Title: Affection Multiplier App: The Boyfriend
By: BreaktheBar
Chapter 185
“I just don’t know what to do.”
I woke up to the soft whispers, having a hard time parsing where I was or what was going on for a moment.
“There’s nothing you can do, Cass,” Wanda whispered. “You said it wasn’t as bad as last time, right?”
There wasn’t a verbal response. It was still almost pitch dark in the room, the only light a couple of pinpoint spots from the corner of the washroom door. I was alone in bed, and felt strange that I found it uncomfortable after spending only a few nights with both Cassidy and Wanda in it with me.
“Well, he needs time to process,” Wanda whispered. “Just like I do. He knows you love him, and you’re trying your hardest. Cass, I get why you did it this way, and I- I can’t complain about what I’ve gotten out of it. But the amount of pressure you put on him…”
“I know,” Cassidy said. “I know. Fuck, I’m so fucking—”
“Stop, babe. Stop,” Wanda whispered, interrupting Cassidy. “It is what it is. I hate that saying, but it fits. You can’t change it now. You know he wouldn’t want to hear you putting yourself down like that.”
Wanda was right, hearing Cassidy verbalizing her guilt didn’t give me any sort of positive feeling like she was getting her comeuppance or something. It just made me hurt for her.
There were some soft sobs for a bit, muffled, and I assumed Wanda was hugging Cassidy. I wanted to get up and go in there, to take my fiancee in my arms and tell her it was all alright.
But I couldn’t, because it obviously wasn’t. My panic attack in the middle of the night said so.
“It’s all my fault,” Cassidy sobbed quietly. I knew she was probably being both general about it as well as more specific—Wanda and Cattie didn’t know about what had really triggered my nightmare and attack. Cassidy did.
“Shhhh,” Wanda hushed her softly without trying to correct her. There wasn’t any correcting to be done.
Eventually the washroom light went off and the door cracked open, the soft red light of the night light the only thing lighting up the cabin as they both slipped back into the main room. Wanda got onto the bed first, assuming her spot back on my left side, and Cassidy followed on the right.
“Come here, baby,” I said quietly, sweeping the covers back and pulling her towards me. Cassidy broke down again when she realized I must have heard at least some of their conversation, but she let me pull her close and she buried her face into my shoulder as she pulled her knees up to her chest and cried quietly. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled the covers back over us.
“She’s freaking out a bit,” Wanda said softly, slipping under the covers on my other side after taking off the T-shirt she must have put on for the conversation. Cassidy had been naked, and I suspected Wanda had woken up and heard her in the washroom and went to her. With the shirt gone, Wanda was naked as well and she snuggled up to me on her side, reaching over my chest to soothingly run her fingers through Cassidy’s hair. “She needs you so much, Robbie.”
“And I need her,” I said, hugging Cassidy tightly while I pulled Wanda closer with my other arm.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Robbie,” Cassidy whimpered. “For everything. For yesterday. I’m so fucking sorry you had to go through that last night.”
“Shhh,” I shushed her. It felt awful knowing that our physical reconnection last night under the stars, that passionate sex we’d had, was completely out of her mind and replaced by my panic attack. I almost felt guilty about it, though I knew I couldn’t help it.
Cassidy’s tears slowly dwindled to sniffles, and finally to quiet breathing as the three of us lay in the dark, holding each other and feeling our breathing sync up. And then, once everything felt at peace, I felt a wet tear on my opposite shoulder.
“I’m OK,” Wanda said quietly.
“No, you’re not,” I said, rubbing her bare back.
“OK, I’m not,” Wanda sighed and shifted, resting her face more fully on my chest as she took her turn letting out all the bubbling, confusing emotions that she was feeling as well. I held her, and it was Cassidy’s turn to comfort her as she reached over and took Wanda’s hand, holding it tight.
“We love you, Wanda,” Cassidy whispered in the dark.
“We do,” I agreed, and bent my head down to kiss the top of her head. “We love you to bits.”
“Thank you,” Wanda whispered hoarsely.
She took a dozen deep breaths, getting herself back in order just in time for our quiet, emotional morning to get interrupted by the alarm of Cassidy’s phone going off.
“Uuunngh,” Cassidy groaned and hit her forehead on my shoulder a couple of times. “I forgot I promised Terra I’d help her this morning.”
“I guess we should all get up,” I sighed even though none of us had moved.
“No, no,” Cassidy said. “I’m- I’m OK now. Or for now, at least. And I don’t want to flake on Terra, she needs someone. You two stay here.”
“Are you sure?” Wanda asked.
“Yes, absolutely,” Cassidy said, leaning over me and kissing Wanda on the forehead. “Just… be with each other, OK? Hold each other, and love on each other. Sleep in and snuggle. You both need it.”
“Thank you,” Wanda said softly. “But you do too.”
“I’ve had him for years,” Cassidy said with a sad smile. “I need him forever, but you need him a little more right now.”
“Tell Terra I’m thinking of her,” I said. My conversation with her last night had been rough on her end as she grappled with how she felt about JC.
“We’re thinking about her,” Wanda corrected. “And if she needs anything, we’ll be there.”
Cassidy slipped out from the covers and kissed me on the lips, then found Wanda in the dark and kissed her quickly too. “I will,” she promised. “Love you.”
“Love you,” Wanda and I replied together.
* * *