Ass You Wish : Building Our Own Families — Ch. 07
She was starting to see red; blood red. ‘Seriously!? Out of all the times to ask me that, you ask it now!?’ Her conscious thought was accompanied by her unconsciously tightening the grip of her fists; digging her nails further into her hands. ‘You wanna be compassionate now!? Sure, fine, be compassionate! But where the hell were you when —’ stopping herself mid-thought, she recognized she was losing her temper. She couldn’t allow herself to be consumed by it, or else it’d turn into a razing inferno.
She took some deep breaths, unclenched her fists, and allowed it to flow through her. ‘They care.’ She thought as she changed both her physical and mental stance; hoping that a better footing would give her a fighting chance in this bizarre new adventure. ‘This isn’t back then. We’ll have time to talk about it all. Remember: their brain works differently than yours; they’re literally wired differently. And if anyone’s going feral, it is NOT going to be you!’ She continued to walk herself through the exercises. Borderline bloodlusts were unacceptable, regardless of if it was the old bourgeois society or their new burgeoning society; even if there was still a lot of necessary work that needed to be accomplished, that would always remain true.
“I’m sorry.” She said, attempting to project a calm voice. “I’m sorry for pushing you away. And... and I’m sorry for saying it. I didn’t mean to. It’s just. It’s... Well, I do —”
“You don’t have to finish that sentence.” They said while moving closer; first putting their hand on her shoulder. When she smiled in response, they moved their hand to hold her chin, tilting her gaze upward as they smiled back at her. Or at least attempted to smile while still retaining some degree of their smug smirk. “In fact, I won’t allow it!” She could feel the blush rushing back to her face. “Not yet, at least.” She may have unconsciously bit her lip again while letting out a soft moan, but she consciously couldn’t care.
Opening their mouth to say more, Azuryn was interrupted in what was probably one of the most unexpected ways: Ophelia dove forward and threw her arms around them. She then brought them in; even closer so that her head was resting on their collar. At first, their eyes were wide in shock; but after a few seconds, they began to close them. They brought their arms up, then draped them over her shoulders; her comfort blanket, personified.
A moment of joy that felt like a brief eternity; Azuryn soon felt their collar begin to dampen, and looked down on Ophelia.
“Lia…” They whispered in concern.
“Shut up and let me have this,” she said half-muffled into Azuryn’s shirt, “it was either this or I punch you, Ryn.”
“Okay. Take your time. We can talk after you’re feeling better.”
“Thanks, asshole.” She said in a playful titter.
“I’m just gonna ignore that.” Their head-voice matching, tit for tat.
“Honestly, I was half expecting you to say ‘You are what you eat’ or something.”
“Does that make it a... half-assed expectation?”
“Oh my god, Ryn, you’re ridiculous!” Ophelia said as she playfully pushed herself out of Azuryn’s arms. She still wondered after all these years; how someone could look so smugly, yet always feel so snugly. Also just as always, an eye roll ensued.
“So would you say I’m... Ryndiculous?” She may have tirelessly loved to hate that smirk plastered across their face, but she effortlessly loved it even more.
“I don’t even know how to feel about that one.” Ophelia said, wiping away the tears from her seemingly bloodshot eyes. While wiping, she moved back over to their desk.
“Then don’t worry about it and let yourself deal with it when you do figure out how you feel about it.” They said with a near-muted chuckle. Meanwhile, Ophelia was downing the rest of the glass of water; as if it could do anything to quench her thirst.
“How’re you so calm right now?” She said while turning to face them. “The Ryn I knew would’ve been all over the place, in more ways than one.” She said as she drained the last drops dripping from the glass.
“Who said I was calm?” They said with a choked laugh. “I don’t know how to answer that fully right now, but I’m trying my best to focus my energy on what matters to me.” They said with a slight sigh; turning their face away to the side. “I’ve had to force myself through like a hundred self-inductions just to condition myself to be able to direct my energy towards creative, healthy, and productive outlets. Executive Dysfunction can go fuck itself. I could drone on and on and on about neuroplasticity, being drugged to create transmitters, and synpases being fired off like a guinea pig. But I digress; I’d take it over regressing any day though. What about you?” They said while looking at her through the corner of their eyes. “I’m surprised you’re as calm as you’ve been; all things considered.”
“Well yeah, in a lot of ways I’m not the person you knew anymore. For that matter, I don’t know if I ever WAS the person you knew; and in that sense, it brings up the question of if you ever really knew me at all.” ‘Shit! That came out way more jagged than I meant it to sound.’ Ophelia had become a vastly improved communicator since they last talked, but there was something about being near them that just allowed her to let her defenses down; she wasn’t sure if she preferred it that way though. She knew she could at least relax near them. It’d mean she could breathe easily.
“Oh...” Azuryn wasn’t sure how to respond to a comment like that. Sure, they knew everything she’d just said. And sure, it only further cemented what they’d told themselves over the years. But that sure didn’t stop it from hurting like it did.
“Well...” They said as they were trying their best to stay up beat. Their smirk shifted even more into a smile as they fully turned to face her.
“That honestly just makes me want to get to know the new you even more!” Ophelia was one of the people who knew Azuryn best, but she still didn’t expect a response like that. Although eventually she realized that it was still completely on brand for them. They were a dreamer, but they weren’t blind. Revolutionary Optimism was something that could never be beaten out of them; no matter how many attempts had been made at that point to “fix” them.
“So Lia,” they said looking at their phone; the modern day pocket watch that it was. “I’d never say we’re running out of time, but it is getting close to midnight. Care to dance?” As much as they loved to smirk at her, there was only a smile on their face. For now.
“Oh...” She said surprised, having lost track of the time. “Yeah!”
“Fantastic!” They said as they turned on the speaker system in their living room. The low hum of the Bluetooth connection came to life, barely noticeable other than the obligatory tone of a connected device. “Well, I’d say all we need now is a little music and we’re set to go, eh?” They chuckled, finally turning the corner of their mouth in a slight smirk; sexy yet subtle, it still caught Ophelia’s eye and was returned with her own signature lip bite.
“I’d say so. What did you have in mind, Ryn?” She said as she sexily sauntered to them.
“That all depends, cause darlin, should we hurt tonight or kill tonight?” They again chuckled, hitting play and placing their phone on their desk so as to completely empty their pockets.
Ophelia could only let out a soft titter as they would over to her; as they did, the opening to The Ghosts of Beverly Drive by Death Cab for Cutie came to life all around the two.