Carpool Carnal Syndrome
Chapter 5—The Mail Boy
The next morning, Joan was pensive. “I’m having trouble with what we did yesterday,” she said.
“Really,” I said. Joan didn’t even flinch when I turned on the tape player.
“Yeah, it’s just that what we did last night, it’s just that—”
“It’s just that you were learning something new, isn’t that right, whore, and sometimes, learning something new isn’t the easiest thing in the world, is it?”
“No.”
“But it’s good to learn new things, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but—”
“No buts about it,” I said. “You need to know these things and you know why you need to know them.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re a little cock sucking whore and because I think it’s time you started moving up in the world.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean it’s time you stopped being just a cock sucking whore and went all the way to being a cock fucking whore.”
“You mean you want me to let you fuck me for money?”
“Not me,” I said. “As much as I’d like to have the honor of the inaugural fuck, I’ve got something else in mind, something a little more suitable to your new station in life.”
She looked worried. “What,” she asked with just a little trepidation.
“You know Garth in the mail room? No, of course you don’t because he’s beneath you. He’s just a kid but he pretty much lusts after you and given the chance, he’d fuck you in an instant.”
“You want me to fuck this guy Garth?”
“You got it, babe, but before you have your big date, we got to get you ready?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you have any condoms,” I asked.
“No, of course not,” she said disdainfully.
I shook my head. “A whore has to be prepared at all times,” I said. “You never know when some guy might want to come and stick his cock in some unsuspecting hole, and you are a whore, aren’t you? You really are a fucking whore.”
“I ... I—”
I shook my head. “I don’t want any equivocation. You’re a fucking whore wannabe and today, you’re going to finally get what you want so what are you.”
“I’m a ... I’m a whore.”
“There you go,” I said. “See that wasn’t so hard. Say it again.”
“I’m a ... a you know ... a whore.”
“Come on. You can do better than that. Say it again.”
“I’m a whore,” Joan said with a little more certainty in her voice.
“You’re a fucking whore,” I corrected her. “You let guys fuck you for money because that’s the way you want it. Say it. Say you’re a fucking whore.”
“I’m a fucking whore,” she said.
I shook my head. “Not good enough,” I said. “Say it again,” I said. “Say it right. I’m a FUCKING whore. Say it like that.”
“I’m a fucking whore.”
“That’s better,” I told her, “but it’s not good enough. I want to believe it,” I said. “Come on, say it. Make me believe it. What are you?”
“I’m a fucking whore.”
“That’s better,” I said. “But I think you can do even better.”
“I’m a fucking whore,” she said with passion. “I’m a fucking whore.”
“That’s better,” I said. “Say it again.”
“I’m a fucking whore.”
“Oh yeah, you sure on. After all, it really is the only way to fuck. It makes you so hot when a guy gives you money to fuck. Just the setting of the price is enough to make you hot. The counting out of the cash makes you even hotter and you could almost cum just from holding the cash in your hand.”
She said nothing.
“Just think about it,” I continued. “The feel of the cash in your hand. It makes you so hot, so wet, so incredibly horny. You’d fuck anyone,” I said, “just so long as he paid you.”
She didn’t say anything.
“You love it. You love it. You love getting paid for your pussy. Say you like getting paid for sex.”
“I like getting paid for sex.”
“Oh yeah, that’s it. That’s a good, little whore. You like getting fucked for cash, don’t you. In fact, you wouldn’t have it any other way. If it’s no pay, it’s no play. If you don’t get paid, then you won’t get laid. You got that. You’re a fucking whore. You only fuck for cash and it makes you so hot to fuck for cash.”
She wasn’t saying anything but her mouth was just kind of hanging open in an almost mindless states, almost as if she couldn’t help but take the words I was giving her. “You fuck for cash,” I said.
“Yes.”
“I want to hear you say it. You fuck for cash. Say it.”
“I fuck for cash,” Joan said.
“Say it again.”
“I fuck for cash,” Joan said.
“Say it again.”
“I fuck for cash.”
Something occurred to me. We’d established what Joan now was but so far, we hadn’t set a price and there was no way I was going to leave that up to her. I mean sure, she wanted cash for sex but I wanted to make sure she was fucking a lot and knowing Joan, there was always the possibility she’d set too high a price on herself and I just couldn’t have her doing that.
“I think we need to set a price list for you,” I said.
“What do you mean?”
“You like to fuck for cash, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t say yeah,” I told her. “Say I like to fuck for cash.”
“Yeah. I like to fuck for cash.”
“Yeah, I know you do, but the important thing of course, is you need to get fucked. If you don’t get fucked, then you’re not getting fucked for cash, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So you need to get fucked. You need to get fucked. You need it long and often. You need to get fucked.”
“Yeah?”
“You need to get fucked. You need it often. You need to get fucked for cash, right.”
“Yeah.”
“So here’s the deal. You need to get fucked. You need to get fucked for cash. You need to get fucked all the time for cash. Say it. I need to get fucked all the time for cash.”
“I need to get fucked all the time for cash.”
“But to get all the time for cash, that means you need to be a cheap, little whore. You’ll fuck anyone for cash as long as the price is right, but for you, the price is always right, isn’t it? You want to get fucked for cash and you’ll take whatever you can get just so long as you mean you get fucked for cash, right?”
“Huh?”
“You’re a cheap, little whore,” I told her. “You’re a cheap, little whore. You’re so fucking cheap. You’ll do anything for cash. You’re so fucking cheap, aren’t you? Aren’t you. You’re so fucking cheap. Say it. Say you’re cheap.”
“I’m ... I’m cheap.”
“Oh fuck, I love it when you say that. You sound so slutty. You sound so low and so dirty. Say it again.”
“I’m cheap.”
“Say it again.”
“I’m cheap.”
“That’s right. You’re a cheap, little fucking whore.”
“I’m a cheap, little fucking whore.”
I liked that. I didn’t even have to prompt her to say that. “Say it again,” I told her.
“I’m a cheap, little fucking whore.”
“Yeah, just keep saying it.”
“I’m a cheap, little fucking whore.”
“Say it again.”
“I’m a cheap, little fucking whore.”
“Yes, you are.”
“You know what? I just realized something. Can we make a quick stop. I just realized I need something.”
“What’s that?”
“I think I need some condoms.”
I grinned. I could see a pharmacy coming up on our left. “You know,” I said as I pulled into the parking lot, “now that you mention it, I think you’re right.”
“I’ll be right back,” she said as she hopped out of the car.
“And be sure to get the biggest box they have,” I reminded her. “Don’t go getting one of those little three packs. You’re going to need a whole lot of those things.”
I wasn’t even sure she heard me but I couldn’t help but smirk when I saw her return. She had the biggest box of condoms with her. “I felt like such a fucking whore when I was buying these,” she said as she was climbing back up into the car.”
“You are a fucking whore,” I said.
“Not yet,” she shot back, “but I will be.”
It was about 10:30 when Garth Adams stopped by my desk. “Here’s your mail,” he said.
“Hey, thanks. Hey, hold up, Garth, I got something to ask you. You, um, you ever wondered what it would be like to fuck Joan.”
“What?”
“You heard me. You ever wondered what it would be like to fuck Joan?”
“You can’t ask me stuff like that,” Garth said in a hushed voice. “I mean, isn’t that like ... you know ... isn’t that like against company policy or something to be talking about stuff like that?”
“Probably. So are you going to tell on me?”
“No, but—”
“So if you’re not going to say anything, how about you answer the question. You ever thought about fucking Joan.”
The kid looked both ways and then his voice dropped. “Yeah, but, I really don’t think we should be talking about this.”
“Don’t worry,” I told the kid. “It’s fine. So you want to fuck Joan. That’s good to know.”
“Why?”
“Because Joan wants to fuck you, too.”
“What?”
“Well actually, truth be told, Joan wants to fuck everybody.”
“I don’t understand.”
“What’s to understand? Our little Miss Joan is looking to make a little extra income on the side and she’s willing to rent her pussy out to anyone who’ll pay the freight. So what do you say? You interested?”
“You’re serious?”
“Definitely. In fact, I’ll tell you what. I’ll even front you the cash if you go on over there to her office and if you tell Joan you want to fuck her over lunch just so long as you come back here afterwards and tell me what you did. How’s that sound?”
“You’re serious?”
“Absolutely.”
“I don’t know.”
I took my wallet out. “Look,” I said. “Here’s five twenties. Knowing Joan, that should probably be enough. Hell, if you play your cards right, you might even be able to get her for less and if you do, you can keep the change, so what do you say?”
“I don’t know. I could lose my job.”
“Yeah, but sometimes you got to be a risk taker if you want to get what you want. So what about it? You want to be a risk taker?”
The kid was staring at the five twenties. “I don’t know,” he said again.
I waved the bills in front of him. “This isn’t an unlimited time offer,” I said. “If you don’t want the money, I can always find someone else to do it.”
The kid was still looking at the bills. “I ... I guess I could do it,” he said finally.
“Just let me know how it goes when it’s done.”
It was early in the afternoon when Garth came back in my office. “I can’t believe it,” he said. “It was just like you said.”
I looked up at the kid. “So I take it you had sex with our little Miss Joan.”
“Oh yeah, it was just like you said,” the boy said. “It was so fucking hot.”
“Yeah, tell me all about it and start right from the very beginning.”
“Well,” the kid said. “I did what you told me to do. I mean, I’ll admit it now, but I thought you were crazy when you told me to do it. Part of me just thought I should take the money and do nothing but I didn’t do that.”
“It’s a good thing you didn’t,” I said.
“Yeah. So anyway, I went into Ms. Everett’s office and she was just sitting there and she looks up when I enter and I swear to God, it almost looked like she was waiting for me.”
“You don’t say.”
“Yep. So she’s just sitting there and she looks up when I enter and I go up to her desk and I say ‘I got your mail here,’ and she takes it and she thanks me and she’s looking at me kind of funny like and I have no idea why and then she asks me if there’s going to be anything else and that’s when I do it. I tell her there is something more and she asks me what and that’s when I tell her I want to fuck her.
“I mean, I thought I was going to die, but she just looks up at me and she says okay and I’m like ‘okay, what do you mean, okay’ and she’s like ‘okay, I want you to fuck me’ and I’m like ‘you do’ and she’s like ‘definitely’ and then she tells me there’s a catch. She tells me she wants to get paid and I’m like no fuckin’ way so then I ask her all casual like how much she wants and I’m figuring there’s no way I’m going to have what she wants and she’s like how about we leave it up to me, and I’m like no way and then I say how about fifty bucks.”
“So you didn’t give her the full hundred, huh?”
The kid shook his head. “I was going to, but I thought for sure she was going to say no, so I thought I’d have to hold something back so when she said no, I’d have something to make a counteroffer with.”
“I take it she said no then.”
“No way. She said yeah. I couldn’t believe it. I mean, I actually asked her if she’d really heard what I’d said because I couldn’t believe she’d said yes, but then she said she had heard me and then she asked me if I had the cash and I said I did and that’s when I took out the money you gave me. It was like she couldn’t take her eyes off of those bills.”
“Yeah, and what’d you do next?”
“I was just standing there holding the bills. I knew Ms. Everett wanted them but then I realized I didn’t know what to do next. I mean I wanted to fuck her and I wanted it bad but I had no idea what to do next.
“But Ms. Everett did. ‘You got a car,’ she asked.
“I told her I did.
“’Then we’re in business,’ she told me. ‘I know right where we can go.’
“It was this motel over on Williams. She went in the office and she came out a few minutes later and she said she was going to have to slip her a ten for the room which was fine because all I had was twenties and what we agreed on was fifty so I had no idea how to break the bills.
“So then she tells me to give her the money and I do.
“All of the sudden, I’m suddenly nervous and I think she senses it.”
“Yeah? What was wrong?”
“I don’t know. I guess I was just having second thoughts or something.”
“So what happened next?”
“She looks at me and she says, ‘Aren’t you forgetting something’, and I’m like ‘forgetting something’, and she says, ‘we only have an hour for lunch and considering that it takes some time to drive here and some time to drive back, we don’t have all that much time to fuck, so if we’re going to do it, then I’d say we better get to it now.’
“That got me moving. I mean all of the sudden, I was pulling off my clothes and she was doing the same thing and in no time at all, we were naked and ready to go, or at least that’s what I thought.
“’You’re not ready yet,’ she said and I’m like, ‘what now’ and that’s when she pulls out this big, box of condoms. ‘I’m going to need you to wear one of these,’ she said.
“Just between you and me, I’d never worn one before. I mean, it’s not like I never fucked anyone before but always with my girlfriend, it was like it always happened kind of spur of the moment, you know, and it always seemed like neither one of us ever had a condom so we just did it anyway.”
“You’re lucky.”
“Yeah.”
I didn’t want to remind Garth that as far as I was concerned and probably as far as Joan was concerned, he was really still just a kid. “Go on,” I said.
“So anyway, she’s telling me if I don’t wear it, I’m not going to get to fuck her and I don’t know if she just kind of figured it out by looking at me but she asks if I want her to put it on.”
“Well, there you go. Problem solved.”
“Yeah, because having come this far, there was no way I wanted to turn back now and I knew I wasn’t going to. I mean, one way or the other, I was going to fuck Ms. Everett, and that meant I was going to figure out some way of getting the condom on.
“But I didn’t have to do that. She takes the condom out and I’m watching her put it over the head of my cock and I have to tell you, even that was fucking hot, just having her hands on my cock and then she was pushing the condom down and every time she pushed it a little farther, she kept squeezing my cock.
“When it’s done, she looks up at me. ‘Now, we’re ready to fuck,’ she says even as she leans back on the bed. ‘Come on,’ she says. ‘Fuck me,’ she says. ‘Fuck me like the little whore I am.’
“I didn’t need to be told twice. I was between her legs and then I was ramming my cock home.
“The amazing thing is she must have really wanted it because her pussy was so wet and when I got there, when I got my cock inside there, she just started to moan like you wouldn’t believe and she kept right on moaning. It was so fucking hot.
“I couldn’t help it. I’d barely stuck my cock inside her and all of the sudden and a lot faster than I’d wanted, her pussy had me cumming hard.
“I was embarrassed and I thought maybe Ms. Everett was going to be mad but it was more disappointed than mad. ‘You just came, didn’t you’, she said and I nodded.”
I was liking the way this was heading and I couldn’t wait to see where Garth was headed next. “So what happened then?”
“So I’m thinking she’s going to be mad but really, she’s more just disappointed, kind of like, damn, I wanted to cum too kind of disappointment, but she’s not mad, at least not yet, and I feel her doing something.”
“What’s she doing?”
“I’ve still got my cock inside her but I’m not nearly as big as I’d been before but I can feel her pussy squeezing my cock and she’s talking to me. Pleading actually. ‘Come on,’ she says. ‘Come on. I know you want to do it. I know you want to fuck your whore. I know you want to make her cum.’”
That surprised me, hearing that Joan had called herself “your whore.”
“She was begging for it and I was responding to it. I could feel myself getting harder and stiffer.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I was getting bigger and harder and Joan knew it, too. ‘Come on,’ she pleaded. ‘Fuck me. Fuck me.’”
“Yeah, so what’d you do?”
“What’d I do? What do you think I did? I fucked her.”
I smiled. “Good man. That’s just what I wanted to hear.”
“I fucked her,” the man said again. “I fucked her and I couldn’t believe it. She just kept begging me to fuck her and to do it harder, so I did.
“She knew I was about to cum and still, she kept on begging for it. I didn’t realize why at the time. It was only when she started cumming, too, that I realized what it was that she really wanted. She didn’t care if I came but what she wanted was to make me make her cum.”
“Sounds like fun,” I said. “So, did you do it again.”
Garth shook his head. “Couldn’t. No time. We had to get back to work. I mean, I was willing to do her again but she said she had a 1:30 meeting that she just couldn’t miss so she told me I should take her back, but when we got back to work, she told me she was willing to do me again just so long as I had the cash to get the job done.”
“So you going to do it again?”
“What? Are you kidding? Yeah, I’m going to do it again. You can count on that.”
I grinned at the kid. “Just so you know, Garth, that’s exactly what I am counting on.”