The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

I woke up several times with nightmares. I kept replaying everything that happened with Josh. The look on his face when he gave me the ultimatum. How strong he was as he held me down. The way he drove himself in and out of my mouth as if I was an object for him to use.

But it wasn’t just Josh I was seeing. It wasn’t just the rape that kept waking me up.

The face of the man with the golden shining eyes also kept me awake. My head ached at the thought of him and the feelings of fear and dread that accompanied his face.

What is wrong with me? I wondered. Who is this man and where have I met him? Or was he just a figment of subconscious that my mind created to deal with the trauma?

I didn’t have the answers to any of those questions and they ran through my mind as I lay there desperately trying to get back to sleep.

The next morning was a Saturday and I woke up after a horrible night with a bad stomach ache. I lay in bed for as long as I could as I listened to my little sister and brother go downstairs to eat breakfast.

My clock read nine when Mom came up to check on me. She knocked on my bedroom door and let herself in.

“Alicia? Sweetheart? You didn’t come down for breakfast.”

“My stomach and head hurt. I think I am sick, Mom.”

She crossed the room and put a hand on my forehead.

“You don’t have a fever, but maybe something you ate didn’t agree with you. Did you eat anything strange last night?”

I wanted to just blurt it all out. To tell her what happened. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I was so ashamed.

“Just a burger and fries.”

“Well that shouldn’t have made you sick. But, it’s a Saturday so at least you won’t miss school.”

She went to the bathroom and got a wet washcloth which she put on my forehead. Then she moved my trashcan over next to the bed.

“Just in case you need to throw up. You lay in bed and rest. I will check in on you a little later today.”

So, I just lay there.

Sometimes I cried. When the tears came, I put my face in the pillow to muffle them so that no one else could hear.

Mom came to check on me every couple of hours. She brought me homemade chicken soup for lunch and dinner. I wasn’t hungry, but I forced myself to eat. That night she gave me some Nyquil and tucked me in at around seven.

My sleep that night was no better than the night before. The nightmares still came, and they left me afraid and exhausted the next morning.

It was Sunday and, even though I was still feeling sick, I knew Mom was going to make me go to church. I dragged myself out of bed at eight and went to get Mike and Terry up. It was my responsibility to get them to breakfast and ready for church.

When we came downstairs Dad was passed out in the living room. We were as quiet as possible so as not to wake him up. While church was mandatory for us, it was always optional for Dad and I think we all felt better on those days when he was too hungover to come.

Mom made bacon and eggs, but I wasn’t sure I could keep anything that heavy down, so I had some cereal instead. Mom didn’t like it, she always wanted us to have a full breakfast, but she didn’t say anything.

Thirty minutes later we got in the car, leaving Dad snoozing in his easy chair, and Mom drove us across town to church. As I sat in the back of Mom’s minivan my head and stomach began to get more and more wonky.

When we pulled into the parking lot my head was pounding, and my stomach heaved. I barely got the door of the van open before throwing up my breakfast on the asphalt.

“Ewwww gross!” Mike said from behind me.

“Mom, Alicia just threw up.” Terry said, “Are you OK?”

I looked up into my little sister’s innocent eyes and the look of concern for my well-being was so pure that it magnified the shame I felt. I wanted nothing more than to lay down on that cold asphalt and let the whole story pour out of me like a river.

But I knew couldn’t.

My mother came around the van, saw the mess, and gave me a tissue to wipe my mouth.

“Alicia,” she said bending over to hug me, “Let me just take Terry and Mike inside and I will drive you home.”

Going home sounded nice. But I knew how important church was to my mother.

“No, it is OK. I can make it. It’s not like there is anything else for me to throw up.”

Mom looked at me with concern in her eyes while Mike and Terry got out of the van carefully avoiding the vomit on the ground next to the van door.

“Are you sure honey? I can take you home. It’s no problem.”

“I got it Mom. Let’s go inside. If I start to feel bad again, I can get up and go rest in the choir room.”

Mom looked skeptical but didn’t argue.

We walked up the church steps and into the main auditorium. We slid into our favorite seats, five rows back from the front on the left side of the aisle.

Sitting down made me feel a little bit better and by the time Father James came in and walked up to his lectern to begin the service, I was certain I could make it through.

Father James made the announcements and then, as he typically did, called us forth to receive Communion. When it was time for our row to go, Mom pushed my brother and sister out in front of her and I followed.

Father James was administering the Eucharist to the worshipers one-by-one. With each person receiving a small amount of wine and a blessed cracker, which represents the blood and body of Christ. My stomach recoiled at the thought of swallowing even a little bit of warm and sour wine, but I was in line and couldn’t beg off without drawing attention.

First Mike, then Terry, and finally Mom knelt in front of the Father, received his blessing and accepted the wine while he placed the cracker on their tongue.

When it was my turn I knelt carefully, because my head was still so fuzzy, I felt like I might fall, and opened my mouth. I looked up at him, directly in the eyes as I had been taught all my life, to receive his blessing.

Then the Father reached out and placed the cracker in my mouth and as he did so, his fingers grazed my bottom lip.

As soon as our skin touched his mouth turned into a sneer.

One second, he was looking down at me with the benevolent face of my family priest. The next he was looking at me through a mask of pure rage.

Shaken, I got up and followed Mom back to our seats. I kept telling myself that I had imagined it. After all, what could Father James have to be so angry with me about?

When the service ended, Father James and the deacons went to the back of the aisle, at the entrance to the church, and shook the hand of every member of the congregation on the way out.

My family went down the line shaking each hand and Mom spoke briefly to each of the deacons. I was last in line. When I reached Father James, I offered my hand.

And he tried to break it.

His strength was incredible as he crushed my tiny hand in his much larger one. I tried to pull back, but I he held me firmly.

“Hello, Alicia. Did you enjoy the service?” he said looking directly into my eyes. I noticed that while he was smiling, his eyes looked like he wanted to hit me.

“Yes, Father James.” I said trying to extract my hand from his grip.

“Good. It is nice to see you my child. I will see you again on Thursday, yes?”

I nodded to him. He released my hand.

Holding my hand gently, I walked down the stairs following Mom, Mike, and Terry to the car.

Halfway across the parking lot I looked back and saw that Father James was watching us walk.

After lunch I went up to my room and rested the remainder of the day. Mom checked on me a couple of times, but mostly everyone left me alone.

Around six I got out of bed and took a shower. I cried myself to sleep that night and I had nightmares about Josh.

They were interspersed with flashes of the golden-eyed man.

Monday morning came too soon, but I managed to haul myself out of bed, eat a few bites of breakfast, and get in the car to go and pick up Margo Jane. I was terrified of seeing her. I just knew I was going to instantly blurt out the truth: Josh raped me.

But I knew that I couldn’t tell her. It was too awful to be true and what is she didn’t believe me? Plus, I was the one who willingly started to blow him. So, technically did he rape me? All I knew was that I felt tremendous shame.

Or worse, what if she did believe me and she looked at me with pity in her eyes. I knew I couldn’t stand Margo Jane looking at me like that.

I pulled up into her driveway. She threw her bookbag in the backseat and got in. No sooner did she have her seatbelt on than she turned to me with a huge grin on her face.

“Spill it. Right now. All the details. Every filthy little thing you did Friday night. Don’t leave anything out.”

Tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn’t hold them back and I just started crying right there in front of her. She reached across the center console and hugged me.

“Alicia? What is it? What happened?”

So, I lied to her. In-between sobs I told her that Josh and I had gone to dinner and then the movie.

“But afterward,” I said still sobbing a little “We got in his car and parked. He… he wanted more, and I wasn’t ready. So, he broke up with me.”

“He broke up with you? Just like that? Oh my god!”’

It hurt to lie to her. But I could not tell her the truth, could I?

As I drove us to school Margo kept touching my leg and arm to comfort me. When we got to the parking lot she waited patiently while I fixed my makeup.

When we walked into school we were greeted with the sight of Sara, on her first day back from her suspension, hanging out in front of her locker. She was talking with her friends and as we walked up her attitude changed abruptly, and she glared at me with hatred in her eyes.

I had just opened my locker to get my books, when Margo Jane elbowed me. When I looked at her, she motioned her head behind me.

There was Josh. He was walking down the hall with a couple other football players. As he walked behind us, he spoke, but not to me.

“Hi, Sara. Nice to have you back. You are looking very pretty today.”

I turned to watch him walk away and couldn’t help but see Sara across the hall. She smiled a shit-eating grin at me, closed her locker, and walked off with her friends in the direction that Josh had gone.

“Fuck him and fuck her.” Margo Jane said in a whisper.

I didn’t say anything. Just closed my locker and went to class.

Word travels quickly in high school and juicy gossip like Josh and I breaking up flew around the school at lightning speed. Even though I didn’t tell anyone except Margo Jane, by lunch the entire school seemed to know.

And Josh being the most popular boy in school, well that meant that I was the one who took the blame for the end of our relationship. At least that is the impression I got from the stares and giggles that followed me for the next two days.

It got worse on Wednesday afternoon. Hockey practice had just ended, and we were packing up the equipment when Josh walked up to the field with a couple of his buddies.

Sara made a show of walking up to him, putting her arms around his neck, and kissing him. He kissed her back and ran his hands down the side of her body in a very familiar way.

They walked off arm-in-arm and never looked my way.

“That didn’t take long,” said Margo Jane walking over to me.

“No, it didn’t.” I replied dryly.

Margo Jane and I walked into the school, retuned the practice equipment to the equipment room, and then took our shower. She didn’t say anything, for which I was grateful.

Once we got in the car she finally spoke.

“I said it before, and I will say it again: fuck her and fuck him.”

I just nodded.

“Alicia… look this sucks! I know it does. You are hurting right now and that is totally understandable. Especially since he already went and asked out that bitch. But… really, I think you will see eventually that you got lucky. I mean he wasn’t good enough for you. Not even close.”

She put her hand on my shoulder and pulled me into a hug. We sat there in an embrace for a while. Afterwards I drove her home.

When we got to her house and pulled into the driveway, she turned to me again.

“I want you to feel better. Say “Fuck Him” for me.”

“No.”

“Yes, or I am not getting out of the car.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it.”

Knowing she wouldn’t leave the car until I said it, I gave in.

“Fuck him.”

It did feel good to say it. She hugged me again, kissed my cheek with a big smacking sound, and then got out of the car. She waved to me from her front lawn as I pulled away.

The next day was Thursday and it snowed most of the day.

Again, I had to endure the stares and whispers as I walked around school. It was hard not to let it get to me so I was relieved when school ended.

After school I really just wanted to go back home, do my homework, and go to bed. But I had promised Father James to help him again, so I drove over the church.

What had happened on Sunday? I couldn’t have just been imagining that look. He was angry with me for something, but what?

The Christmas decorations had been put up since Sunday. The pine trees that ringed the parking lot were decorated with lights and the small electronic billboard built into the brick sign showed a countdown of “20 Days until Christmas!”

The basement was dark and empty as always.

When I knocked on Father James door, he flung it open and I had a brief glimpse of his eyes glowing a bright yellow gold before he grabbed me by my arm, lifted me off my feet, and threw me onto his living room floor.

His hand burned when he touched me.

The door slammed behind me and I heard three locks click closed.

He stood above me like a towering god. His eyes blazed. I could see what looked like tiny little bursts of fire leaking out from his mouth and nose. As soon as his eyes focused on me I felt myself falling back into my mind a bit.

“You little bitch! Did you think I wouldn’t know? Did you think you could get away with it?”

He kicked me in my stomach and knocked the wind out of me. The room was so stifling hot, it felt like the heat was coming from him, that I was having trouble breathing anyway.

“Who was it? Who? Who did you defile yourself with? You will tell me, or I will hurt you!”

His hand grabbed the collar of my shirt and hauled me to my feet. He was so strong that he was able to manhandle me like a doll.

Then he grabbed my head in both hands and forced me to look directly in to a huge mirror that covered one of the walls of the room. This all felt familiar somehow, despite the terror coursing through my body.

He loomed over me with his eyes leaking golden fire and as I watched everything around us began to change. Reflexively I closed my eyes and opened my mouth to scream.

Instead I found myself shoved hard into the mirror and my face was mashed against it.

“Don’t say a fucking word. Open your eyes. Open your eyes and look or I will force them open.”

I felt him pull me back away from the mirror. The pressure of his hands on my head was so great that it was causing me tremendous pain, so I did as he ordered and opened my eyes. The heat of the room, or was it his body, had me drenched in sweat.

He leaned down to my ear and began to chant.

The room reflected around us turned into a whirlwind of color and light. His eyes continued to burn and flash with anger. Behind his head I thought I could make out the outline of thick leathery wings sprouting from his back, but before I could focus on them, I felt myself falling deeper into my mind and the other “Alicia” took control.

The room stopped swirling in the mirror.

He released my head and I found myself standing there like a good little puppet waiting for his instructions.

He spun me around, put his right hand under my chin, and lifted me up off the floor by my throat.

“Who was it? Tell me. Tell me now!”

So, I told him.

I opened my mouth and, while dangling there from his hand, the entire story came out of me in a rush. The dinner. The movie. Sitting in the car. Leaning over and taking Josh in my mouth. How I saw his face, Father James’s face, although I didn’t remember until now who it was. Josh’s dick pumping in and out of my mouth while he held me down and raped me.

When the story was done, he lowered me back to my feet. We stood there, less than a foot apart, while he stared at me with his shining eyes.

“You are telling the truth,” he said.

He took my face into his hands, gently this time, and pulled me closer to him. The heat from his body was overwhelming, but his touch was a soft caress.

“I… I was angry with you. When I sensed that you touched another, I thought that you had… I thought that you had done it willingly.”

The heat in the room slackened a bit and I felt the other “Alicia” relax a little.

“Can you forgive me my child?”

“There is nothing to forgive, Father James.”

“Tell me about him Alicia. Tell me everything.”

So, I told him everything I could think of about Josh. Where he lived. What he did for fun. What his school and football schedule was. Even his favorite foods.

He was just about to speak again when, from outside the door came the sound of a loud bang, and then the voices of children.

The daycare was in the next room.

He acted quickly.

“I cannot take away your pain my child. Not yet. You are not far enough along. But I can take care of the problem. Now, look back in the mirror again.”

I did as he directed, and he stood behind me and chanted into my ear as the intensity of his eyes increased.

Just as before, the room in the mirror swirled in reverse and I felt myself rise again and enter my body. As the mirror slowed, so too did the glow in his eyes recede.

He guided me to the door, unlocked it, and then we walked out into the next room together.

There were ten children, and Mrs. Keith the daycare teacher who I knew from church, gathered around one of the tables working on a puzzle.

“Oh! Hello Father James. Hello Alicia,” Mrs. Keith said to us as we came out of his room. The look on her face was very suspicious of a young girl being alone with Father James in his apartment.

“Hello Carol,” Father James replied “Alicia here was just… helping me move some furniture in my room. We were about to start sorting some of the toys for the charity drive.”

From the look on Mrs. Keith’s face it was obvious she was uncomfortable with the situation, but she kept her opinion to herself.

“Certainly Father. Kids, what do you say we give Alicia and the father a hand?”

The kids hopped up from the table and ran across the room to the toy boxes. With their help the work went fast and within forty-five minutes we were done.

While the kids went back to their puzzles, Father James walked me outside.

It was still snowing, and the wind had picked up. He walked me to my car. We stopped right next to it and he pulled me into a brief hug. I thought about pulling away for a second, but for some reason I couldn’t put a finger on, I felt myself relax and put my head down onto his shoulder.

After a moment he stepped back and lifted a hand to cup my chin.

“Do not worry my child. Everything will be alright. Go home and I will see you on Sunday.”

The next day, Friday, at school was actually worse than the last four days. The stares. The whispers. The rumors about me flew around the school.

I didn’t know exactly what was being said, but I knew that I was the only topic of the gossip mill that week. Worse yet, was seeing Josh and Sara walking down the hall arm-in-arm.

The following morning, I slept late again. I spent most of the morning reading in my room. Mom came to check on me a couple of times. She was obviously worried about me but didn’t try to make me talk about it.

At two PM, almost exactly, the doorbell rang.

“Alicia,” Mom said calling up the stairs “Can you come down here please.”

I went down stairs and I found the police waiting for me.

There were two cops. One tall with a runner’s build, the other short and squat with a huge gut.

They looked very serious.

The tall one spoke first.

“Alicia Colby?”

I nodded.

“Please sit down. We have some questions for you.”

I must have looked terrified, which I certainly was. Mom and Dad, who was thankfully sober and seemed not to be hungover, sat on either side of me, while the cop say across from us on the edge of a chair.

“Alicia, you are not in any trouble. We are here about your boyfriend Josh Hamburg. As I said, you are not in any trouble. But we need to know what you know about Josh and what happened last night.”

“He isn’t my boyfriend anymore. He is dating Sara now. Sara Parker. And I didn’t see him last night.”

“Wait,” Mom interjected “You and Josh broke up? When did this happen?”

“Last Friday Mom. Its Ok.”

The policeman continued his questions.

“When did you last see him Alicia?”

“Yesterday. At school. But I didn’t talk to him.”

“Did you know he had a football game last night?”

“Yes,” I said “But, I didn’t go.”

“Do you know how we can contact Miss Parker?”

“No. I don’t talk to her at all.”

“I have her parent’s number her somewhere officer,” Mom said as she got off the couch and went into the study to look for it.

“What happened to Josh?” my Father asked.

“I am afraid I can’t talk about at this time, sir.”

“Well, no officer, you can talk about it at this time. You come here on a Saturday, scare the hell out of us, and start questioning my daughter. I think you owe us an explanation.”

The tall policeman looked at his partner who just nodded.

“We found Mr. Hamburg last night at around 2 AM. He had crashed his car into a guardrail at exit 20 off I-95. He was found naked and covered in his own blood.”

“Oh, that is terrible,” Mom said coming back into the room and handing a Post-it to the officer “There is their number.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Colby. We will call her when we leave here. Alicia, Josh kept repeating your name, along with another word.”

“What word?”

“Priest. He was saying your name, then the word “priest” over and over again. When our officers approached him, he physically assaulted them. We had to use the taser on him and then restrain him. Alicia, do you know why he was saying your name and the word “priest”? Does that mean anything to you?”

“No.”

The officers exchanged a glance.

I am not sure what they expected from me. The only priest I knew was Father James and, as far as I was aware, he and Josh had never met.

“Alicia. It is very important that we find out what happened to Josh. We know that he left the school after the football game at ten and, according to witnesses, he was on his way to buy beer for a party. Did you know he had a fake ID?”

I nodded.

My mother, totaling ignoring the cops for a second, grabbed my hand and turned me to face her.

“Alicia Mae Colby! Have you been drinking?”

“No, Mom.”

“Were you with him in his car after he had been drinking?”

She was shaking. From fear of anger I couldn’t tell.

“No. He never drove me after having a drink.”

“You better not be drinking.”

For obvious reasons, Mom was always worried about me drinking. She would often check my breath when I would get home after being out late.

The tall policeman cleared his throat and then continued.

“After he left the school parking lot he wasn’t seen again until we found him on the side of the road. Alicia, if you know anything that could help us, please tell us now.”

“I don’t know anything, sir. We haven’t spoken since we broke up. Maybe Sara can help you.”

The officers thanked me and my parents and let themselves out the front door. My mom, sitting next to me on the couch, embraced me.

“Alicia, why didn’t you tell us that you and Josh broke up?”

“I don’t know Mom.”

“Is that why you have been moping around here the last week?”

“I guess so.”

She hugged me tighter and Dad put a hand on my knee.

“You need to tell us these things, baby. Your Dad and I are here to help you. You can always come and talk to us.”

“Yes, Ma’am. Can I be excused?”

“Of course, you can.”

I went back up to my room and closed the door. I lay down on my bed and cried for a little while. I am not sure if I was crying for Josh or because of him. Afterwards I called Margo Jane and give her all the details.

Dad stayed sober that night and we all ended up on the couch watching a movie. I went to bed around ten and the nightmares came again that night, the same as they had every night since it happened.

The next day, with Dad again not hungover, we all went to church together. After church, as we filed out past the deacons, my mother stopped to chat with Father James.

“Good morning Father. Lovely sermon today.”

“Thank you, Christine. It is lovely to see you here, especially with the entire family.”

He extended a hand to my father and they shook.

“Alicia,” he said looking at me “Will I be seeing you on Thursday for the Toy Drive?”

“Not this week Father,” my Mother replied “She has hockey game that day. Right Alicia?”

I had completely forgotten that until she mentioned it. Had I promised Father James I would help, when I couldn’t?

“But she is out of school after Friday. Could she help you on Saturday?”

Oh my god! Now she is volunteering my Saturdays!?

“Mom! I mean…”

“Honey, you can give up one Saturday to help the Father. It will be good for you. Besides, that will be 11 days before Christmas, and you can help make all those children so happy.”

“I promise we will have a lot of fun, my child,” said the Father.

“Ok,” I said knowing I couldn’t win “See you on Saturday Father.”

He nodded and smiled.

After church Mom and Dad took us to our favorite pizza place for lunch. Then we all went to Mike’s soccer game, before taking Terry to her favorite place: the book store. We even had dinner together, without Dad drinking, as a family that night

It was a good day.

Monday, however, was decidedly not a good day.

By then everyone had heard about Josh’s accident and the whole school was upset about it. As Margo Jane and I walked towards the front entrance, a silence descended on a crowd that was gathered outside. Everyone looked uncomfortable and kept looking at me out of the side of their eyes.

Then I heard a voice behind me.

“It’s all her fault.”

Turning around I came face-to-face with Sara.

“It’s all her fault,” She said again, louder this time “She is the one who caused Josh to get in that wreck.”

Margo stepped in between us.

“What are you talking about Sara? Alicia didn’t even talk to Josh last week. She didn’t even see him Friday night.”

Sara stepped forward until she and Margo were nearly nose-to-nose.

“No, maybe not. But she is the one who cheated on him and broke his heart!”

My jaw dropped open and a little gasp went through the assembled crowd.

“I never cheated on Josh.” I said.

“Of course, you did. You liar. He told me all about it. How you were fucking other guys all the time. He said you even fucked John and Eric at the same time.”

She pointed at two of the football players hanging around the edge of the group. It goes without saying that I had never touched either of them, but rather than deny it they both smiled at me.

I knew she was making it up, and so did Margo Jane, but the crowd of people around us ate her lies up and wanted more. They pushed closer and I heard a couple of girls whispering “slut” to each other.

“That’s a fucking lie!” Margo Jane yelled. Before I could stop her, she took a swing at Sara.

Sara’s nose exploded in blood as Margo Jane’s punch connected. Sara swung back at her and hit Margo above her left eye. In seconds they were rolling around on the concrete punching each other as the crowd around us chanted: “Fight! Fight! Fight!”

Two teachers rushed in to break it up and hauled both Margo Jane and Sara off towards the office, leaving me with nothing to do but stand there in the middle of the crowd. I heard whispers of “slut” and “whore” and quite a few people were openly laughing at me.

That day the news spread around the entire school and I was walking around with a big red “A” on my chest for all to see.

Neither Margo Jane, nor Sara, came back to class that day. Just as fifth period, my Algebra 2 class, started a girl walked in and handed the teacher Mrs. Roberts a note.

“Alicia? You are wanted in the office. Please go with Cecily here. The principal wants to see you. Take your books.”

The rest of the class began to giggle as I collected my things and made my way to the front.

Cecily, the girl who brought the note, looked at me like I was a leper and motioned for me to follow her. We walked down the hallways in silence until we arrived at the office. As she opened the door for me, and I walked in, she softly whispered “Slut”.

Inside the main office the secretary greeted me.

“Take a seat, Alicia. Mr. Green will be with you in a moment.”

I sat down on the wooden bench outside Mr. Green’s corner office and waited. I was pretty sure I knew what he wanted, but I underestimated exactly how far and fast news of my new reputation had spread.

The door to the principal’s office opened and the school nurse and counselor, Mrs. Barnes, came out to get me.

“Miss Colby, please come in.”

This was bad.

Not just the principal, but Mrs. Barnes as well.

I picked up my book bag and went into the office. I had never had much contact with Mr. Green as I had never gotten in trouble. My only experience with him was just seeing him walking through the halls where he greeted every student by name and asked how they were doing.

Normally he had a big friendly smile on his face, but not this time.

He motioned for me to sit down in a chair in front of his desk. Mrs. Barnes took the one next to me.

“Miss Colby. I would say that it is nice to see you, but under the circumstances that just isn’t true.”

I kept silent.

“Both Miss Parker and Miss Simmons have been suspended for the remainder of the semester for fighting this morning. When I questioned them as to why they were fighting, Miss Parker told me that it was over you.”

I shifted nervously in my seat. I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to say and I felt close to the point of tears, so I kept my mouth shut. He continued.

“In addition, Mrs. Barnes tells me that she has been hearing a lot of… talk about you going around school. Rather disturbing talk to be honest. Did you know about this?”

I nodded.

“I am not going to ask you if it is true. Truthfully, I am uncomfortable even talking about it. Normally I leave this sort of thing to Miss Barnes. But since it started a fight between two other students, I feel like I need to get involved. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

Miss Barnes inched forward in her seat and put a hand on my arm.

“Miss Colby… Alicia… I think we need to talk about how a young lady behaves and how what you do today can have lasting effects on the rest of her life.”

The next thirty minutes were excruciating.

Mr. Green and Miss Barnes alternated between scolding me for causing problems in the school and cautioning me about how my actions affected myself and those around me. They talked about certain actions could produce a certain reputation for young girls.

They basically called me a whore to my face.

I sat there as bravely as I could listening to them.

When it was over Miss Barnes escorted me out of the office and back to my next class.

As I entered the whispers and giggling resumed. I made it through the rest of the day before stopping on the way home to cry in my car.

Why was this happening to me? It seemed like my life, which just recently seemed relatively happy, apart from family issues, was falling apart.

I drove to Margo Jane’s house, but when her father answered the door, he told me that she was grounded for a week. No friends. No phone.

So, now I didn’t even have my best friend to lean on.

Everything just seemed to be spinning out of control and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.

The rest of the week was worse than Monday. It seemed like my bad reputation grew by the day and the stares and whispers only got worse. I even overheard two girls I didn’t know talking about me having a three-way with two ninth grader boys that I had never even met.

At night my dreams were haunted by flashbacks and images Josh and of the golden-eyed man. By day, I was tortured by my classmates. And without Margo Jane to talk to I was all alone.

By Friday afternoon I was exhausted, and the end of the semester couldn’t have come soon enough. But my humiliation wasn’t complete.

When class ended that day, and school was over for the semester, I walked slowly to the parking lot.

When I got to there, I found someone had covered most of my car in toilet paper and written SLUT across the windshield in big red letters with chalk. I stopped at a car wash on the way home to clean it up.

I was relieved to finally get home and know that I had four whole weeks before school began again. I knew that the next day I was going to spend the day with Father James.

Perhaps I should ask him for confession? Maybe telling him everything that was going on would be good for me after all.