurse had fix her hair in a bouffant style made famous by Jak namesake. “I.....do kinda look like her” Jacqu....Jak thinks to herself while admiring her beautiful new do (One beautiful Jacqueline deserve another)
Next can make up which after one lesson Jacque..Jak could handle like a pro. But after she put on her bra Jak notice that something was missing “Were are my panties?” Jak ask The Nurse “Oh you won’t be needing those” Replied the Nurse as she held up a pair of panty hose. Jak stepped back a bit, she had seen such a thing wore by hooker and stripper but had never wore them herself and could never understand the desire to do so. The mild pouty frown that formed on Jak lips show the Nurse that she was going to have to be a bit stern. “Now..Now we will be having none of that” Said the Nurse “Come here and put these on” Jak did as she was told.
Jak Struggle at first while thought of defiance bounce around in her head “I can’t for the life of me understand why anybody would wan...wa..w....is this made of SILK” that now all too familiar feeling of comfort hit Jacquel...Jak as She slid the pantyhose up her legs, feeling how silky smooth they were on her freshly waxed legs. “See that wasn’t so bad” said the Nurse “It wasn’t bad...in fact it’s..kinda....Wonderful” Jacquelin...Jak thinks to herself while admiring her new friends in the mirror. “Well dear we are not done yet, we need to finish dressing you” said the Nurse “Of course, My outfit” Jacqueline think to herself " I wonder how my lovely panty hose will feel underneath my slac.......OH SHIT” A feeling of Horror falls over Jak as she see through the reflection in the mirror what the Nurse is holding up " OH FUCK IT A DRESS!!!!!”
The last time she’d worn a dress had been for an Open House at one of her group homes. One of the volunteers had convinced her it would improve her chances of getting picked to live with a family that would eventually adopt her. Well, whatever that dress had been made of it had made her itch like crazy causing her to scratch and fidget so much the director sent her to one of the time out rooms until after the party was over. Ever since she’d started this Special Counseling she’d been forced to face issues she’d ignored or suppressed for years. Some of it, hell a LOT of it had been painful, and yet. The pain hadn’t lasted forever, and, she could hardly believe she was admitting it even to herself, it had felt, kinda good to cry some of the tears she’d been holding back for so long. She felt herself blushing at the
memories of the times she’d been in the Warden’s arms. What would it be like to have those arms always availble whenever she needed them? Get real! she told herself. The most you can hope for is that he’ll have some idea of what you can do when you finally get out of here. Wearing heels and makeup didn’t kill you and this won’t either. You’ve sucked up worse than this, so just deal already. The dress had a sleeveless fitted bodice and a full skirt. She stepped into it and tried to zip it up but she couldn’t quite reach it. “Would you help me, please?” she asked.
She got no response but soon she felt the zipper move. The farther the zipper went up the more the dress cling to her body. The material felt drastically different from her old dress, it was far from itchy; in fact it was the most comfortable thing she has ever felt on her body. Jacq…Jak was soon snapped of her comfortable bliss when she heard the zipper reach the top of the dress. “Thank You,” She said “Your Welcome Jacqueline” Jacqu…Jak was taken by the voice, she turn around and notice it was not the Nurse it was The Warden. Jacque…Jak was speechless “Well I must say” said the Warden as he position her in front of the mirror “You look amazing Jacqueline”. For second time in just a few brief moments the Warden used her proper name and she did nothing to correct him. It just didn’t seem right…she certainly didn’t look like Jak…she looked like Jacqueline.
Jacqueline slipped her panty hose covered feet in her heels and put on her diamond ring and her pearl earrings. She put off putting on her pearl necklace in silent hope her Darl…the warden would do the honors….and her wish came true . After the warden finish with her necklace he placed his hands on her shoulder.” His touch is so gentle” she thinks to herself “Gentle…Gentlemen…He’s a Gentleman I’m a Lady” the Warden leans over and whisper in her ear “Your more Beautiful then I imagined” A tranquil smile spread across Jacqueline blushing cheeks ….Beautiful…the word floated through Jacqueline mind as she fussed with pearl in the mirror. Other word begin to surface in her mind…..Elegant…..Proper…..Ladylike…words that once filled Jak with disgust now filled Jacqueline with bliss.
She remember that heavily piece, tattoo laden, spiky hair girl in the torn up misfits shirt and she felt a tinge of embarrassment “How did I ever consider that to be preferable to this?” Jacqueline thinks to herself ….she now realized that even with her disadvantage upbringing she could have done more to look and act in a dignified manner, a manner that reflexed her true self…a self no body else saw but her beloved darli….the warden. “Come now lets get your coat” said the Warden “Coat” said Jak…Jacqueline snapping out of her tranquil state of bliss “ Are we going somewhere” “Of Course” the Warden replies “Were else are we going practice dinner etiquette then at dinner ?”