The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

Alexa woke up on Sunday morning.

The memories of last night were blurry, but with her returned awareness, they were resurfacing, and Alexa let her focus go totally to them.

After the previous night’s rescue, Jessica and Zoe had brought Kara and Alexa straight back to their dorm. The whole ride back in the car had been silent; each passenger had seemed shaken by what had transpired; none of them had been keen to talk. Alexa had not been sure of what Kara was thinking— she imagined Kara to be thinking thoughts of grief, imagined Jessica and Zoe to be thinking thoughts of stress at the near miss, maybe even outright fear at how close harm had come to being done.

She had been sitting there, knowing a certain set of thoughts to certainty because they were her own, as she could not know for certain the thoughts of the others. She’d been thinking of how arousing the near-scrape had been— and she had been thinking, also, of the sadness she’d felt, standing with Kara on her mother’s house stoop. Kara’s family was lost to Haigure— it was sad— Kara was separated from them forever, because Kara would never be Haigure, and she could never completely belong with them given the fact that that was true.

After the silent car ride had ended in a park outside the dorm, Jessica and Zoe had taken the precaution of walking Kara and Alexa up into the dorm themselves, also. It lended some credence to Alexa’s guess that the two of them had been thinking thoughts of stress and fear about what had almost happened to Kara and Alexa. Alexa figured, as the two of them walked them up, that Jessica and Zoe had wanted to physically see them safe into a place where nothing could happen to them. It must have felt like a close shave to them both, they really must have been thinking the thoughts Alexa had ascribed to them in the car— and it was touching to think of Jessica and Zoe caring so much about her and Kara as friends.

Then she and Kara had gotten inside the dorm building door, and Jessica and Zoe had buddy-walked themselves back to Jessica’s car to go back to their own dorms. Kara and Alexa next decided they were ready to turn in for the night.

But Kara had told Alexa that she didn’t want to be alone for the night, and it had made Alexa’s heart pang— Alexa had understood, without Kara having to say, that Kara was still deeply sad about her family.

Unsurprisingly— less than a day, only a few hours had passed since the revelation of tragedy. Alexa wouldn’t have expected her to be over it by then. If Kara was still grieving this in a year’s time, Alexa wouldn’t have expected her to be over it by then, either. Alexa didn’t mind the thought of that, either. If being with Kara from now on meant holding space for Kara’s grief— if from this moment on Kara would be sad and sombre always, and always weighed down under the loss which had just happened yesterday— Alexa was prepared for that. She loved her. And she knew how deeply finding that now both her mother and her sister were Haigure had affected Kara.

Alexa had understood all this in that moment; that she was prepared to let herself in for a lifetime of loving a grieving Kara, even a Kara who might never again be as happy as she had been before— she had also known, when Kara had asked her, that she had absolutely no desire to leave Kara alone. She’d already been thinking, with a dropping feeling, of what would happen next— worried about leaving Kara alone that night, what a long and hard night it would be for her.

She’d already been reluctant to leave her. But especially after Kara had directly asked her, after Kara had actually told her that she did not want to be alone, Alexa had even more powerfully felt that she didn’t want to leave Kara to her own company. She hadn’t even found it necessary to tell Kara so. She’d just put an arm around Kara’s shoulder and walked her down the hall.

So Kara had come back into Alexa’s room with her— and the two of them had gotten into Alexa’s bed together. They had both fallen asleep quickly; at least Alexa thought so, she couldn’t know for sure. The day had been taxing, to say the least, with the arousal inherent to going undercover with Haigure— and especially going undercover with Kara’s converted family. Taxing, with the fear, the feeling that they were both on the brink of giving into conversion, if the sex had gone on just a little further, that conversion would have been irresistible— all of that together had flooded them both with adrenaline, Alexa was sure, and when that adrenaline had washed back out of them both, it had left exhaustion in its place. At least, it was so in Alexa. She was sure the same had been in Kara.

The last bleariness of sleep dissipated. And now, as Alexa was returning to complete wakefulness, with none of the remembering conducive to half-waking and half-sleep, Alexa found that Kara was cuddled up against her. Alexa had shifted around on her side to keep looking at Kara; and by this stirring, Kara seemed to wake, as well. It had been disruptive enough.

As Kara was awake now, Alexa could get a better look at her— could get a better sense of what she was feeling, how she was doing. It was Alexa’s first concern. And when Alexa got that better look, she felt her heart sink again, and the dropping happened in her stomach as well.

Kara’s eyes looked puffy— Alexa realized, with a further pang, that Kara must have been crying in her bed, after Alexa fell asleep. Alexa had fallen asleep immediately, tired by both the adrenaline and the eroticism, two different kinds of arousal— but Kara had lain awake long past that time, all alone, crying. The grief had clearly won out over the physical exertion.

Kara must have cried so hard, to have puffed up her eyes like that— and for them to be still puffed the next morning. Alexa hadn’t meant to fall asleep right away, not really. But she really had assumed that Kara had been as tired as she; she’d thought, while drifting off, that they were drifting on together. She’d been so turned on by what had happened at the visit yesterday that it had exhausted her. It had really taken it out of her— she hadn’t been able to help it. And then so exhausted by that feeling of teetering on the edge— about to fall into complete conversion, if Jessica and Zoe had been even five minutes later with their rescuing.

Alexa felt bad about falling asleep so quickly now. She’d left Kara to cry alone into the night, with no comfort, no support, no one to help.

Alexa was awake now at least; and Kara wouldn’t meet her eyes, though they were lying facing each other on their sides, with arms slung over each other’s sides. Kara was facing her, but looking away, into her own sadness perhaps. But maybe Alexa could comfort her now, even if she’d failed doing it last night. There was still a chance.

“Kara,” Alexa was tentative in starting. She wasn’t sure of the best approach to take. She wasn’t sure of what would be most helpfully, what might most quickly bring Kara to the feeling of relief. But she did want to try; and she tried, first, telling herself that the sincerity of her inspiration would help. The fact that her intentions were so heartfelt had to mean her attempt was more likely to be successful. It gave her enough bravery to go on; and really, with such sincerity inside, plain honesty was the best tack, and surely couldn’t go wrong. “I know there’s nothing I can ever say that will be well-said enough to help you feel better,” Alexa admitted. “But I just want you to know that I’m here for you. I care. Anyway in which I can show that to you— anything I can offer to you. If you just want someone to listen to you— or to hold you— I’ll do it. I’ll do anything, if there’s a chance it will help you.” Alexa paused. This moment wasn’t about her, or what she felt; it wasn’t about seeking validation, or acknowledgement. But it was true, and it rose up in her— and there was a chance it might comfort Kara to hear it, even if it was the one thing she could say that was slightly selfish. “And I love you,” she added.

Unsurprisingly, this act of partial selfishness did not seem to help Kara much. Neither did the preceding statements of selflessness help— being a someone to cry into, or being someone to listen who would say nothing in response, just take it, just receive— never speak— that was selfless, an erasure of self but it had not helped Kara either— and she had not been comforted by Alexa’s statement of love. Alexa felt a little helpless; but she’d known before starting, had said so— that maybe nothing would work. And maybe she had a lifetime of this kind of helplessness to look forward to. She didn’t mind the idea.

Luckily, Kara didn’t pull away from Alexa when she spoke, or Alexa thought she would have felt even worse. Neither did she break the embrace that the two of they had squirmed their way into during sleep. There was another thought— more like a hope. It could be an antidote to the venom administered by the thought that Kara had cried alone in the night. Maybe— it was just possible— that Kara had slid into Alexa’s arms and cried into her body, cried into her leotard, if she pressed her face to Alexa’s breast. Tears would have dried, on leotard or on skin, long before eyes would have become de-puffed; Alexa hoped Kara had embraced her waking while she herself slept; then at least in sleep, at least by being physically present in the bed, she could have been helpful in at least one way.

But Kara did nothing to indicate if this had happened the night before or not. She had not pulled away, she had not broken their embrace— but she had not looked up to her, either— and in no way did her mood seem remotely brightened.

“Thank you for saying all that, Alexa.” Her voice was flat when she spoke, and it broke Alexa’s heart again. “But you said it right at first. There is nothing you can say— ever— that will be well-said enough to make me feel better.”

Kara sniffled; Alexa worried she would break into tears again. Not because she didn’t think Kara should cry, not because she herself would be uncomfortable with it. Only because she knew Kara must have cried so hard it ached— that was usually the only kind of crying that was enough to puff eyes like that— and surely her body deserved a respite from heartbreak like that. Alexa wanted Kara to feel peaceful, though it may have been an impossible want; that was the only reason she hoped Kara would not break into tears again.

Kara sighed, still looking into her own sadness, and not at Alexa. “There’s nothing that can comfort me now,” she added. It swamped Alexa with hopelessness again and she thought— yes. Yes, I can do this forever. She loved Kara heartbroken or otherwise.

She paused thoughtfully, not wanting to rush into speech again after falling in her first attempt. Though at least she still understood her girlfriend; what she’d spoken honestly, first, had aligned exactly to what Kara herself was feeling. That should be some kind of symbol of hope— some kind of reassurance. If she could understand Kara— if the two of them could speak honestly even of things as difficult as this, then it must mean she was capable of comforting her— there had to be some way— she just needed to find the right set of words.

She just hadn’t used the right approach before, she told herself. There had to be some better method of comforting she could employ. She just hadn’t found it yet. She just needed to try something else.

“Well,” Alexa tried again; Kara’s family was the source of her pain, if there was something she could say about them… “At least… you can go see them now, any time you like. It’s just the same as when we went to the Haigure meeting in the auditorium. Or when you went to the newspaper club the other day, you told me about that. Old friends who’ve gone into Haigure think you’re like them; and so far everyone we’ve spoken too— even when we ran into Rose the other day. They’ve all been kind, all been friendly, all been welcoming. You’ve been able to resume your friendships with all of them, and to get along with them. Our disguises are successful enough; none of our old friends are an active threat anymore. And even yesterday, your family believed your disguise. They aren’t a threat to you anymore, either. They don’t know you faked your leotard. You can resume your relationship with them too. You don’t have to keep yourself away from them. You can see them…” Alexa trailed off, helplessly. She’d thought she’d found a thread of something useful partway through, there, but as she’d come to the end of speaking, she’d found Kara completely unchanged, and realized how useless it had all been still.

“That’s not it, Alexa.” But when she spoke now, her deflation raised up into agitation. She partially pushed herself up onto her side. Not lying now but partly upright, brimming with irritation. Alexa was at least glad to see Kara animate someway after being so flat before.“I can go see my family any time, sure.” Kara seemed to think of something. “And— the problem isn’t even that they’ll still be a passive threat to me,” the statement was a slight correction to what Alexa had said; a slight rebuke. Yes, they would still be a passive threat, Alexa hadn’t thought of that, but Kara was right. If they’d gone on having sex with them just five minutes more, both of them would have ended up Haigure themselves.

Still a passive threat… Alexa felt her mind almost streaking back towards the erotic haze of visit from the day before, but then Kara was speaking again. “They’ll still be wanting to… try and seduce me, even if not into their leotard. That’s not the problem. The problem is I’ve lost them—“ Kara sounded forlorn. “I’ve lost them, and I can’t ever be close with them again, not ever—“ Alexa regretted her role in introducing the concept of ‘ever’ into this conversation. In speaking honestly, she had been the one to raise it first. If she had not then maybe— just maybe, Kara wouldn’t seem to be so haunted by it now.

Kara shook her head. “Haigure will always separate us.” There seemed something more that Kara was not saying; she was holding back from sharing about what she had experienced yesterday, what she had felt. There had been something there beyond sadness or arousal, but she didn’t want to say it now, for whatever reason. And as well as Alexa knew her, she had not been able to interpret the third feeling, either then or now.

Kara sniffled— Alexa realized with alarm she had teared up again. So close to tears— but Alexa wanted peace for her— she only prayed she wouldn’t completely be taken by sobs again. Those kinds of sobs were so powerful and so painful they often lead to nausea, shaking a body right into its stomach. Alexa wanted Kara spared of that. She didn’t want that for her.

“Besides,” Kara added, thankfully still only sheen-y in her eyes and not outright crying. “I could already go and see Steph any time I wanted; I was seeing her a couple times a week at Selina’s. As things are now— this is no improvement.”

Alexa cursed herself for not thinking of something more comforting. She’d hoped it would work for a minute— it hadn’t— she should have thought of something more comforting—

“You’re right, of course you are,” Alexa reassured her. She wished she could reassure her in a more substantial way. “It won’t be the same… Haigure does separate you…” Would that help? Just to be agreed with? To feel someone understood her? Alexa hoped—

Kara sniffled harder— apparently not. Alexa felt she was doing a spectacularly bad job of this.

“But even if you’ve lost them— you still have… me… and our friends… and your own life…” It was the last thing she could think of to offer her. Everything else she’d tried hadn’t worked. This was the last she had left— if this did not work, then what would she do?

Kara’s voice broke when she talked; she wasn’t heaving in sobs yet, but— her voice could not hold steady anymore. She was tending in a direction that would be painful for her. Maybe she just needed to feel the pain in able to get through it. Alexa hoped so.

“My own life,” Kara cracked; there was bitterness in her voice as well as brokenness. “What kind of life is it? Trying to stay one step ahead of Haigure, while it spreads everywhere else? While it keeps taking everything from me, from everyone around me, systemically, step by step?”

Kara sniffed back some of her snot again, to keep it from running out.

“I love you too, Alexa,” — Alexa had not expected Kara to say it, and in the way she had failed acknowledging it, Alexa had wondered if Kara had heard it at all, so to hear it said was doubly precious— her heart swelled, yes, she could do this forever. “I love you, and I love our friends too. But it’s my family— they’re lost. One relationship can’t replace another.” And Kara shook her head.

Alexa knew her mind had fixated on completely the wrong thing.

There had nothing else to fixate on, no hint at a successful source of comfort she could offer. So her mind had fixed somewhere else. She’d been making a muck of trying to comfort Kara, anyway.

“You— love me?”

Kara stared at her, even through eyes that still sheened with a film of tears.

“Of course I do,” and Kara was a bit disdainful— disdainful of Alexa’s doubt. “Haven’t I said so to you before? And you’ve said so to me!”

Alexa nodded. She’d never doubted Kara’s love, and the two of them had changed that love verbally many times. The surprise was in hearing it now— in Kara making the effort to say it, with so many other things on her mind.“I know. But— you’re still thinking you love me, even when you’re so sad? Even at a time like this? You’re still going out of your way to say!”

Kara shrugged. “I think about my love for you a lot.” Then Kara softened slightly— for a moment she was distracted, maybe Alexa could be her distraction, maybe that could be how she helped her. She hoped so fervently. “It didn’t take any extra effort to say it,” she said, and it was the first time she really fully looked into Alexa’s eyes in a way that made Alexa feel she was really seeing her. It was something to cherish about Kara— she was always so nonchalant about the most meaningful things that she said. Just dropped them out like they were nothing— and they rang in Alexa’s head for days or weeks or months, or years— she didn’t know how affecting she could be, how special the words she chose were.

Even now, Alexa felt her heart going a little funny, her breath becoming more difficult… it had taken no effort for Kara to say it— it was sweet—

The two of them had been together a while now, but Alexa still cared for Kara so much that it was like they had just gone on their very first date, like it was the very first night they were going out, the very first night they’d ever felt for each other, with their whole love story before them for the living out yet. And Alexa couldn’t help it— hadn’t been able to help it last night, falling asleep when she was so exhausted, wasn’t able to help reaching for Kara now— touching her. Wanting to, because of what Kara had said. Doing it.

To start, she was only running her hands along Kara’s bare arms— they had both slept in their leotards— but when she raised Kara’s skin there, to goose-y flesh, her hands wandered up, chased on by the physical responsiveness of Kara’s skin, Kara’s body— she could be Kara’s distraction, she thought again, hoped she could be useful this way, could be good for this; it was nice to see Kara respond in some kind of enjoyment, some kind of happiness after so far seeing her be so down that entire morning. She was glad to bring Kara a little happiness, even if this was the only way she could get it to her.

And hearing Kara’s love for her, Kara’s feelings for her, had made Alexa want to touch her, to touch her all over, everywhere. She wanted to touch her still; she was selfless in wanting to give Kara happiness by any means she could— selfish in wanting this contact with her, to respond to receiving the spoken love from her, expressing the way that made her feel, physically— to feel Kara respond to that. No amount of contact would be enough, for Alexa and the length of time it had been since Kara and Alexa had last touched, hand to body, was already too long. Body to body embrace wasn’t the same.

Alexa’s hands slid up Kara’s shoulders— then down the fronts of them, feeling the intricate bones of them under her plush skin; Kara’s hands hesitated, but then she reached for Alexa too, touching her hips; she rubbed warm circles into them, there— Alexa did the same to the fronts of Kara’s shoulders, rubbing warm circles into them, hoping they would reach deeply into her, and spread around inside her. Alexa let out a satisfied sound when Kara’s body arched into her hands— Alexa rubbed harder into Kara’s shoulders, massaging them from their fronts, and Kara was reaching out to rub harder at Alexa’s hips.

Alexa was still dissatisfied, still wanted more, still wanted much— she let herself pursue it.

Alexa’s hands wandered down from Kara’s shoulders, and she started repetitively stroking, petting down the strips of fabric that barely covered Kara’s breasts— she was already getting aroused again— she wanted Kara, wanted her body, and she was in that sexy, slinky leotard— she was getting so aroused now, so quickly. The fact that they were both wearing their leotards helped with that a lot. She could feel her own leotard against herself— being self-conscious of this brought her still greater pleasure.

Alexa loved rubbing Kara like this, passing her hands along and along; one hand moving up as the other went down; both moving up, and then down together; one moving alone, the other following alone; in all combinations that a pair of hands could take when moving together.

Alexa decided that she did have a favorite part of rubbing at Kara like this. Her favorite part was that, frequently, the contact of her hands spilled over from the leotard-clad part of Kara’s breasts to the naked part of them that the leotard left bare— the places where Kara’s breasts expanded out past the boundaries of the leotard’s breast strips, too full and spilling, too substantial, so satisfying to knead, even with only the grip of one hand at a time; rolling and pulling the folds of breast Alexa let herself linger on before going back to petting.

Kneading both breasts at once— pulling rolls of breast up with one hand, while pulling in the same way on the other breast, only pulling down; pulling folds both up and down; in the same kind of combination of movement as when Alexa had only been petting. Then she let both breasts go, and went back to running her hands over them again.

Kara was breathing heavily under Alexa’s hands— it filled her with pleasurable pride. Alexa was the reason— Alexa was the one making Kara’s breasts heave up and back from Alexa’s touch, and it was turning Alexa on more. This was the only time she was grateful that they didn’t have real leotards. Any touch on or under leotard would always be second to the real leotard. If they were touching this way in real leotards, the pride would not be Alexa’s to claim.

It would be the leotard making Kara move like this, breathe like this; raise her body like this— in leotards, Alexa could never feel a lover’s pride again, because all credit would belong to the leotard… being in the leotards would mean being part of something larger, something beyond either of the two of them… and yet— wouldn’t that satisfy… in a way the two of them alone, right now, could not…?

Kara’s hands had wandered up too. They passed over Alexa stomach— then they also found her breasts, and the two of them only succeeded in growing more desperate in their pawing at each other— and it felt like two twin trails of flames going over and over Alexa’s breasts again in perfect parallel— and she hoped it was the same for Kara— but then, just as Alexa hoped the pawing would become something else— kneading again, which would be reciprocated, twisting for the first time in this encounter, sucking, something that would chase them closer to greater pleasure, even if that pleasure need not be achieved—

Kara knocked Alexa’s hands away in one move of her arms.

“No, Alexa,” Kara said— her voice on the point of breaking again. Alexa felt defeated once more. She hadn’t been a successful enough distraction— the happiness of the kind Alexa had given Kara had not been diverting enough. She herself had not done enough to help Kara escape her emotions. “No, Alexa, I can’t!” She repeated vehemently. Her voice was a cry of alarm. “When Mom is— when Steph is— lost—!”

Kara finally broke into the sobs Alexa had feared for her, and this time, she did pull away from Alexa. Of course, Alexa had stopped her touching the second Kara had said ‘no,’ but Alexa had hoped to still hug and embrace her girlfriend. If Kara had cuddled up to Alexa the night before, after all, then she did find comfort in Alexa’s physical presence— if Alexa was useless at administering all other forms of comfort, she could at least comfort her the one way that worked— but this time Kara had turned away.

And Kara had not only pulled away from her. She had turned her back to her, and curled on her opposite side in a half-fetal position. Her shoulders moved with her continued sobs. Those sobs that caused aching. Those sobs that puffed eyes. Those sobs that reached into the stomach and stirred it up into nausea. What Alexa had been trying to help Kara avoid— what she’d been trying to protect her from. They were here now; here to stay, it seemed.

Alexa sat thoughtfully beside Kara. She reached for her— hesitated— laid a hand on Kara’s shoulder. This, Kara did not rebuff. She reached back with her own to touch the back of it under her palm, and held her hand over Alexa’s like that. This way, she pressed Alexa’s hand harder into the top of her shoulder, pressing Alexa’s fingers where they curved, harder into the front of her shoulder where Alexa’s fingers draped down.

At least it was clear Kara did not resent her— did not despise her. She’d worried for a second when Kara had turned away, worried that she had offended. But apparently Kara did draw something from Alexa’s physical presence. And Alexa was finally giving a kind of comfort that was useful. Her words had failed, each ones she’d tried and each time she had, being a distraction had failed, the pleasure she’d tried to give Kara hadn’t been enough. But simple contact, a simple conveyance of presence was comforting Kara finally. Alexa sat there for a long time, giving it, as Kara cried, and gripped her hand.

Alexa looked at her crying girlfriend in sympathy. She did not speak for a long time, but after substantial time had passed, she broke her silence. “I have to go to track practice now,” she said, regretting that it was true. She would have sat here for twelve hours holding Kara’s shoulder and watching her cry; even now, if Kara asked her to stay— she half-hoped Kara would— then she would skip track practice for almost the first time ever— sitting here all day holding Kara’s shoulder would be worth it.

But Kara said nothing; didn’t ask Alexa for this, so Alexa figured Kara didn’t want it offered. Maybe what she really needed now was some solitude; Alexa could offer this too, even if she couldn’t take an active part in giving her the peace that would come from it. “You can stay here as long as you feel you need to, as long as you like.” Alexa hoped the offer would be helpful to her— that she would find this room a safe place to cry.

Kara didn’t make any outward acknowledgement to the fact of Alexa’s speaking. No real surprise to her, so far Kara had barely answered to anything that Alexa had said. Kara said nothing, as before. So Alexa proceeded on. “If you’re still here by the time practice is over, I’ll see you again; we can just lay together, and I’ll hold you— or you can stay where you are, and I’ll rest my hand on your shoulder again. But if you’re gone by the time I get back, then I’ll see you later, okay? I’ll stop in at your dorm room to check on you in person.”

Alexa hesitated, because Kara still hadn’t said anything. All of Kara’s silences made it more difficult to know what she was thinking, and especially what she was feeling.

“Is that okay?” Alexa checked. Better to check and be rebuffed than to offend; she’d been lucky that Kara had not minded the petting after the fact. She’d been lucky that Kara hadn’t been upset in retrospect at the petting; she’d been lucky that Kara had been receptive, had liked it when she’d touched her shoulder without asking— she should have asked first, she’d acted without thinking— at least she could act now. She hadn’t offended; she wouldn’t do it now, either, because this time she was asking.

Kara did not speak— Alexa worried she would have to guess at the answer she’d asked for, but then Kara sniffled again, and nodded her head. It would be okay.

So Alexa nodded to herself. “I hope that crying it out makes you feel at least a bit better,” she hesitated before going, to add— “I hope it doesn’t ache or nauseate you too much—“ and then when Kara made no further acknowledgement, Alexa turned, and stepped into the hall of her dorm. At least she didn’t have to worry about putting her track uniform on anymore, since she’d started wearing her makeshift leotard. Having it meant she could go right away to practice without any preparation. Her leotard was convenient like that— though it made her sad, sometimes, that it wasn’t real. It was a shadow of a true one, and couldn’t do anything to her that a true one would be able to. At least there was something erotic in wearing even a fake, even if it made her feel sad other ways.

She felt stupid, feeling sad about something like wearing a fake leotard now, while Kara was feeling sad about losing her entire family. When she’d just seen the way that Kara had been crying. But Alexa felt what she felt, even if she had less cause to feel it than Kara did.

Knowing she would never have a real leotard on her body— never have it in the real world, it would only ever be a dream, a fantasy. That did make her profoundly sad, and she had as much right to her feelings as Kara did to hers, because they were in her, which meant there was really no avoiding of them that could be successful.

Alexa made it out of her dorm, and onto the campus; it was a sunny morning, and already Alexa was thinking what beautiful weather this would be to run in; the sunshine was beaming the sadness over her fake leotard away. There were a lot of other people out, and walking to class. Alexa took her time to look at each one of them.

Every single person was in a leotard.

This would have been distracting, if Alexa hadn’t already made up her mind that she was allowed to look— each leotard complimented the body of its wearer, and they spanned the entire spectrum of solid, single-shade color— they hugged around all body types, all sizes of body parts; showed off all states of groomed pubic hair; covered small breasts up or showed larger breasts to be spilling out. It was a feast of visions, and Alexa felt herself getting a heating of pleasure. She’d been turned on before, touching and getting touched by Kara, but seeing all the girls in their leotards was almost turning her on as much as the petting had done.

The thing that struck Alexa most about them all was how— happy they looked, and she thought of her own sadness again, at having a fake leotard. They were all happy, of course they were, because they wore reals. Those leotards were really what they purported to be; they could influence the bodies under them, control them by pleasure. Her leotard couldn’t do that to her.

And it was more than just the sunshine cheering her up, now, more than just the sunshine that was making Alexa happy. That happiness that shone out of each Haigure slave was as bright as the shining of the sun, and it was so powerful that it reflected off of them and splashed onto Alexa. She was absorbing their happiness like absorbing the rays of the sun into her skin. And it would be as nice to run through a circle of Haigure slaves as to run in nice weather— they were as bright as it— it warmed Alexa as much to see them as to feel the sunlight— she could hear music everywhere she went, and only half-cared that the idea might be coming to her through it. It was so beautiful she was just glad that it was in her head.

They were all Haigure— every last person on campus— every last person she saw— And they were happy because they were slaves. The slavery was the thing that filled with the joy, and the joy was the thing that shone like like sun; that bounced out and onto Alexa, that she absorbed into herself from them as its sources.

They were slaves; their minds controled by what was on their bodies; slaves to what they wore, and to whoever controled the things that controled them. Those leotards… making them happy… the obedience was fun for them, it filled them with joy, emptied them out, filled them back up.

Alexa couldn’t quite have it like they could. And that made her sad too; her leotard couldn’t be real and neither could her obedience. She could be controled by the music she heard, like they could. She could be controled by chanting like they did, she could be controled by going to the meetings she went to; in all those ways she could get the taste of slavery. But it could never hold her twenty-four hours a day, even in sleep… it could never have her completely, making her a full-time slave, because she did not have the truly enslaving thing. The leotard. There was yet sadness beneath the happiness she’d absorbed on her surface. But the happiness touched it; warm it slowly; other things might comfort it still; there were still slaves to pass; still literal sunlight and the sunlight of obedience to feel. Alexa walked on, trying not to think, and only to feel.

Alexa reached the track field, in this intentionally inflicted mindless stupor— what she’d been seeking for, and trying to force herself to feel. It had only been held in place by her determination, and when she stopped walking the determination stopped too, and the mindlessness was gone.

The team was already there at the track field, dressed up beautiful in their leotards— they were a beautiful thing, worthy of showing off— their leotards— their reals— and they all exclaimed out in happiness when they saw Alexa had arrived. Being enveloped in such kindness felt like standing in the sun twice over; three times over; she felt the sun heat her back, she felt the obedience radiating outwards from each of the girls she was faced with, and then she felt the love of friendship they were all extending to her. She felt wrapped up tight in each form of warmth— it nearly melted her to nothing, as she stood there— it seemed to be the thing that had melted another stream of arousal out of her body.

After this first greeting, most of the others tapered off, turning back amongst each other to the conversations they’d been having before. But Maria stayed didn’t taper or turn away; she stayed with her, facing to her with a smile.

“It’s nice to see you today, Alexa!” Maria told her cheerfully. “Are you looking forward to our practice today?”

At first, Alexa was too stunned to answer the direct question which she had been asked. Alexa had never known Maria to make friendly chitchat before, or to be so friendly with her in general. Let alone to solicit her opinion on anything.

Maria had never used to care about her, except to beat her at running, to prove decisively once and for all that she herself was the superior runner. Now, Maria seemed to genuinely have an interest, to genuinely be happy at seeing her. There had been an equal amount of friendly love coming out of Maria as had been coming from the rest of them. Maria had wished vehemently for Alexa’s downfall before. But now she really seemed to wish her well. She had not said any of this explicitly, but there was something in her general mannerism that conveyed genuine care. In every part of her body language, in every bit of muscle there was to her— she said these things without language.

There was sincerity in her; as sincere as that Alexa had been feeling herself, and giving to Kara. So all the Haigure-ites loved that way, loved that sincerely— but they loved everyone with that sincerity, not only one partner. Alexa thought again of that bigger communal something. She’d been thinking of it before when she and Kara had been fondling, thinking of being a part of something bigger and being wrapped up in it while fucking Kara— if the two of them were both enslaved like the others.

She’d already thought that would be better than just what was between them. Now she felt that way even more; these things only seemed to increase all and all the time. That something bigger; which Lilith gave to all of them, which Lilith was behind— was a love that sincere, that fervent— for everyone, every single person— it seemed more important than just loving one— to love everyone. Alexa wished she could be a part of it.

“It’s nice to see you too, Maria,” Alexa said, really meaning it. She spoke, again, after a long silence. As long as the one that had come before telling Kara she needed to believe. It was nice to see Maria— she’d never imagined she would ever say such a thing, let alone mean it with the same sincere that Maria expressed in both her voice and body. And Maria had waited, had stood their patiently in her silence, smiling— so kind.

Alexa had never had this feeling before, this feeling of enjoying Maria’s presence— but so far Maria was really pleasant to be around, and that was a first. Before, Maria had seemed so wound up all the time, so full of anger and judgement. She’d run the others hard, and run herself harder. Had criticized them all, as the other co-captain of the team beside Alexa. She had more than once reduced a team member to tears, thinking that tough love— and a misleading nomer that was, when it had been more like outright cruelty. Alexa had been the one, as the other co-captain, to reassure the teammates who had cried; nothing had ever been good enough to Maria, and she had been frightful in it, so much so that Alexa had thought it must have been even worse inside Maria’s own head.

For her to be so cruel to the world around her, she had to be cruelest of all to herself; inside her own mind, she must have been the one to get the most cruelest criticism. Alexa had always thought, and kept to herself, that Maria was bound to run her body into severe injury. She always pushed herself a little too hard, a little too further than she should really go. It seemed only luck she hadn’t blown a knee out yet or torn a crucial tendon. She ran as if she didn’t care that could happen to her; ran destructively, punishing herself, inflicting pain.

Or at least, she had run. But… all of that was just— gone, now. Maria was relaxed— she was easygoing. It was much nicer to be around her. There was none of that cruelty. No anger, no judgement— Alexa felt, in looking at Maria, that the only thing inside her head now was joy and peace.

The kind of peace she’d wished for for Kara. That was a traitorous thought but— maybe the easiest solution to Kara’s pain was the obvious one— if she became Haigure— then she wouldn’t be separated from her family anymore. Alexa almost wished that Jessica and Zoe hadn’t arrived yesterday. If they hadn’t, everything could have been solved, and Kara would never have had to suffer. They could both have already been converted, and filled with that joyful peace… which was sitting in Maria’s mind now.

Now Kara couldn’t get the relief from Haigure that she needed… Alexa knew her girlfriend too well. Kara wouldn’t allow herself to convert now as long as Alexa, at least, was unconverted. She wouldn’t be able to stand the idea of becoming a threat to her love— but there was a solution to that too— if Alexa converted too, she could not only be happy— but she could convince Kara— seduce her into changing— help her with it. She could be the one to give her leotard to her; the one her mother had had in the china hutch… a lovely fantasy… Alexa thought of it as she looked into Maria’s face again.

Maria was happy. Laidback, and pleasant. And Haigure was the reason for her change in demeanor. Now, Maria was happy like all the other Haigure slaves Alexa had seen on the walk over. Happy the way Alexa could be if only she was a slave— happy the way Kara could be, if Alexa helped her to change… Maria was happy… Lovely of Haigure to change her that way.

Alexa was certainly grateful for it. Losing a rival to gain a friend was a very nice experience to have; she would be a much sweeter co-captain now, kinder to the other team members, and easier to work with. Alexa definitely preferred the Haigure-ified version of Maria— she was grateful to Haigure for changing her— it had been a real improvement, made her better. She’d never thought Maria could be like this; had never imagine she could change, but Haigure had changed her. It had done real good in the world by doing so.

Alexa thought of being changed herself— thought of being changed, than of changing Kara. It was a nice thought— it was fun, just to think it— but it was only a thought. She knew she couldn’t actually do it. She couldn’t convert— couldn’t do that to Kara— and she definitely couldn’t convert Kara.

She’d snatched her hands away the second Kara had said, ‘no,’ she’d agonized to think that Kara had been offended by anything she’d done— over things that Kara had clearly found trivial, or even outright enjoyed. How could she force upon Kara the greatest betrayal, the thing she spent all her time resisting, hating— that must have been the third feeling in Kara she would not speak, that she had seen in Kara’s face yesterday. It must have been hate— hate for Haigure. Alexa couldn’t force it on her; she so hated the thought of making Kara feel discomfort; she could never really convert her. It had all only been a thought.

But what a nice thought to have, for the moment before it had to dissipate.

The Coach blew her whistle— and there was no more time for Alexa and Maria to chat. They all had to start running— they’d been standing on the track, spread around, chatting in groups, so they all started running from where they were, some of them further ahead, some of them further behind. They were all driven by their leotards, though, and Alexa had to push to keep up with them; it was easy enough for all of them to get caught up to each other; some of them knowing to run more slowly so they could fall back— some of them knowing to run more quickly, so they could catch up.

Finally they were all running in a line, alongside each other in perfect formation. And the music, containing the subliminals, was playing through the standing speakers out on the field. Alexa could hear it everywhere, no matter where the line of them were on the track.

This was Alexa’s first track practice without the earbuds in her ears to protect her. She had already walked through a campus full of it, the subliminals trailing into her ears as thick as syrup. She had not been frightened before; but it seemed so literal now; she was running, and the subliminals beat at her head in time with the slapping of her feat. They could affect her— they would change her thinking. She wished the earbuds could be in her ears, because she wanted their protection.

She was frightened.

She was only frightened for a minute— then she really heard them and they set her at ease.

She was being like Maria now, how it must have been for Maria at first. So hard, and cruel, but hearing those subliminals. Feeling them get beneath her skin— start to ease those things that were tensed inside her in judgement and rigidness. How she must have been reluctant at first— but then the more she got washed in that sound, the more she felt those tensed things in her starting to unclench, and ease and feel good. How it must have happened time after time again, until that ease had become easygoingness… and now Maria was so pleasant to be with.

Alexa thought of how much softer she was than Maria must have been. She’d been tensed up herself, in the first moment of fear. But it had only been a moment, and then she had felt that tensing melt away immediately— Maria must have taken a lot of time to wear down, but it had only taken Alexa a second to melt.

She was melting more, the more she ran; this was the best of all the track practices that had ever been, since Haigure had infiltrated the track team, and probably even before. In the earlier practices, with the earbuds, Alexa had felt herself slipping into a partial Haigure mindset— because her body had moved with the bodies of the other slaves, and she’d felt her identity disappear into the collective. But there had been no music; no droning, no clanging in her head— now there was, and she loved it there.

It was so— soothing. It felt just the way she’d pictured it happening to Maria, who she was running beside. So many things in her mind, in her body seemed to be tensed up, but then the music touched them, and they soothed open; and then that warming ease was inside the places they had been, and it made her drip; and it spread; and then things inside her retensed, and re-eased… and then a new layer of warmth settled over the old one; and Alexa dripped.

She felt good, running inside the warmth, running inside the music and feeling it spread a film over the world— looking out through it as if looking up from underwater. It kept spreading in her, and she kept liking it.

Maria’s good attitude had spread to the running track. The competitiveness with which she’d once raced against Alexa was gone; she ran like all the other track teammates— fast, and by natural ability still probably gravitated toward the front of the pack, but she didn’t run with that anger, that fire, that desperation to defeat all the others and prove herself best. She ran with the same relaxed attitude; it was really the music in her head that made her mood, that made all of them move and line up, and pass forward together as components of one organism— the music layered so much warmth in Alexa’s body, layered so much in Alexa’s mind, that it drowned all her thoughts, silenced them.

She ran empty-headed, and felt herself dewing along her open slit; the track circled around them, and they had already lapped it once. The track circled around it again, and they had already lapped it twice.

Alexa didn’t think she could get any happier— the sadness over her leotard being wrong wasn’t here. Nothing was here, she was completely alone, sinking into the feeling— the words in her mind she knew were there but couldn’t hear anymore. Words about how happy all Haigure slaves were— and she was a Haigure slave too, she was happy too— words about how hot, and electric it was to be one— how wonderful her leotard was, how she just wanted to obey it, to be happy, to be herself, the best version of herself she could be, Haigure was helping her be—

The track practice was over before Alexa could really even know it had happened, and as the team gathered back into a group to say goodbye to each other before the practice was officially over. Alexa found her mind already thinking something: maybe it had been thinking something already; it seemed it had already been thinking without her, and now that her mind had turned back on, Alexa found herself able to read what was being said apparently with or without her.

She was thinking of a fantasy.

Here, she was surrounded by her track teammates— they had made a huddle, breathing flushed and cheerful after a good run all around, and they had their arms over each other— and what would happen now, if Alexa told them— if she told them that her leotard was a fake. They already had their arms around her; they could get her down on the ground and strip her off— but even in the fantasy, something in Alexa rebuked. Strip her off? Why should they strip her off— it was her fantasy— she would strip herself off and present herself to them— and what would they do, then? She was already so turned on; her arousal had gone nowhere that morning, it had not led to sex with Kara— then she had run and run, but her leotard had not been able to reward her.

She was surprised, in coming to the end of the fantasy, that the words had almost come onto her tongue—

But— Alexa tried to rouse herself. This was fantasy, but that would be really— it would mean really having it. It wouldn’t just be a game; just something to make her wet, something to give her a little thrill. It would really take her, and make her a slave forever. There would be no way to return from it.

Yet. Alexa thought— of her sadness, of all the things that her leotard could not do for her; of Kara’s sadness, of how she was permanently separated from her family— all the sadness, and how happy all the Haigure slaves had been on the walk over, how much pleasanter Maria was now than she had used to be. How much pleasanter she might be herself.

It wasn’t only sexual fantasy now. It was a longing in her soul, and she wanted it so badly. There was no desire to deny, to resist anymore. She simply wanted it— she regretted nothing. She knew with total certainty this was what she wanted to do.

Alexa stepped back, breaking the huddle.

The gap she had left did not close; all her teammates turned to look at her in surprise; she had acted unexpectedly. They were all supposed to be components of one organism, but Alexa was breaking away as if she was separate; they did not understand how this could be.

Alexa would show them.

She stripped her leotard down slowly; all eyes widened further— the Coach stepped forward as if to stop her, but something seemed to stop the Coach herself— it felt good to the feel the leotard peel away from her, to feel the air rushing in to touch where it had not touched for so long.

“I’ve been faking,” she told them all, and some understanding became clear in each expression. “It’s not a real leotard. I made it from a Rosedale Uni swimsuit; I’ve been hiding in plain sight all this time.”

They did not pounce her; Haigure slaves got a bad rap, Alexa thought— they were really… sweet… and they seemed to see… seemed to know she did not need to be conquered, only cared for; only helped. They recognized that she was giving herself to them; must have been able to understand, even, that she could have kept wearing the leotard forever and never been caught; but she had willingly taken it off.

Knowing she was doing this willingly turned Alexa on more.

Their hands accepted her; their hands, their mouths, their lips. They were a group, kissing, licking, touching fucking so closely it was almost impossible to tell which of them was which. Alexa felt the same as she had running; lost into the collective, her identity gone. But it was only pleasure— there was no sadness inside.

Alexa didn’t know how much longer it went on like that— but the group of them seemed to come apart; the Coach had stepped in amongst them. She had brought— yes, it was the one she had been shown before, the one she’d seen just Friday night at Kara’s mother’s house, taken out of the china hutch— it was her leotard, all hers, all hers.

It was her leotard.

She started to get excited, and she couldn’t contain it. “Mine— My— My—!” It was a shout of excitement, she was seeming to jump up and down were she was sitting, and reassuring hands patted her, petted her, passed over her.

“I want to— oh, please let me—“

The Coach crouched, and held out her leotard to her.

It had waited for her all the this time; now finally— now, finally—

Alexa snatched it up in her hands as other hands petted her, patted her, kept reassuring her— they were all so sympathetic to her, they were all so kind, Haigure slaves got a bad rap she thought again— and then she felt the leotard make contact against her hands, and she didn’t think anymore.

It was a feeling— it was unlike anything else ever felt— it was a feeling that made her think she had been waiting for it all her life, though she had not known she had been waiting until this moment. It was like everything she’d ever fantasized about, everything she’d ever wished true but had never been— now here it was true, now here the dream had come true— it was a first sight, a turning around a corner and finding the exact thing you had only seen in a dream waiting for you— to be really with you— the kind of feeling of love, a deep love that was just starting, that would be lifelong now that it was found… something that had come to her in whispers and half-waking impressions… now it was really here. The dream was real… the dream was real again, not half-dreamt, not with anything missing. It was here, it was real— was in her.

She had missed the journey from feeling it in her hands to finding it on her body, but now that it was on her body, she felt it there intimately. It was better than imagined. She had imagined this moment, and this moment did live up to that imagining. But not, as with sometimes one finds a dream come true, only, not only did it live up to it and only just meet it— so that the thing was disappointing in itself, for being just as much as one thinks it will be and nothing different, not claustrophobic from only meeting expectation and not exceeding it.

In this case, it met expectations and exceeded them, got outside of them. It was like the subliminal music, but it could control her so much more powerfully than the music could. Her mouth had fallen open, and she was croaking; too affected to fully vocalized; back her hair fell— her face tipping up; she was on her knees, her pussy buzzing with pleasure that was pulsing outwards from her womb, coming to the surface in a series of pussy-clenches; she was trembling.

The leotard could reach right down into the center of her, and implant the pleasure there, then the pleasure could break outwards, touching and stimulating everything on the way— she had never imagined it could be like this— that any pleasure that felt like this could actually happen in the world— but it was happening in her body now, there could be no doubt in that, and she was overjoyed— she was so lucky, so so lucky that pleasure like this could exist, that it was happening to her now, inside— lucky to have her own leotard, the one that had always been meant for her; to finally have it— to finally be in oneness with it— as sometimes felt when she and Kara had sex, but now she felt it with her leotard. They were one now. Joined— in union— married. It was beyond words. She was happy, so so happy.

The group closed in around her, started touching; they were all fucking together, dictated by their leotards.