A very classy looking sports car pulls into the driveway of an average house. A handsome man in his mid-thirties looks at the dwelling with a sigh of annoyance. Jordan rubs the lightly thin facial hair along his jaw-line and brushing his fingers through his finely groomed highlighted short hair.
“Right… Let’s get this over with. Sick of the games already.” He straightens his tie and coat before stepping out of the car and walking up the sidewalk up to the door.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Jordan waits a few seconds before the door opens to a charming gentleman wearing glasses and casual clothing, his own hair in a buzzcut. His build is a bit slimmer than Jordan’s, like that of a swimmer’s build, and is also a few years older than Jordan.
“Oh hey, Mr Clove!” He greets.
“Again. Call me Jordan.” Jordan dismisses. “I hate having to repeat myself, Vincent.”
“Right, okay. I always forget.” Vincent smiles and nods, “Come on in!”
“Yeeeeep.” Jordan huffs before he enters. Vincent’s house is rather simple yet classy. Normal décor, perfectly clean, open space, American modern, etc. Jordan comes to the den area, where Vincent does most of his ‘work’, and looks to the man himself, as if he doesn’t know he’s on his last warning.
“So, Jordan, it’s great to see you as always.” Vincent says initially, “How as it been going with you?”
“Yes, it’s going… Well, I don’t know how to go about doing this, Vincent.”
“How do you mean?”
“Well, you tell me, Vincent. You tell me.” Jordan crosses his arms, “It’s been well over a month since you told me your estimate about this research grant I financed. You’ve only given me a few reports—about half as many as my other clients. And now I have to come all the way to your house since you won’t pick up my calls.”
“Oh yeah! I’m glad you’re here, actually! Sorry, my phone’s been buggy. But I’ve managed to finally get somewhere with my latest project—”
“It’s not another hypnosis proposal, is it?” Jordan raises a brow, “I still haven’t forgotten when you tried that on me to get you more money.”
“Hahaha, yeah I know, it was still worth a shot.” Vincent says. As a profession, Vincent is actually a professional hypnotist that deals in psychotherapy and is a licensed psychologist. He is one of the leading hypnotists in the business, and has proven to be a little bit overzealous with his hard-earned abilities. So much so, that a while back, Vincent had attempted to put Jordan in a trance to not only have some sexy fun with him, but also to try and get a much more generous deadline and funding for his research; only to find out that Jordan has had years of mental training to strengthen his mental fortitude—when you’re working with expert hypnotists, one thing you need to watch out for is when they think they can control their boss’s mind to get higher on the corporate food chain.
“Because your little parlor tricks may have amazed my other colleagues, but I told you from the start that I have higher expectations.”
“Yes… Like you’ve told me half a dozen times.” He nods and goes to get what looks like a box made of polished wood. “So! I’d like to present you with… This.”
He opens the box before his employer. Within a velvet-lined compartment is a clean-cut plush doll. With simple button eyes, a simple mouth that could be opened up, made out of beige-colored fabric overall, the doll is also dressed in miniature office attire.
Other than that though, it looks like a plain and basic doll with no special feartures.
“…” Jordan reaches in and picks up the doll. He turns it around and then looked at Vincent with an estranged look, “Are you kidding me?”
“No, I mean, seriously.” Jordan tosses the doll back into its box, “You mean to tell me I’ve funded your grant, waited for your progress, received little reports at all, stalled my superiors on more than one occasion… For some dollar-store toy?”
“No, it’s not some doll.” Vincent defends, “I’ve been looking into the branch of utilizing voodoo dolls as a new branch of hypno-therapy.”
“Voodoo dolls? Oh my God…” Jordan scowls as he leans his head back and rubs his brow.
“Okay, look, I know it sounds nuts—”
“Vincent, I told you right from the start—”
“It’s not a joke, trust me! I’ve been researching this one other therapist called Professor Paraphim who swears by them.”
“… Paraphim. You mean the philanthropist?”
“Yes! I’ve been following his work and even sat in on a few classes and sessions of his. The work is a bit… Complicated. There’s a lot of things I’m still fuzzy about. But I THINK I’m getting the jist of it.” Vincent picks up the doll from its box, “So far, this is the prototype of the work so far.
Jordan scowls lightly a bit at Vincent, but looks at the doll consentingly. Vincent DOES have a decent track record to go by, and Professor Paraphim is a renowned magician and one of the top-most successful psychiatrists in the country…
“Listen, if it doesn’t work, I’ll repay you the research grant. Hand-on-my-heart.” Vincent assures him.
“Pfft. Really.” Jordon scoffs, “You’re going to pay the $12,000 I paid you to join a magical sewing class.”
“Yeah! No problem!”
“… Alright. Fine. You have 10 minutes to prove you’re not joking.”
“Excellent. So! First thing I’m gonna need: your hair.” Vincent says as he holds his hand out.
“My what?” Jordan quirks a brow.
“Don’t you know how this works? The doll needs a DNA sample to activate.” Jordan just gives a skeptical leer, “Come on, you said 10 minutes to prove it. And if it works, we can just sign the agreement and get rolling.”
“Right, fine.” Jordan sighs as he rolls his eyes. He reaches into his lush hair and pinches a single strand of brunette-bleach haid and winces as he plucks it out. “Ok. Here.”
“Perfect.” Vincent takes the hair and tugs down the tiny zipper at the back of the doll’s round head. He pinches and folds the short strand as small as he can and puts it into the doll.
Once Vincent pulls up the very small tab, Jordan irks and shudders, “Ooh, what was that?” He whips around, looking at the ceiling.
“What was what?” Vincent asks innocently.
“Is there a breeze in here? I think I just felt something.”
“I dunno, but…” Before Vincent could touch the voodoo doll, a ringtone starts to jingle from Jordan’s pocket.
“Ah hang on.” He picks it up and holds it to his ear, “Hello?”
“Uh… Sir?” Vincent pauses. Jordan never takes calls during any sort of meeting.
“One moment.” Jordan hushes to Vincent, “Yes… Yes, on Monday, the papers can be… No, that isn’t what I said.”
“Uhhh… Jordan?” Vincent says, “Is this gonna count for…”
“Hang on, one second, I need to step outside.” Jordan lowers the phone and addresses Vincent, “Look, I gotta take this.” Jordan then starts to turn walk away.
“But we’re in the middle of—” Vincent starts but Jordan just ignores him while Jordan steps outside, “Unbelieveable…” He frowns and shakes his head.
Jordan closes the door behind him and holds the phone to his head, “… Yeah, that’s better, I can hear you… … Yes, go on… … …Well what did Jessica say?”
“To start things off…” Vincent widens the doll’s legs a bit, “This is for walking out in the middle of a session, boss.” Vincent then winds his hand down a bit, and gives the doll’s loins a hit from below.
“Ok, so this is how- GLH!” Jordan body jumps and lurches as his balls feel a sudden impact! “Gahhh! FUUUUccckkk!” His hands clutch his crotch as he topples a bit, his phone flying out of his hand. It wasn’t a hard hit, but it’s like some kid slapped him in the tenders.
“Oh quit exaggerating.” Vincent mutters as he sees Jordan squirm on the grass. He presses a finger onto the doll’s crotch and gives it a few rubs.
“Whew, whew, whew,” Jordan huffs gingerly as he gets up, carefully so his throbbing scrotum slowly recovers. He sees his phone and waddles carefully to pick it up, “H-Hello? Yes, sorry, uuurrhhh…” He winces and clenches his eyes, trying to push out the pain under him, “Y-Yeah, no, I’m fine. I just slipped and hit something… Ooohh…”
“Alright. Been wanting to do this for a while now.” Vincent mutters as he puts the box down and takes the doll in his hands. “If the tests were right thennn…” Vincent takes the doll’s left arm—the arm Jordan is holding is phone with, and then makes it circle its bum.
“So if you’re gonna talk about closing with a client, you’re going to need to…” It takes him a few seconds to realize that his phone is not right next to his ear, “What the,” Jordan quirks about, even turns around once and saw that his left arm is tucked behind him. He takes a moment and sees that his rubbing his phone in circles on his rump, “Uhh,” He pulls his arm back.
“Aaaaand the front” Vincent then moves the doll’s arm to start rubbing its hand on its lap.
“What the heck, agh,” Jordan scoffs and scowls as his hand starts rubbing his phone on his crotch.
“There we go, that’s great.” Vincent snickers as Jordan’s groin polishes the phone’s screen.
“Agh, dammit!” Jordan finally stops and holds the phone to his ear, “Hang on, I’m sorry, I missed all of that… … Yes, I uh… Dropped my phone.”
“Oookay, let’s try one of these…” Vincent says as he looks over a small collection of pins and needles laid down in a neat row. Some of them have a simple orb at the end of each one, varying in color. Other needles have small plastic items on each one—one needle has a bone on it, another one has an egg at the end, etc etc. Vincent picks up a needle with a yellow banana on the end of it.
“These were supposed to be tested on my exboyfriend…” Vincent says with a shrug, “But you really shouldn’t have interrupted our business time, Jordan.” Vincent then aims the needle at the doll’s head and inserts it into the fabric.
“Look, I don’t ca…” Jordan’s left eye twitches before his brow scowls and his jaw protrudes a bit before his posture slouches. “Hoo… Hoo, hoo…” He huffs with his lips puckered. He looks at the flat gadget in his hand and sniffs it.
“Ooh,” Vincent grins as he sees a new behavior of his boss, “I think it’s working.”
The voice in the phone sounds off, much to Jordan’s awkward confusion, “Ooo! Hoo, uuaahhh, uah!” Jordan tosses the phone carelessly and hops around on the lawn, “OOO, UUWAA AH AH!” He yelps out as he wobbles about, tossing a few leaves from one of Vincent’s trees.
“Hoo OO OO!” Jordan huffs and puffs with exaggerated puckered lips as he slaps his chest wildly with his fists. His suit stretches around his body as he hobbles on his arms and fists to the mailman. “Ooo OO OO AH AH!”
“U-Uh, excuse me sir?” The mailman irks curiously at the dumb and aggressive ape-man.
“Hoo! Ook ook, hoo-oo-AH AH AH!!” Jordan slaps his fists again and then whips around to shove his butt at the mailman.
“Look sir, I don’t know what you—”
“Hoo hoo hoo!” Jordan scowls stupidly as he yanks the mailman’s arm up and sniffs his armpit.
“AH! Hey, let go!” The mailman yanks his arm away, much to the scorn of the monkey-minded gentleman.
“AH AH AH!” Jordan yowled out loud like George of the Jungle had just stubbed his foot. He swings his arms about flexes his torso at the mailman and continues to yap at him, “OO OO OO! UUWA-AH-AH!”
“Get help, sir!” The mailman says as he pushes Jordan away and runs to his delivery car.
“Ooh, hang on,” Vincent then dashes smoothly to the kitchen and grabs a banana before going back to the window of his den.
“AH-ARRR- UWA!” Jordan ooks and yells before he hobbles back to his ‘territory’, his brow thickening and scowling like an aggressive alpha. “Oo OO OO! Ahh! Ook—” Jordan quirks his head to the grass when he hears a soft pat on the ground. “Ooooooo” He coos deeply as he crawls and hobbles to the yellow crescent treasure on the grass and picks it up. His Neanderthal-like mind examines it and sniffs it loudly. The monkey-brained man grins stupidly as his fingers sloppily peels the peel of the banana and glomps his mouth on it.
“Oh God, this is better than I expected.” Vincent laughs quietly as he watches Jordan squat down and eat the banana with one hand while the other digs his fingers into his buttcrack. Vincent then takes the banana-tipped needle, and removes it from the doll’s head.
“Omph, womph, ah—” Jordan freezes mid-chew. He blinks and closes his mouth, realizing his mouth is full of mushy sweetness. He coughs a bit before swallowing and lets the banana peel drop from his hand. “What the hell…” He looks around and stands upright from his position. He looks at the hand that was just scratching his bum and then whips around to look for his phone.
“Wha- Where’s, ah dammit,” Jordan then goes to his discarded phone and quickly plucks it up, “He-Hello? Kevin, are you… … Yes, sorry, I kinda… What? What are you talking about? What noises… … … No, I wasn’t…”
“Ok, so Miles should be by any minute now for his routine jog.” Vincent says as he remembers his acquaintance and occasional fuck-buddy; Miles is a professional Olympian runner, he can’t go a day without jogging around the block at least twice a day, four times on a day off.
Vincent takes his anatomically correct voodoo doll and then picks up a small magnet from his kit…
“Yeah, I got that…” Jordan says. Meanwhile, Miles comes nearby, the trim and fit Pilipino stud walking at this time—recently his doctor has recommended that he take it easy for a while on account of his shin injury still in recovery. Miles looks to the left and does a double take.
“Listen,” Jordan says, unaware of the cute runner staring at him. “It’s just getting really hard at the moment.”
Miles scoffs as he sees the lap of Jordan’s pants push forward. His eyebrows raise as Jordan raises a tent without touching it, looking at any porn, and out in the middle of Vincent’s lawn! Miles giggles and smiles as he watches this man produce a rather large protrusion from his groin.
“Yes, Shafter is a bit long, I know.” Jordan says, unaware of his massive boner. “You’re going to need to make your pitch upscale on the incline.” After he said that, Mile’s jaw drops as that tent points upward to the sky, pulling his pants up a bit.
“No no no, you can’t be afraid to smack Dick around few times.” Jordan says. Miles covers his mouth and scoffs harder as he sees Jordan’s tent point to the right, and then push to the left. “You need to be able to swing on either side of the argument when you have to.” Jordan’s erection starts wagging side to side, really putting up a bizarre puppet show with his pants.
“Hahahaha, I’m loving this way too much…” Vincent says as he holds the magnet in front of the doll’s crotch, making the tiny member inside the doll’s pants reach for the electro pull of the metal.
“Look, I don’t care how rigid we have to make things here, I just need to…”
“Hey, ’scuse me?” Miles says as he comes up to Jordan.
“One moment please.” Jordan puts the phone to his shoulder, “Can I help you?”
“My name’s Miles, I live next door here. I have to say, you’ve got a REALLY impressive thing going on down there.” He gestures to Jordan’s crotch, just when Vincent takes the magnet away from the doll’s crotch and made the member inside lower down to normal.
“What?” Jordan looks down at his shoes, but he sees nothing out of the ordinary, “I don’t understand, what do you mean?”
“I gotta run right now, but here’s my number.” Miles smiles cutely as he puts a card into Jordan’s coat pocket, “Hit me up if you wanna show me what that thing can REALLY do.” He gives a wink and a pat at Jordan before powerwalking off.
“Ah…” Jordan stares awkwardly at the guy as he goes off, “What was that about…?” He says before going back to his call, “Sorry about that, still there? … … Oh for God’s sake, NO!” He scolds, “How many times do I have to repeat myself??
“Did I put the squeeze-bulb in this?” Vincent ponders as he feels at the doll some. He feels a small round shape in the upper torso area, “Yeah there it is. Lets see if THIS one works…” Vincent carefully lifts the window by an inch and crouches down. Vincent then puts his thumb on the doll’s stomach and pressed firmly down.
Jordan frowns and shakes his head, “No, that is not how you—” Suddenly, Jordan’s cheeks puff and his mouth opens up, “UuuuRRRPPpp!” Jordan’s face goes hot after the sudden belch, “Agh, ahem, oh my god, sorry about that, excuse me.” He brushes it off and continues, “Yeah… No, once every quarter… Ok, stop laughing and get serious.”
Vincent chuckles as he gives the hidden rubber ball inside the doll another press inside.
“Listen I don’t—” Jordan felt it coming this time and moved the phone down, “A-Arrrruuuggh. Whoooh” Jordan breathes out from the sudden pout of gas before he puts the phone back up, “Listen, I don’t always have time to fix your mistakes.”
Meanwhile, Vincent goes for another push of the hollow orb inside the plush. “This is, oop…” Jordan’s cheeks puff a bit and he puts his fist to his lips. He closes his eyes for a moment before the bout of air blows softly from his mouth, “Oof… Yeah, go on.”
“Heh, alright, wanna play it like that?” Vincent snickers as he presses the doll carefully around, letting the round shape inside the plush migrate down lower into the pelvic region. Once the squeeze-bulb is in place, the doll is positioned in Vincent’s hand and his thumb on the doll’s belt, Vincent moves the doll’s hand to over its bottom again.
“Ok, don’t argue with me, Kevin.” Jordan scolds, “Listen closely to me right now, you’re going to—” Before he could do anything, his arm moves around behind him again. Curious about what his own limb his doing, Jordan looks down at his hips and tries to tug his arm back.
“Aaaand.” Vincent then gives the doll’s pelvis a hard press. “Let it rip.”
“A-Ahh…” Jordan’s face goes white as he feels and hears a loud fart rip out of him.
“Ooh, perfect.” Vincent grins as he gives another hard push onto the doll’s lower abdomen.
“F-Fuh…” Jordan’s hips jerk from the internal impact from his rear, farting right on his phone. Hesitantly, he bring his phone back up to his ear, “Uuuh… You um… Still there, Kevin?” He asks. His face gets hot as the outrageous laughter on the other line answers his question. “K-Kevin, look, listen, I wasn’t… Ok, yes, I…” He puts his phone on his shoulder and tilts his head back to groan a straining sense of humility, “Yes, ok, yes, I farted at my phone… I-I don’t know, I just, you gotta…”
Kevin just keeps losing it on the other line, and Jordan cannot be more embarrassed. It’s going to take more than a strongly worded lecture to get him back in line, “Look, Kevin, how about I just call you back, please? … … … Right, fine, great, goodbye.” Jordan hangs up his phone and shoves his forehead onto the screen.
“Dammmiiiiiiiiiit!” He groans before he puts the phone in his pocket and makes his way back to the door.