Special Counseling
Chapter 4
Jak woke up the next morning feeling quite refreshed. “Morning sleepy head” said the nurse to Jak. “This new nurse is certainly more perking then the last one” Jak thinks to herself “I wonder how…why she keep her hair and make up so flawless working in a prison”. Jak look down and sees bandages all over her body, “I am afraid you cut yourself up pretty good from the fall” The Nurse said. Jak wonder how that was possible, failing to notice that the bandages where covering up her tattoos. The Doctor soon arrived and cleared her to return to population.
Only a few inmates gave her a wide berth for breakfast, which concerned Jak. “Could they know already?” she thinks to herself. As she eats her food a few brave soul even sat down next to her, she was about to do something about this, until she looked up and saw the Warden looking at her through the guard station window. She realize any action on her part would show that so called progress she had made was a facade …… is it a facade..right? Jak was quite disturbed that she entertained that thought for even a moment. Later that morning as she sat straight up in her seat in the middle of the classroom She notices the warden at the door again. “Change me, like you could perv” she thinks as she returns her attention to the teacher and her notes on the lecture.
As she walk to the session the incident at breakfast rattle in her mind, prehaps this good girl act is causing more problem then it’s worth. “Toilet duty or not it time to make a stand” she thinks to herself “Time to show this pervert I can’t be control” she got a look at her reflection in the varnish on the door. Standard jeans, white T-shirt, and gray hoodie, as neat and crease less as they could be without the benefits of an iron, the shirt was tucked in, the jeans properly fit above her hips and the hoodie was tight enough to modestly accentuate the few curves she did have. The holes in her nose and lower lip were closing up. Her hair in a ponytail with her natural dark brown emerging from the rapidly fading purple, green and gold. “It time to show him who’s in charge” Jak thinks as she opens the door
Inside Jak found herself face to face with the warden. She looked him right in the eye and opened her mouth to let him have it (Everyone speak kindly and gently to me AS I WOULD TO THEM) The words stuck in her throat. They literally wouldn’t come out. What the hell was up with that? She was angry and confused. (The more I act like a LADY, the HAPPIER I WILL BE) Something about the warden’s eyes held her gaze. For reasons she didn’t understand it reminded her of a campfire: something that would keep her warm and safe from the creatures lurking in the darkness. Jak couldn’t recall the last time she’d felt really safe. For a moment she saw herself stepping into his arms which would close around her as though she was somebody precious. Her eyes started to burn and she blinked rapidly hoping that she wouldn’t turn into some sissy crybaby.
But cry she did the tears begin flow from her eyes. Jak has never felt so vulnerable in her life and before she could react she found herself in the wardens arm. “Oh My poor Jacqueline” The Warden said “You have quite the troubling few day” the feel of his three piece suit next to her body made the Warden use of Jak proper name go completely unnoticed (Jacqueline is such a LOVELY Name). It was just how she imagine it...So Warm....So SAFE....So Precious.....She was Precious....not tough....PRECIOUS....SO PRECIOUS. Jac wrapped her arms around his waste. “I can’t help but feel responsible” The Warden said “I pushed you way to hard yesterday and I feel awful about” “It okay” Jacu..Jak Replied " wait what did I just say” Jak thinks to herself as the dreaded feel of reality shake her out of her state of Bliss. “No is not” The Warden said as he pulls away from her. One part of Jak felt relieve another sad.
“I was in the wrong and I must correct it” said the Warden as he wipe the tears from Jak cheek. his touch is so gentle ...gentleman..he’s a Gentleman I’m a Lad..... Jak pinches herself to prevent the thought from being completed. The Warden pulls a small box out of his jacket “I hope this will be show how sorry I am” the Warden said as he open the box. Jak look at the gift in disbelief “it’s the diamond ring from my dream” Jak thinks to herself. “Um I...I...I”Jak stumble over her words “Now I will be having none of that” said the Warden as he slid the ring on Jak finger. Jac was so mesmerize by the ring she hardly notice The Warden putting her pearls around her neck. Jac just stare at her Beautiful Diamond Ring and then all of a sudden a butterfly landed on her hands. Perplex Jac looked up to see if the window was open, it was closed Jak looked down and the butterfly was gone.
She swallowed trying to ease the tightness in her throat. The hostility had drained out of her, as if washed away by her tears. She had come in here determined to get away as soon as possible and now she didn’t want to leave. She was still staring at the ring, the way the lights and colors shifted within the stone. It was so pretty, so lovely. (Jacqueline is such a lovely name). She shook her head. This was crazy. There was no room in her life for pretty things like this. Nor could she quite believe he’d actually apologized to her. In her experience adults, especially male authority figures didn’t apologize for anything, certainly not to her. She felt a warmth in her chest in a place where there’d only been cold emptiness before. “Thank you, sir,” she said almost as if embarrassed. Nothing in her life had prepared her for this. She wasn’t sure what to do.
“It’s my honor” said the Warden “After all Beautiful Ladies should have Beautiful things”. Conflicting emotion arise within Jak as her cheek blushed from the compliment. “Now on to today lesson” said The Warden as Jak place herself in her favorite chair.
“Poise.... it is composure, dignity of manner and graceful and elegant bearing in a person” The Warden begin “Poise in a Lady is a beautiful thing. It is one of the signatures of a beautiful and elegant Lady.....Now Jacul....Jak What is Poise?” “Oh no not this again” Jak think to herself (The more I act like a LADY, the HAPPIER I WILL BE) “Poise is composure and dignity of manner. It is a graceful and elegant bearing in a person.” Jac said with a strange sense of confidence. “Excellent” The Warden said as he hands Jac a book. “What page would you like me to read from Sir” Jacul.....Jak said. “Oh you are not going to read from that book ...you are going to balance it on your head” said Warden as his eye directed Jac to the corner of the room. She look over and what Jak saw filled her with horror .....HIGH HEELS
Jak winced. She’d tried on a former foster mother’s high heels once, taken two steps and landed flat on her face. Granted the shoes had been way too big for her. For a moment she felt a spark of hope which promptly fizzled out. Her shoe size was in her file, and even if these didn’t fit, no doubt the Warden had other pairs that would. She stood up and shuffled over to the corner. These shoes were white and felt like real leather. Next to them was a box of those little footie things they had in shoe stores. Jak sat on a stool and took off her sneakers and socks. She put on some footies and then slid her feet into the shoes. For a moment she was reminded of that scene where Cinderella tries on the glass slipper they fit that well. At least these shoes weren’t made out of glass. A girl could get sliced up real bad. She stood up and nearly fell over. Waving her arms and leaning back she almost landed on her ass and had to spread her feet to regain her balance. How the hell was she supposed to walk in these things if she couldn’t even stand up? And balancing a book on her head? Forget about it! The book! Jak felt her jaw clench as she realized she’d left it on the table near the chair she’d been sitting in. Maybe, maybe if she braced herself against the wall... Damn, why did the carpet have to be so thick? She wobbled along, her usual shuffling stride unsteady as her ankles and knees did their own thing. So much for ‘dignity of manner’ and ‘elegant bearing’. She probably looked like a drunken baby giraffe to the Warden. Don’t look at him, she told herself. If she saw him smirk, there was no telling what she’d do. The table with the book was about six feet away from her. With nothing to grab hold of in between. You can do this, she told herself. Just two quick steps. Jak pushed herself off the wall and took one step but something when she tried to take the second one. She didn’t know and she didn’t really care since she was falling forward with that table in the way. She put up her arms to protect her face and braced for impact.
But there was no impact to be had just the feel of an arm sweeping in to protect her from a fall. For the second time today she found herself in the Warden arms and that feeling of being safe surged through her body. “Pace yourself Darling” The Warden said as he grab her hand to steady her “You need to make smaller steps” Jak did as she was told as she begin to move, she felt awkward but stable. The Warden hold ing her hand felt like the ultimate safe blanket. “His touch is safe…warm…Gentle….Gentleman…he’s a Gentlemen I’m a Lad….Did he call me Darling!?!” Jak thinks to herself as they approached the desk. The Warden lets go of her hand and positions her. He place the book on her head and it immeditlity falls off, it took a mere 10 more times before Jak could keep it some what balance on her head and that was while she was standing still. The Warden walk over to the other side of the room “Remember…” The Warden said as he reaches his hands out to Jak “Now walk to me” A thought pop into jacks head “if I fall he will catch me, he will always catch me” That sense of warmth arise in Jac again and with it a new sense of confidence, with this newfound confidence Jacu…Jak took her first step
She felt the book wobble and froze. She couldn’t tilt her head or it would slide off. Smaller steps, right, she could do this, she thought peering down. Farther back in her mind part of her wondered why the hell she wanted to. And what was up with this ‘Darling’ business? she asked herself as she inched across the floor. She’d never been anybody’s darling, and he hadn’t sounded sarcastic or mean when he said it. Or was she imagining it? Before all this Special Counseling had started Jak had lived in a black & white world. Not the absolutes, there were plenty of shades of gray, but not much color. (As a LADY My world is generally a more PLEASANT place) Favorite things like toys and books could be taken or destroyed by somebody bigger and stronger. Always small for her age, Jak had learned to be ferocious when she fought. Even now at a mere 5′2″ and 100 pounds she was hardly the biggest girl here, she guessed these heels added about three inches to her height. And this wasn’t actually all THAT bad, not really. (The more I act like a LADY, the HAPPIER I WILL BE) She just had to keep her back straight, her steps small. Warm hands engulfed hers and looking up she saw the Warden smiling at her. “You did it, Jacqueline!” He leaned in and kissed her cheek. She was so startled her head jerked and the book slid to the floor.