Hot Tub Love Machine
By Redsliver
Chapter 20
* * *“Don’t you fucking dare!” Dawn shoved me with both hands as we rode the bus near her stop.
“What?” I said, shocked out of a cloud of dark thoughts.
She lowered her voice, though I was certain we were still the focus of eavesdroppers. Kissing multiple girls in front of the school had fueled the rumor mills. Dawn wasn’t sure if she could handle that kind of attention. She jabbed a finger into my side.
“My dad is looking for any reason to call off me moving out,” she said. “If you can’t put on one of your stupid fucking charming smiles, you’re sabotaging this.”
I tried my best.
“That looks fake,” she said. I grabbed her by her auburn hair and pulled her in for a long kiss. From the ‘oohs!’ and one ‘I can’t wait to see the look on Iggy’s face when she finds out!’ there were more than a handful of snoops.
Dawn pulled back, red as Anna, she looked me up and down. “Better.”
“Charge my batteries if I’m powering down?” I asked.
“If I can,” she frowned. She almost said more but she met the gaze of a pair of freshmen girls and lost it. “Would you fuckers fuck off?! This isn’t your business.”
I squeezed Dawn’s hand. She looked back. “Great, there’s the Lucas idiot smirk.”
I kissed her again. She smiled into it until the driver said, “Knock if off back there!”
We got off at Dawn’s stop and walked hand in hand off the main road, down a sidestreet to her place. Her dad’s truck was there. Jesse was standing in the driveway, arms crossed, waiting for us.
“Lucas.” He said.
“Jesse,” I replied.
“Mr Crowley,” he shook his head. “You understand what we’ve agreed to?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Dawn’s 18 and capable of making her own decisions. I trust her and will follow her lead.”
“Lucas!” Dawn hissed. “Don’t sabotage things.”
“It’s a better answer than the one I wanted,” he said. “C’mon Lucas. Dawn carted up everything she wants to take. It’s up to us to pack the truck.”
She was leaving her bed and bedroom furniture. It was all comic books, statues, clothes, and small boxes. There was the computer, but she was leaving the desk. She had her clothes, and I had to carry out her dresser drawer by drawer. Dawn went to the shed behind the house and grabbed her bike and helmet.
Dorothy watched, making sure we stayed hydrated. I tried not to say anything, besides I didn’t know Dorothy’s middle name. I had finished packing the last box and had closed the tailgate. Dorothy grabbed Dawn and shoved her into their car, a boxy Jetta. They were loaded up with bowls and tupperware.
“What’s going on?”
“It’s what Kate negotiated,” Jesse said. “Get in the cab.”
“OK, but what did mom agree to?” I asked, buckling my seatbelt.
“Weekly dinners, Tuesdays. Apparently that’s when your schedules are least fucked up,” Jesse said. “I get to check in on Dawn. She also keeps a 4.0 GPA or I don’t pay her rent.”
Dawn was being charged rent? Mom probably didn’t care but knew that Jesse would.
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want Jesse in my house, even one day a week. I was a bit fatherphobic. I didn’t want him, or Jesse, touching my mom. I would’ve been OK holding off until June when we all moved out for college. I didn’t know if my mom’s ass was still part of the agreement. I had suspicions. I had Ryan to blame.
Isabel Cherry Day.
I was seeing red. I couldn’t focus beyond keeping my tongue in check or unloading the boxes when we arrived. Mom was waiting on the step. She kissed my cheek as I reached the door. “Put her stuff in my office. Your old bed’s in there.”
“Jesse! Dorothy cooked so much!” Mom said, worriedly.
“Men like to eat!” Dorothy shouted from the kitchen.
“She overdoes it,” Jesse said. I didn’t look at their shared look. I didn’t want my stomach to churn. I hurried down to the end of the hall, the door across from mom’s bedroom was the office.
The office had been cluttered to hell. It had been more of an extended closet than a functional room. She did most of her accounting and paperwork at the salon. Still, it was nice seeing the carpet again. I hadn’t remembered that the desk in here was black. My old twin bed, dressed in pale pink sheets, seemed off. Even if it had my old Batman comforter across it.
Jesse focused on the dresser, setting that up next to Mom’s filing cabinet.
“Kate?” he shouted. “You sure you’re planning to keep this stuff in here?”
“For now Jesse!” Mom shouted back. “I’ll find places for everything soon enough.”
“We’re here to be muscle.” Jesse tapped my chest as we walked by the girls in the kitchen. “Just say the word.”
I looked in my room on the next trip. That was a king and it took up so much of my room. Everything I owned had been forced tighter against the walls. I frowned. I didn’t stop. I didn’t want to be calling attention to myself.
When the last box was in the room, we all went to the table. Jesse and Dorothy insisted we say grace. I had never done it before, but I couldn’t help but share a smile with Dawn as I held hands with her and Mom. Dawn kept banging her knee on mine all dinner.
Mom’s alright in the kitchen. She has three things she likes to cook, and she did those amazingly. But, all of those are for breakfast. Dorothy had brought over an incredible chicken white sauce pasta thing. It was amazing. Jesse and I had six full plates between and the women managed just a bit more than two.
“You’ve been on your best behavior, Lucas,” Jesse said, when the food was gone. He looked like he might shed a tear when he smiled at Dawn. “I never understood why you liked this boy.”
“Because he’s handsome and makes her feel like a woman,” Mom said, kissing the back of my head. I swatted her away as she laid out a lemon meringue pie on the table. She started handing out the slices. Dorothy was handing mom the forks and plates.
If I wasn’t terrified of Jesse, it could have been what a real family meal felt like. A real family, not a fake one made out of love potion. Dawn held my hand under the table. Luckily, I was right handed and she was left. We managed to eat our pie without issue.
“Hey!” Emi singsonged as she barged in the front door. She stopped and Anna walked straight into Emi’s back. “Oh, why’re you here?”
“You don’t knock?” Jesse frowned.
“The door’s always open for family,” Mom said. I frowned at that, hoping Jesse didn’t take it as a surprise inspection rule. I’d hate to have him find me and Anna double teaming his daughter. Dawn would explode being interrupted like that.
“What are you smirking at?” Dawn asked me. I leaned over and kissed her.
“I thought you had a girlfriend, Lucas,” Jesse said.
“Um…” I thought you weren’t a naive idiot as to what would happen when your daughter moved in with me? I thought you had a wife and you still banged my mom? Fuck off. “I do. I love Iggy very much.”
I squeezed Dawn’s hand through every syllable of it.
“Jesse. You’re not an idiot,” Dorothy said. “She either makes this mistake and hates herself or she simply hates us.”
“It’s not a mistake!” Dawn shouted. Anna and Emi reinforced the words.
“Girls,” Mom walked over and grabbed Anna and Emi. “If you’re not gonna join us for pie, go into Lucas’s room and wait.”
Anna smiled and walked towards my room.
“What kind of pie?” Emi asked, brightly.
“Lemon meringue,” Mom said. Anna stopped and turned back around. “I thought so.”
Jesse got kicked by Dorothy when he tried to interrogate Emi and Anna. In the end, we just ate our slices and tried not to light any potential powderkegs.
“Alright,” Dorothy said, putting her fork down. She pushed the remaining third of her slice in front of Emi and it disappeared. “It’s time to trust our daughter.”
“I always hate this part,” Jesse said. Mom, Dawn, and Dorothy glared at him. I nodded understanding. He walked around, forced Dawn to her feet for a hug, and smiled.
“Look out for my girl, Kate,” he said.
“Any reason,” Dorothy said, hands on Dawn’s shoulders. “Call!”
“Sure,” Dawn said, curtly. We watched them leave. Mom slumped in her chair and sighed.
“What a fucking trial that man is.” Mom raked her hair back. “You girls gonna help him sort out his room? There are fresh condoms in his sock drawer.”
I looked wide-eyed at Mom.
“Rules in my house,” she put up a finger. “1. Honest about sex. 2. You keep grades up. 3. Your bedroom, the shower, the hot tub. Not in the kitchen, not in the living room, not in my room.”
“I can agree to that,” Dawn said.
“Good,” Kate stood up. She walked over Emi and sniffed her hair. “You don’t smell like weed.”
“Mom hates the stuff,” Emi said. “And it’s only kinda fun.”
I frowned, thinking about Emi’s father.
“Same rules for you Emi,” Kate said.
“Well, I’m only sleeping with Lucas now and whatever girls he wants to share me with,” she said. “I promise.”
Mom grabbed Emi’s shoulders and smiled at me. “Way to take control of your girls! That’s so sweet.”
“Kate?” Anna said.
“Yeah?”
“I tried the words on Mom after school. My brothers are Lucas’s brothers?” There were tears in her eyes.
“Ryan had learned that it was irresponsible to knock up women who aren’t gonna have Dads for their kids,” Kate said. “Your father’s a great man and a great dad to Kevin and Jimmy.”
Anna nodded. She thumbed away tears.
“Katelyn Marie Greentree.” I said, sharply.
Mom froze.
“Lucas?” Dawn whispered. I gestured her to be quiet.
“Mom, do not eavesdrop on anything that happens in the bedroom or in the hot tub,” I said. “And don’t tell Ryan what I talk about with the girls.”
“I won’t,” she said. “Until he realizes I’m not and makes me tell him.”
I frowned, having learned to keep expletives like “Shit!” and “Fuck!” out of my mouth while someone is entranced.
“What do you tell him?”
“Which girls you like, how well they’re treating you, and what I’m worried about each of them.”
“What do I make you worry about?” Dawn jumped in quickly.
“You’re shallow and selfish and you only put up with your girlfriends to stay close to my son.”
Dawn crossed her arms and frog-faced. I looked at Anna and Emi.
“Is it the drugs and stuff for me Kate?”
“You’re self-destructive and I don’t want you taking Lucas, Iggy, or Anna with you. I’m so happy your hair doesn’t smell of weed.”
I looked at Anna.
“I don’t wanna know,” Anna said.
Mom floated.
“Mom, only tell Ryan things that you’d normally tell him,” I said. “And don’t listen to any conversations in my bedroom.”
“Of course, Lucas,” she said smiling.
“Or the hot tub,” Emi said, filling in the part I had neglected this second time.
“Right, don’t eavesdrop on the hot tub, either,” I said. “Now, come out of the trance.”
Mom smiled broadly, her eyes rolled up and her cheeks scrunched as she thought. “I don’t know what you asked of me.”
“I’m selfish and don’t like my friends,” Dawn said, crossing her arms.
“Oh I didn’t need to be entranced to tell you that,” Kate said. “If it’s about Lucas, I’m not gonna pull punches on any of you.”
Dawn looked to me for rescue.
“We’re goin’ to bed,” I said.
“Breaking in a new bed is the best,” Mom said. “Are you guys sleeping over?”
“Yes,” Anna said.
“Mom’d prefer if I’m not out all night,” Emi said.
Dawn frowned at Anna.
“Good,” Kate said. “Is Iggy coming over?”
That’s when Ray walked in the door. “Jesus, you don’t have to cheer like that…” Her face went red as Emi, Mom, and I laughed.
“Lucas was just about to break in the new bed,” Mom said. “Vonnie said you got your implant?”
Ray squatted down and looked hard at her sneakers as she untied them.
“Good, you have a rule that these three don’t,” Mom said. “No babies.”
“We’re only 18!” Anna said, red to her ears. Mom hugged her.
“For now,” she said. “I meant ever with Ray. That wouldn’t be fair to the kid.”
Anna nodded. Mom spun Anna towards my bedroom and pushed her off first. I reached over and grabbed the leftovers of her pie at the same time as Emi.
“Rock paper scissors for it?” I asked.
“Or I could just blow you for it,” she said. I let go of the plate.
“Bed, showers, or hot tub,” Mom reminded Emi with another smell of her hair. “I’m gonna go read with a few doors closed between us.”
Mom left. Ray walked over to me.
“Were you serious about what you said about killing—”
Dawn reached over and clasped Ray’s lips closed. “Only in the bedroom.”
“Or the hot tub,” Emi said, chewing pie crust.
Dawn dragged Ray after Anna towards my room.
“There’s still slices left,” I said, looking at the second pie on the counter.
“One for Iggy, one for Ray,” Emi said. “Grab me a drink?”
I poured Emi a glass of juice and she washed down her dessert. She stood up, wrapped her arm in mine, and said, “C’mon Sex God.”
“After you, sex goddess,” I said, smiling.
Anna closed the door behind me and Emi with a slam. Mom shouted out a “Don’t break my house!” and received an appropriate “Sorry!” back from Anna.
“She might not’ve heard that with you in the bedroom,” Dawn said.
“Good point,” Anna said, as she stepped out into the hallway. “Sorry Kate!”
Anna came back in and closed the door quietly.
“So we’re gonna kill Uncle Ryan?” Ray asked. “I just learned I had a dad, a brother.”
“Brothers,” Anna said, darkly.
“Vonnie’s never found someone because he wouldn’t let her be gay,” I said.
“She’s in love with your mom. They’re together,” Ray said, defensively.
Anna and Dawn shared a look. Emi hugged Ray. I reached out and brushed her hair from her face and smiled.
“And Mom never got to fall in love because of him,” I said. “She’s been on call all of her life.”
“So what do we do about it?” Anna asked.
“We kill him,” I said. “Or I do.”
Dawn slapped me across the face. I was shocked by how hard and fast the blow came. I looked in her burning red eyes and flaring nostrils as she glared down at me. I had never seen Dawn angry like this before.
She reminded me of her Dad banging on the door. Just without the self control.
“No,” she said.
“You can’t kill somebody,” Anna said. “It’s fucking wrong.”
“No one gives a shit about that.” Dawn waved Anna away with the back of her hand. “The police are good at their job. You’ll go to prison! I’m not letting you be taken away from me. We’re not gonna kill him.”
She put her foot down, in a literal stamp, with her fists bundled up against her hips. Emi grabbed Dawn into a hug. She looked over Dawn’s shoulder at me.
“I don’t think we should kill anyone, like Anna said,” Emi said. “But Dawn’s more right. It’s more important that we get to be together.”
I sighed.
“It’s not OK what he did,” I said. “What I did to all of you.”
“Oh fuck off,” Ray said, rolling her eyes. “So you got a harem of girls who already loved you? Big fucking deal.”
“I like being in a harem,” Anna said. “I don’t have to worry about boys because you’re Lucas. I’d go in the hot tub again in a second.”
“All of us would,” Dawn said, pushing out of Emi’s arms.
“Iggy first,” Ray said.
“Iggy would’ve pulled all of us in with her,” Anna laughed. “You didn’t know what the potion did, what it was used for, and you wanted to get laid. And when it worked, you still put in the work for Iggy.”
“I know,” I said. “I don’t like what I did, but I love what happened. That’s why I’ve got the big bed.” I bounced my hands on the new comforter. “All of you get naked.”
Ray was quickest. Anna blushed almost as much as she smiled. She also folded every piece of clothes she took off. Dawn couldn’t hit the hamper with any of her throws. Emi went slowly, smiling to herself. She laughed.
“What’s up Emi?”
“Oh,” she said. “I was thinking about how stupid I was.”
“What?” Ray turned and her boobs jiggled intoxicantly when she did. I looked up to Emi.
“Oh, I wouldn’t’ve volunteered for this,” Emi said, stepping out of her jeans. She hooked her thumbs into her panties. “What kind of idiot was I?”
“Oh my god,” I said. “You don’t want to be in the harem?”
“Hell yes I fucking do!” Emi said. She pushed through the other girls and slapped her hands on my chest. “But I made bad decisions. One of those would’ve been to not get in the hot tub if I knew what was in the water. I’m not smart like Anna. I didn’t know what I wanted until you all gave it to me. Look!”
Ray squealed when Emi dragged her across the carpet and hugged up on Ray’s back. Emi stuck her tongue out at me as she grabbed fistfuls of Ray’s boobs. “All of our friends are back.”
“Except Theo,” Dawn said.
“Theo! I was gonna talk to him about all of this!”
“He was on Discord before I came over,” Anna said.
“Where are my bitches at?!”
“Hey Iggy! They’re in Lucas’s room, trying out the new bed!”
“Thanks Kate! You’re the best!”
All of us in the room laughed until Iggy swaggered in. She looked flatly at us all.
“Why the fuck is Lucas still dressed?” she asked, hands on her hip and bottom lip pouting out. She then kicked off her shoes and started unbuttoning her shorts.
“That is a great question,” Emi said. “Maybe he’s been body swapped by alien conquerors to use our wombs as the landing pad of the coming invasion?”
“That sounds like a fun game.” Iggy beamed as she tossed her shirt overhead. She hadn’t come over wearing a bra or panties. She rushed over and jumped, bouncing across the bed to land next to me.
“This is a king-size?” She asked, rolling on her back and starfishing out. “This is amazing! I love it!”
“He was gonna call Theo,” Dawn said. “That’s the real answer.”
“And what?” Iggy sat up. “Rub Theo’s metaphorical face in our literal bare tits?”
“I was gonna ask him what he would do in my situation,” I said. “I don’t know the right way to Sex God.”
“Plus, he wants to kill his father and get arrested and taken away from us,” Dawn said.
“Well that’s fucking stupid.” Iggy flicked me in the ear. Ray ran over and closed my bedroom door that Iggy had left open. She glared.
“What about Kate?”
“Already you forgot about her inability to eavesdrop on us?” Dawn asked, shaking her head.
“Shit sorry, I’m not usually naked with a sex god,.” Ray rolled her eyes.
“That’s the time I would most often choose to be naked,” Emi said.
“No killing anyone,” Iggy flicked my ear. “We’re not gonna kill anyone. Emphasis on We.”
“Iggy!” Anna and Emi seemed aghast.
“No,” I said. “I’m not dosing anyone new.”
“Really?” Anna said. “There’s a whole team of cheerleaders if you want them.”
“That would be fucking Sex God if I’ve ever heard it,” Emi said.
Iggy and Dawn looked at me, hoping to hear a no. I shook my head. “Besides, who knows who Dad fucked. How many other accidental sisters do I have in town?”
“I could ask Mom,” Ray said.
“No, I’m gonna keep my harem,” I said. “There’s gotta be something we can do about Uncle Ryan.”
“He’s gotta save his Mom,” Anna said, looking at Iggy’s questioning face.
“Aw… My little sex god is a mama’s boy,” Iggy said, cuddling up on me. “Call Theo, if you’re gonna. Be quick. I want to hear what kind of sound this headboard makes thumping against the wall.”
She pushed off of me, laughing until she fell back into her big starfish trying to monopolize as much of the bed as possible. I laughed a little too. I stood up, grabbed Emi, who shrieked as I lifted her and threw her on top of Iggy. The pair started wrestling, which wasn’t fair. New brown belt Iggy flipped Emi near instantly and started tickling.
Anna and Ray climbed on, joining in. Emi kicked and shrieked. Dawn smiled a squashed frog-mouthed silly grin at me with widened eyes. I shrugged. I grabbed my computer chair, spun it in front of my desk. I turned the camera so it didn’t show the bed.
“You gonna be able to talk over that?” Dawn said. Iggy’s technical dominance had been lost when the three girls had ganged up on her. Iggy was much more shriekily ticklish than the others.
“He might even find it nostalgic,” I said. I grabbed Dawn’s ass. “You gonna join ’em.”
“You don’t want Theo to see any of us naked,” she said, looking at the camera.
“I might like showing off, but...” I frowned. “I’d rather not force it on him though.”
“Cool,” Dawn kissed me on the lips and turned around. “I’ll try to quiet them down some.”
I smiled at her butt. She was about to get swarmed. Yep, that’s a Dawn scream. I was laughing when I fired up Discord. Luckily Theo was on.
“Hey buddy,” I typed.
“Dude!” Theo replied. “You free? We haven’t played anything in weeks.”
“Girls over. Need advice.”
“Ha! Me, girl advice… OK!... You know when Iggy says to do a whole date first before she’ll go further? Do the whole date.”
“We did.”
“Dude!” And then he fired off a series of high five emojis.
“And, Ray’s back.”
“Shit. I always felt like shit for screwing that up,” he typed.
“How come I didn’t know?”
“I cheated on Anna. I didn’t want to brag about that.”
“Would it have been cheating if you asked first?”
“Dude!”
“Because, I’m sleeping with all of them. They know and are cool with it.”
“Shit man. Iggy finally got fed up and dumped you? That’s the worst. You almost had me with the real date thing.”
“No, I said, I’m sleeping with them all. Iggy, Dawn, Anna, Emi, and… Well not Ray yet.”
“Dude, not funny. Iggy’s the best.”
“Not joking.”
That’s when the video call dial tone started. I looked over at the bed. Dawn was piled upon but the tickling had stopped.
“Let me up please…” Dawn was saying. Anna wiggled her butt across Dawn’s tits.
“No.” She decided and the other three giggled in agreement. Iggy pinned Dawn’s thighs and Ray and Emi had an arm each.
It was amazing watching the girls naked like that.
“I think you have to answer the call to talk to Theo,” Ray said.
I did.
“Hey bud—”
“Hi Theo! I’m naked!” Iggy shouted and started laughing.
Theo pitched forward laughing hard. He shook his head, smiled his crooked smile, and tried again.
“Hi Iggy! I—”
“We’re all naked!” Anna said. I turned and she blushed like a struck match.
“Emi’s boobs aren’t as big as advertised! She stuffs her bra!” Iggy shouted. “Ow don’t pinch my nipples!”
I turned back to Theo and smiled my stupidest smile.
“Yo,” Theo said. “I miss hanging out with cool girls. Most of my new friends out here are dudes and nerds.”
“I heard you were dating someone,” I said. “She cute?”
“Chubby, but yeah,” he said. “She’s awesome.”
“That’s great,” I said.
“Of course she’s not…” he shouted so everyone in the room could clearly hear him, “NOT FIVE GIRLS AWESOME!”
“Aw… That sucks,” Emi said. “Oh my god! We could send him some love potion and he could get five girls!”
“Love potion?” Theo laughed, snorting. “Oh my god.”
“I’m really… with all of them,” I said.
“Yeah, I’ll believe that when—”
Emi came over and hopped naked across my lap. “Hi Theo! Oh I like that shirt!”
Ray peaked over my shoulder and waved. Anna stood behind me and dropped her boobs on top of my head. Dawn leaned across the camera and waved. Iggy was crawling across the floor, about to rise up in front of me like a snake out of a charmer’s basket. I grabbed her shoulders before she could flash Theo her tits.
Theo stood gaping.
“All of us!” Emi said, licking her lips and then my cheek.
Theo burst out laughing. “God! I miss you guys! You and Ray are OK now Anna?”
“Almost,” Anna said. She had to push my head down into Emi’s tits to get her eyes into the shot. “Getting there. Lucas helps.”
“Girls, go, you’re gonna break him and I need guy advice,” I said.
Iggy grabbed her nose, inflated her cheeks and sunk down like a 70s dancer. She sat on the floor and leaned the back of her head against my knee. Emi didn’t move. Anna blew a kiss. Ray waved. They went back to bed. Dawn tilted away and tilted back in frame.
“If you saved this video, you don’t share it!”
“I didn’t save the video!” Theo said, aghast at himself.
I laughed madly.
“No fair! I didn’t get to flash Theo like the rest of you!” Iggy said from the floor. “If he’s gonna get a pic, he should get a full pic. He’s Theo!”
“So you got this with a love potion, huh?” Theo said. “That’s the only way it makes sense.”
“Yeah, apparently my dad, Uncle Ryan made it,” I said.
“They were in college together, right?” Theo said. “Emi, are you gonna be there the whole time?”
“Is that OK?” she asked from my lap, smiling and turned her shoulder to better flash her tits at Theo.
“You’re asking me? Yes titties!” he said.
“You look but only I touch,” I said. “I’m not gonna share beyond that.”
“Dude, if I thought you were I’d be on a plane back out that way,” he said. “You look great Emi. Even in clothes.”
“Thanks! I love you, Theo!” she waved and kissed me. She climbed off of my lap, tripped on Iggy’s head and fell down on her beneath my computer desk. I tilted back and looked down.
“You girls OK?”
“Iggy broke my fall,” Emi said.
“I’m OK!” Iggy said.
“Cool, plug my monitor back in?”
“Jesus Man,” Theo said, in wondrous exasperation through my speakers. “You are either the luckiest man in the world or the evilest.”
“95% luck, 5% evil!” Iggy shouted as she plugged my monitor back into the power bar. It was gonna take a moment to get everything up and running. Theo was sitting there chuckling silently. Iggy went off charging the bed where the girls had congregated again. There was much shrieky giggling.
“Yeah, so that,” I said, smirking.
“Iggy’s insane,” Theo said. “You’ve always deserved her.”
“I’m gonna take that as a compliment.”
“You’re the only one who would,” he said. “Which is why it’s true.”
“So, what do I do?”
“Stimulants and viagra? Do you drink coffee? Start.”
I laughed, grinning. “Look, let’s say you found out someone had been messing with your mom, your girlfriend, and your friends’ moms, sisters. Basically all of the girls you know.”
“What like an evil god?” he said. “I’d become an atheist.”
“OK, I’m being weird,” I said.
“Yeah, you got a room full of naked girls and called me,” he said. “I’ve never felt so pretty.”
“You’re gorgeous!” Iggy shouted.
He blushed and shook his head.
“What happened is, when my dad was in college he stumbled upon this chemical that gets into you when it’s dissolved in water,” I said. “When it gets into a woman they get really suggestible.”
“Sounds like fun,” he said.
“I thought it was just Mom voodoo bath salts and I put it in the hot tub and invited the girls over,” I said.
“Wait, you’re serious?”
“Now he’s our sex god!” Emi shouted.
Theo tilted his head and considered it. “Are you still using it?”
“No!”
“And he’s got, like, way more doses!” Iggy said. “Do you want them Theo?”
“Sounds like things worked out for the best. So, stop feeling guilty,” Theo said. “Sure, it’s a little fucked up, but you’ve manned up and the girls love you, man. They did before. Run with it.”
“Yeah,” I said. “That’s what they said. Good advice.”
“But?” Theo said. “I don’t have five girls to hot tub with me, nor a hot tub if you sent it to me. Could you load it into a super soaker and make a mind control ray?”
“I think it takes minutes or an hourish of submersion to work,” I said. “And Mom’s been washing the women of town’s hair with the stuff for the last sixteen years.”
“Dude!” Theo said.
“Um… What’s your middle name?”
“The.”
“Theodore The Kremensky?” I said, flatly.
“No, but that would be the best middle name, right?” he said, laughing.
“Oh!” Anna rushed over and climbed into my lap.
“Hi again,” he said, seeing Anna’s boobs turn red in her blushing smile.
“Theodore Christian Kremensky!”
“What?” he said.
“Good, you haven’t been dosed,” I said.
“It works on dudes too?” he asked.
“If you get them young,” I said, frowning. I was rubbing Anna’s butt and thighs as she sat across my lap. She was biting her lip at me.
“So if I said Lucas—”
“Don’t!” The girls jumped up from the bed, rushing over into the camera as Theodore finished.
“—Cornelius Greentree Esquire.”
A bunch of naked bodies collided into me. Theodore rolled his chair back and laughed madly.
“Yeah, it can put me in a trance for more control,” I said. “I made the girls promise they wouldn’t do it to me.”
“And do you still do it to them? Do they do it to each other?” he asked.
“No, not once I found out what Uncle Ryan did.”
“We do it to each other all the time!” Iggy laughed. Ray nodded. Anna turned her smile away from me. Emi started rubbing my shoulders.
“Guys!” I said, offended.
“Oh, it’s nothing bad,” Anna said. “Emi wanted to borrow Iggy’s clothes without making a big deal out of it. Ray wanted help keeping herself off of sweets. All kinds of stuff made easier.”
“Why didn’t you tell me today when I asked you about your programmings?”
“We didn’t start it on each other until you checked in on us,” Dawn said.
“Theo!” Emi said, leaning down to look him in the eye. “Lucas’s dad continues to use the chemical and power on Kate, on Vonnie, and has used it on Iggy. Lucas is pissed and he wants to stop him. Tell him not to commit murder. Maybe use his name and make him forgive his dad?”
“You met your dad?” Theo said. “That’s big news.”
“It’s Uncle Ryan,” I said. “He just wanted to out on—”
“Dude! Ray’s your sister!” Theo said, turning white. “Oh my god! That is so messed up!”
“How did you know Uncle Ryan was my dad?”
“He had a talk with me after we… caused that big fight with Anna,” Theo said. “He wasn’t gonna let me out being a father like he had.”
“All of that fucking shit he did,” I said. “To the women I love. I want to stop him.”
“Murder’ll do that,” Theo said.
“Theo!” Anna growled.
“No!” Emi hugged me hard and shook her head. Iggy nodded, and tried not to meet Dawn’s eyes who had her hands on her hip and was glaring at Theo.
“There you go, Lucas,” Theo said. “No murder, or you have to deal with that.”
“Lucas? Is that Lucas, Theo? I haven’t seen him in over a year!” Theo’s Mom’s voice came from off camera. My girls shrieked and ran off screen. Anna tripped over the armrest of my chair. Mrs Kremensky leaned in as Theo sat rigid with his eyes wide open.
“Hi Lucas! You look good! I’ll leave you boys to your games—” her face dropped into a frown as Anna picked herself up at a run. Her bare ass was caught in the camera.
“Say hi to Iggy for me.”
“Hi-ii!” Iggy shouted.
Theo’s mom waved, she rubbed her son’s hair, and left the room. We heard the door get pulled closed hard.
“Dude,” I said.
“Dude,” he said.
“I got a new king sized bed,” I said.
“I’ll leave you to it,” he said.
* * *