For The Love Of Goddess Radha
By Nialvan
Nialvan@yahoo.co.uk
Chapter Thirty-Four: Sam tells Radha his true feeling
Sam was sitting gloomily in his armchair for a good part of an hour as he thought about the extraordinary events that took place only a short time ago. The whole room had gone all quiet. It was as if someone had died.
Just then he heard a noise. He realised it was Radha coming downstairs. As he peered out of the living room door he had just time to see Radha making her way to the front door of the house. She was dressed in a lime green sari and was carrying a suitcase.
To his horror he realised that she was leaving him. As quick as a flash, Sam immediately darted to the front door and blocked Radha’s path to prevent her from leaving.
‘Please move sir’ said Radha tearfully.
‘Radha please’ said Sam. ‘Don’t go’.
‘I can’t stay here’ she said.
‘You can and you must’ said Sam.
‘You have no right to hold me here’ said Radha.
‘I am not holding you here’ insisted Sam
‘Then stand aside and let me go’.
‘Not until you have heard what I have got to tell you’.
‘There is nothing to discus’ said Radha. ‘Please for the love of god stand aside and let me pass’.
‘Radha please just let me explain’ pleaded Sam.
‘How can you explain something like this?’ said Radha in a tone that expressed disbelief and anger.
‘Just give me ten minutes of your time’ said Sam. ‘Just ten minutes and I promise you I won’t stand in your way if you still decide to leave me’.
Radha paused for a second as she pondered Sam’s proposition. To Sam’s relief she lowered her suitcase onto the floor. She was prepared to listen to him.
‘Thank you’ he said.
‘You got ten minutes’ reminded Radha.
Sam then took a deep breath before he spoke.
‘First of all I would like to say that I am so sorry for what had happened earlier in the living room’.
Radha then scoffed at Sam’s apology.
‘I know how you feel but I am sincere in my apology’ insisted Sam.
‘Is that what you want to tell me?’ said Radha.
‘There is more’ said Sam. ‘Believe me I can explain everything’.
‘There is no explanation for what you did’ said Radha in disgust. ‘What you did was disgusting. How do you explain that? What were your reasons for touching me and trying to molest me?’
‘I am so sorry for what I did’ said Sam. ‘I did it for a reason. It is just that I find you so attractive’.
Radha’s jaw then dropped as she looked at Sam in revulsion and disbelief. It was as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
‘No please don’t get me wrong’ said Sam as he noted her expression. ‘I know what you are thinking. I didn’t mean it in that way’.
‘Then in what other way did you mean it by?’ said Radha in anger. ‘I have half a mind to push you aside and leave this instance’.
‘No please’ said Sam frantically as he spread himself against the front door. He took another deep breath before he spoke again.
‘You are thinking that I am some kind of a pervert who leer at women and harass them’ said Sam.
‘I am glad we finally agree on something’ said Radha sarcastically.
‘Hey I didn’t say that I agree with that statement’ said Sam. ‘All I am saying is that you may think of me like that but it is not true’.
‘Oh really’ said Radha incredulously. ‘So how do you explain your earlier disgusting behaviour?’
Sam paused for a moment as he thought of what to say next. He knew that Radha had a point and he knew that she may not like the explanation he was about to give her, but he must convince her. He was fighting for the woman he loves.
‘I can explain that but first I need you to answer some questions for me’ said Sam. ‘Okay I am sorry about what happened earlier. It was wrong of me to behave in that manner and I can understand your anger but would you agree with me when I tell you that since you had been here I have treated you well?’
‘Until this afternoon’ said Radha.
‘Yes I understand’ conceded Sam. ‘I am just talking about my conduct before this afternoon. I have treated you well haven’t I?’
‘Maybe, but that doesn’t alter what had happened earlier’ said Radha.
‘No you are right’ agreed Sam. ‘All I am saying is that apart from that particular incident had there been any other time that I have … behaved in that manner before?’
‘Well there was that time you fondled my bottom when I first worked here for your father’ said Radha.
Sam’s jaw then dropped in horror. He couldn’t believe it. Radha still remembered that incident all those years ago. He had assumed that she had forgotten all about it.
‘Y-You remembered that’ stammered Sam.
‘Do you really think I could forget something like that?’ said Radha. ‘What’s more, you did that knowing full well of the trauma that I had experienced in my previous job’.
‘Yes … I know’ said Sam. ‘Derrick Holden’.
Radha’s face somewhat cooled. It appears that despite her anger she was quite impressed with Sam’s knowledge of her past.
‘You know about that?’ she said.
‘My father told me all about it’ he replied.
‘And yet you still tried to harass me and molest me—not once but twice’.
‘There was a difference’.
‘What do you mean a difference?’ said Radha angrily. ‘How?’
‘I heard that he used to touch you and expose himself to you on certain days’.
‘He used to indecently expose himself and touch me up on a daily basis’ corrected Radha.
‘Which is precisely my point’ said Sam.
‘It is this that I don’t understand’ said Radha in frustration. ‘Just exactly what is your point?’
‘Well he did that to you on a daily basis’ said Sam. ‘I didn’t do that did I?’
Radha then fixed Sam with a cold stare. She was now really losing her temper.
‘Let me remind you young sir about what exactly you did to me’ said Radha in anger. ‘Fourteen years ago you fondled my bottom and this afternoon you grabbed me and tried to kiss and molest me. Now as far as I am concerned in regards to this sick and sordid behaviour, once is more than enough’.
‘But Radha what I mean is …’
‘Just what exactly are you trying to tell me? said Radha as she interrupted Sam in mid sentence. ‘Are you trying to justify yourself by saying that you are a better behaved pervert than Derrick Holden?’
‘What I am trying to say is the motivation’ explained Sam. ‘I am angry with what that bastard Holden did to you all those years ago and I could kill him now because when he did what he did to you his motivations were dishonourable’.
‘And yours wasn’t?’
‘In your own eyes it was dishonourable and I admit it was wrong but believe me when I tell you that I didn’t meant my actions to come across as dishonourable’ explained Sam.
‘I don’t know what you are saying’ said Radha angrily. ‘You are not making any sense at all. So what were you trying to express when you did the things that you did to me?’
‘When I tried to kiss you, what did I say to you?’ asked Sam.
Radha thought for a moment as she recalled the events of the afternoon, her face a mask of puzzlement.
‘You told me … that you loved me’ she said.
‘Exactly’ said Sam.
‘So what are you trying to tell me?’ asked Radha in confused tones.
‘Just that’ replied Sam. ‘I love you’.
‘What?!’ said Radha in bewilderment.
Sam then paused as he took a deep breath.
‘Radha I have been meaning to tell you this for sometime’ continued Sam as Radha looked on in bemusement. ‘Every since I laid eyes on you all those years ago, I was madly in love with you. Even after all these years my feelings for you haven’t changed’.
Radha’s eyes widened as she looked at Sam in disbelief.
‘That is why that I did the things that I did’ explained Sam. ‘Derrick Holden might have been a pervert but I am not. I know I touched you and tried to kiss you and I admit it was wrong but I only did it because I couldn’t help myself. I am not proud of what I did but in my defence I could only argue that I am just a victim of love’.
Radha was now opened mouthed with shock at what Sam had to tell her. It appears that she could not believe what Sam was telling her—though that is at least the impression she was trying to convey.
It was true that Radha couldn’t believe what Sam had told her, but then again she wanted it that way. Although she was surprised at what Sam was telling her, it was nevertheless all part of her sinister plan to get him to fall in love with her though she never expected him to make such a declaration of love for her—well at least not this early. It was totally unexpected.
For Sam’s part he was blissfully unaware that the expression of shock etched on Radha’s face, although genuine, was nevertheless exaggerated. He was also completely oblivious to Radha’s true motivations for coming to work for him. All this time she had been biding her time waiting for the right moment when Sam will put himself at his most venerable position—and that moment appears to have finally arrived. It is just that she didn’t expect him to lower his guard so soon. All she had to do now was to continue her act of playing the sweet innocent maid and manipulate the conversation she was having with her intended victim in the right direction.
‘What are you trying to tell me?’ asked Radha in mock bewilderment. ‘You think that is an excuse to abuse me’.
‘No it is nothing like that’ said Sam. ‘It was never my intention to harm you or upset you’.
‘You could have fooled me’ said Radha sarcastically.
‘You must believe me’ protested Sam. ‘All this time I wanted to find the courage to tell you how I feel about you. It was just that in the heat of the moment I did the silly things that I did as it was the only way to express the way I feel about you’.
Sam’s face was soft and his eyes were watery. It was as if he was pouring his heart out to the beautiful Indian lady that he so admired and worshiped. Radha looked on in amazement as she listened to what the young man had told her. He might have been pouring his heart out to her but what he didn’t know was that the treacherous and scheming Indian beauty wasn’t at all interested in his heart. She wanted his soul!
‘When I touched you all those years ago, they were caresses of love as I was telling you that I was touching the only thing that was perfect and beautiful in everyway’ continued Sam. ‘When I tried to kiss you this afternoon I was trying to tell you that I was kissing the only woman that is worthy of being my wife’.
‘You are in love with me?!’ said Radha in bewilderment.
‘Yes’ replied Sam.
There was a short pause before Radha spoke.
‘Young man, do you realise that I am old enough to be your mother?’
‘I know and I don’t care’ replied Sam.
‘There are plenty of young ladies who are a lot younger than me and who are very beautiful’.
‘I have seen and dated them all’ said Sam. ‘None are perfect for me and none are as beautiful as you’.
‘You barely know me’ protested Radha.
‘Your beauty has haunted me since the day you have entered my life’ said Sam. ‘Every time that I am alone I always think of you and every time I am with another woman I thought of nothing but you’.
‘Very flattering words’ said Radha. ‘But that is not what I meant. Beauty is no substitute for love. Like I said before you hardly know me as a person’.
‘But I do’ insisted Sam his voice breaking with emotion. ‘I know you were cold towards me when you worked for my father but it was understandable considering what you had experienced with that bastard Derrick Holden. But I can see by the way you treated my father with affection and by your courtesy and manners that you were the only woman for me’.
‘There are other women out there’ said Radha.
‘None has your traditional values or your sweet nature’ replied Sam. ‘None has your elegant beauty. There are other girls out there but they are not as educated in the old ways and have the same warm time-honoured principles that you do. And they don’t have any respect for men any more’.
‘Sir I don’t think I should remain here after what has happened’.
‘Please Radha I have apologised for that’ said Sam. ‘I know what I did was wrong and I am so sorry. Please forgive me but try to understand that I did it for love. How many more times must I explain myself? How many more times must I say sorry?’
Sam then fell to his knees and begun to sob. Radha looked at him cunningly. She had him were she wanted him to be—at her mercy. Now it is time to use his vulnerability to her own advantage.
‘What I meant is that I think it is inappropriate for me to remain here while you harbour such feelings towards me’ said Radha.
‘Please don’t go’ pleaded Sam. ‘Your future lies here’.
‘Professionalism is a principle that I value greatly’ explained Radha. ‘I don’t think I should be working here’.
‘I understand perfectly but you misunderstood me completely’ said Sam. ‘When I said that your future lies here, I don’t mean as my maid I mean at my side’.
‘What do you mean by your side?’
Sam took a deep breath as he struggled to deliver his next sentence.
‘I mean as my wife’ he said.
There was a pause before Radha let out a chuckle which displeased Sam who then got to his feet.
‘I am being serious’ said Sam. ‘I want you and I am willing to prove to you that my love for you is sincere’.
‘I don’t know what to say?’ replied Radha trying hard not to laugh.
‘All I am asking for is a chance to prove myself’ said Sam. ‘I know I have no right to persuade you to stay but if you can find it in your heart to pity someone as wretched as me, someone whose heart beats solely for you then please just give me a chance to prove my love to you’.
Radha smiled innocently though her scheming mind was at work. The man she had anticipated to be her future victim had just exposed his Achilles heel and she moved in to exploit it.
‘Sir despite what had happened earlier I now know that you are a very handsome and respectable gentleman that would make any girl happy’ she said in tones that expressed sympathy. ‘It is just that I don’t think that I am the right woman for you’.
‘Oh Radha you are, you just don’t know it’ said Sam. ‘Just give me a chance to prove it that’s all’.
‘I know that you are nice it is just that I don’t need a man in my life’ she said with a sigh.
‘No I refuse to believe that’ said Sam.
‘Do you really think I can love again after the life I led’ said Radha. ‘I have had a very unhappy marriage and men just seemed to mistreat me and take advantage of me’.
‘My beloved not all men are like that’ insisted Sam. ‘You just haven’t met the right man yet. The perfect man for you is out there and it is my belief that he is standing with you in this very room. Just let me prove it’.