Dear Diary, Chapter 5;
Through the day I was happy, wearing pantyhose made me feel sexy, made me feel good, and it always felt like it was messaging my lower body. Almost euphoric I felt I was floating when I walked and that also made my choice feel more right. Lingering though in the back of my mind was that nagging feeling that something was wrong, and I shouldn’t be so happy, but layered so deep in the back of my mind it was that it didn’t seem to matter.
At the end of the day, I boarded the bus and sat with Becky. Still in my skirt and flats I crossed my legs and gently rubbed the fabric that encased my lower body. Becky smiled at me, and asked if I was nervous I might get caught going home like that. Smiling back at her I told her “No my mother isn’t home when I get there, besides it seems like such a shame to cover up something so pretty.” Agreeing with me Becky turned back forward, and we spent the rest of the bus ride in silence.
I walked to the front door, and went to my room. Putting down my bookbag I slowly undressed saving the pantyhose for last. Laying back on my bed I let my hand wander, and once again experienced that moment of pure extacy. Moaning I continued to rub the gusset of the hose, and slowly I came down. Laying on my bed breathing heavy I heard footsteps in the hall. “Are you home?” My mother spoke as she approached my door. Panicing I threw my blanket over my legs and turned towards the door. “Yeah mom, I am in my room. I was just taking a nap, didn’t sleep well last night, and was tired.” Peeking through the doorway, my mother smiled and said ok, then she turned and went back towards the front of the house.
Shaking like a leaf I pulled the pantyhose off my legs and hid them under the blanket as I gathered some clothes together to wear. Opening the closet I quickly stuffed that pair of hose with the others, and hid the box under several other items. Picking my clothes back up I went to shower, and as I cleaned off the days grime, and the smell of sex, I thought about how close I came to getting caught. Almost as quickly I decided enough was enough, I had to stop, and that was final.
Turning off the water I dried myself off and got dressed. After which I went back into my room and did my homework before dinner. As I worked I suddenly realized I wasn’t in any pain, and looking at myself I noticed there was no red marks anymore. Flashing back to Beckies house I remembered what she said, and that scared me even more. But I had decided I was in control, not the pantyhose, and nothing was going to make me see things different. Smiling I picked up my books and put them in my bookbag, and then went out to the kitchen to help my mother.
Two weeks ago, I almost got caught doing something my mother told me not to do. Scared of getting caught, and scared of what I might become, I decided no more. I have been doing well, Between the constant temptation in my closet, and Becky teasing me when she wore it I have held strong. Nights are the worst, dreams are a very strong thing, and they really mess with a persons head. Visions of women wearing it, and visions of myself wearing it constantly invade my dreams. When I see myself wearing it, in my dreams I feel so ashamed, and depressed that I gave in to it, but it feels so good I can’t bring myself to take it off. I don’t know why, but it is just so overwhelming in my dreams that I am trapped.
I woke this morning on my floor, laying in front of my closet. It happens sometimes, and I have no idea how I got there. I got up and stretched working my aching muscles and started preparing for school. As I brushed my teeth and hair memories of dreams I had came back to me. Visions of my mother and I both wearing dresses with hose hanging out, laughing and enjoying each others company. The thought makes me smile, and I wonder if one day she might change her mind so we could both share in the wonder of pantyhose. Shaking my head, and slapping my face I try to snap back to reality “I have stopped wearing it, why would I want her to wear it with me?” I said to myself and finished getting ready for another long day of school.
I approached the bus stop and Becky stood there waiting with me. I looked down at her legs and the suns rays shimmered off the beautiful fabric that encased them. So jealous I stood there is silence, sneaking peaks when I knew she wasn’t looking. Suddenly giggling Becky looked at me and said “Why don’t you just wear your pantyhose? I know you still have them put up for when you need them. Or are you still lying to yourself that they are unimportant and you haven’t had a chance to throw them away.” Standing there with my mouth open I was speachless. Continuing on Becky said “Look it has been several weeks, you see I only wear it when I want to, and I don’t wear it when I don’t want to. It is just a piece of fabric.” Knodding I thought about it, she was right, I had gone two weeks without it, obviously I was making a big deal over nothing, I could wear it if I wanted and not wear it if I didn’t want to. Smiling more as we continued to stand there waiting for the bus, I began to get excited for the school day to be over so I could enjoy my pantyhose again.
Throwing my bookbag down on my bed I dug through my closet and pulled out the shoe box holding my treasure. Pulling out a pair I showered and quickly worked them up my legs basking in the sensory overload that followed. Sliding my socks on and a pair of sweats my body began to relax and soon I found myself truly happy again. Through the evening into the night, I remained in a state of bliss, rubbing the fabric at any chance I got. At bedtime I stripped down to my hose and put on a nightie, allowing my legs to remain untouched. Covering with a blanket I let my hand wander to the gusset and for the first time in two weeks found myself climaxing and quickly falling alseep right after.
As my mother woke me from the doorway I turned and shivered as nylon rubbed nylon. After she walked down the hallway I got up and dressed for school. Throwing my flats in the bookbag I ate breakfast and left for school. Smiling as I arrived I thanked Becky for her advise and we both smiled as we began to talk.
The weeks that followed are a blur, I believe I spent more time wearing pantyhose than not wearing it, but it was ok, because I knew it was my own choice. I would choose to wear it, or choose not to wear it, and that showed that I was in control. I began saving my meager allowance, and as my three pairs of pantyhose started developing runs, or ripping I had money to be able to replace them. It sucked that I didn’t seem to have money to do some of the things I enjoyed doing so much, but it was always important to make sure I had a pair of pantyhose if something happened to the pair I was wearing. And so continued the cycle as my love for pantyhose grew stronger and stronger.
Then came the day that everyone, including myself knew would come. I woke up to my mother in the doorway to my room waking me for school. As she flipped on my light switch she stopped speaking mid sentence. Looking up from my pillow I saw a look of shock on her face and honestly had no idea what was going on. Then it hit me, I had slept in my pantyhose, and at some point in the night I had kicked the covers off one leg. My mother stood in the doorway of my room staring at my beautiful hosed leg. “Wha... what are you wearing?” she asked. Still groggy I turned over and flipped the blanket back over my leg and looked at my mother. “It’s no big deal mother, I wanted to try on a pair of pantyhose and fell asleep wearing them.” Thinking I covered my butt pretty well I waited for her response. “Get them off your legs now young lady” my mother said. Smiling I said ok and threw the blacket off myself and pulled them off my legs. “Give them here!” she yelled, and I placed them into her hands. Turning from me she stormed out of the room and I sat there trying to wake up.
After a few minutes I got up and went to my closet. Pulling out a new pair of hose I worked them up my legs and finished getting dressed. Scowling as I put my books in my bookbag with my flats I realized I was gonna have to be extra careful with this pair until I saved enough money to buy more. “Maybe Becky will hook me up if I asked” I said to myself, and with that I went to the kitchen where my mother sat holding my pantyhose in her hands. “Why would you do this? After everything I told you, you still went behind my back and did this.” Shaking my head I looked at my mother and said “It is just a piece of fabric mother, I just wanted to know what it felt like on my legs. And you were wrong, it feels really amazing you really need to try it on.” Shaking as she sat there holding the hose I could see her fingers were slowly working the fabric. Slowly her fingers were rubbing the hose, and I saw my chance to help her and myself.
“No, no, no!” My mother repeated over and over as she sat in the chair rubbing the pantyhose and slowly falling under its spell. “You know you want to mother, it feels so good” I said as I sat in the chair opposite side of the table and kicked off my sneakers and socks. Letting my feet rub against her legs I worked my toes under her pants and lifted them until they found skin. Gently I rubbed my toes on her legs and helped her brain fog over more and more. “Just relax, and let your body enjoy the sensations as they course through your body.” As I talked I felt a shiver go through her body, and knew it was time. I got up from my chair and walked around the table. Kneeling down beside her I pulled her shoes and socks off, and worked my way up to her waist. “I...I... don’t want to do this..” she murmured, smiling I replied “Yes you do, let me help you.” Unbuttoning her pants and unzipping them she lifted slightly to allow me to pull them over her shapely hips and down her legs. As I pulled them off I reached back up and pulled her panties as well and she allowed them to be removed with little resistance. “Thats it mother, you are doing great, just a few more minutes and I will change your world.”